phone66 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 My story is on here somewhere. Long story short she broke it off in November been nc for over a month. Im still trying to sell the ring i bought and she lives in the house we bought together as 1st time buyers, we were together for almost 3 yrs. she told a guy she works with she loves him before she broke it off with me. I'm out with a friend tonight and one thing leads to another and me and this friend who is a girl end up kissing out on the patio of the bar we are at. This is the first time I have kissed another girl since the break up. No sooner do we kiss and my ex texts me and it says "hi how are you" then another comes that says " wouldn't be bad to hear from you". I didn't reply. She didn't say I'm sorry for ripping your heart out and being a b#%ch. do I bother to reply at all in the next day or so or just ignore it? I'm going on vacation for 2 weeks on Monday. Any thoughts?
RioTFF Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 My story is on here somewhere. Long story short she broke it off in November been nc for over a month. Im still trying to sell the ring i bought and she lives in the house we bought together as 1st time buyers, we were together for almost 3 yrs. she told a guy she works with she loves him before she broke it off with me. I'm out with a friend tonight and one thing leads to another and me and this friend who is a girl end up kissing out on the patio of the bar we are at. This is the first time I have kissed another girl since the break up. No sooner do we kiss and my ex texts me and it says "hi how are you" then another comes that says " wouldn't be bad to hear from you". I didn't reply. She didn't say I'm sorry for ripping your heart out and being a b#%ch. do I bother to reply at all in the next day or so or just ignore it? I'm going on vacation for 2 weeks on Monday. Any thoughts? If what you're saying -- the timing of things -- is true, I think it's definitely a sign. Whether you contact her. Back or not is up to you.. I'd say text her the next day and have some small talk. Then she if she tells you why she REALLY texted you. Good luck mate, wish my ex would text me. :/
CC12 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 What a terrible moment to get a text from your ex. Ugh. Just ignore it. Forget about that silly text and go have fun on your vacation. You're going to have to communicate with her eventually since you have business that needs to be sorted out, but you don't need to respond to her late-night "how are you" texts, unless you want to be her friend. Do you want to be her friend? Probably not. You shouldn't. Also, it's likely that she'll never apologize for "ripping your heart out and being a b#%ch" so don't count on it ever happening.
Chi townD Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Really? You need advice from here about the text that you received? What do you think people are gonna say?............ Ignore it. If you need to respond, then say," It wouldn't be good to hear from you."
TaraMaiden Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 No, no no. Go on holiday, as planned, have a good time, get her out of your mind, enjoy yourself - and delete the text. If she thinks yanking your chain in that way is going to get you to come running - get her to think again.... this is over. she is over. past. gone. EX. leave it all behind, and block her on your phone. what the hell is she still gaining access for, anyway? New holiday - new life - new beginning. 3
EgoJoe Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Forget what she thinks. I say, RESPOND!!!! "You have some pretty terrible timing. I was doing great until you bothered me. Try not to do that again." 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 No. EgoJoe, you really should know - any form of response just prolongs the agony. Why play into it?? Nothing we reply that we think is clever and final - is ever clever and final enough. I see loads of witty and pretty 'final' responses to trolls on this forum, for example, that you think might would shut them up for good - but it's just feeding them... Same with this. Any response is a 'good response' as far as she will be concerned. Whatever comes back to her, she will know one thing for sure: She succeeded in getting a reply, and possibly getting under his skin.... Ergo, any response, is a victory. 1
gotye Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 ya I wouldn't reply she sounds like she just wants an ego boost, and I would usually reply
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 She ripped your heart out and all you get is a weak text? She's just tossing out the bait to see if you'll still bite. Actions speak louder than words. It sounds like you're moving on. Let her know your ship has sailed and don't answer.
M2155 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Not to mention NOT replying will get under her skin more than anything. She ripped your heart out, let her deal with being ignored. Engaging hernright now, after only a month isnt going to make YOUR vacation better, you were on the right track. You will hear from her again but you don't have to talk to her until you are ready. Ignore!
Author phone66 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Thank you all for the responses, you have all confirmed what I was thinking. I am not going to reply to her at all. Actions speak louder than words. No I am not interested in having a friendship with her at this point in my life and won't be for a very long time if at all. I just can't believe her timing, what are the chances? I'm not interested in much with that other girl either, was just some drinking fun haha. It certainly felt weird to kiss another girl.
TaraMaiden Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 look on the bright side... imagine how much weirder it would have felt kissing a guy..! but see, you weren't that drunk - so common sense prevails!
Author phone66 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 look on the bright side... imagine how much weirder it would have felt kissing a guy..! but see, you weren't that drunk - so common sense prevails! Wow, that's one way to look at it. No amount of alcohol would make that happen anyway.
nature Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Do you think someone saw you kissing on the patio of the bar, and told your ex? The timing seems a bit crazy? I have a feeling she knew you were with a girl and so she's checking in to see if she still has a pull on you? 1
M2155 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 IME, exes have crazy uncanny timing. The minute you get your mind right and start moving on, they come around. It's happened to me a couple of times. I will never get it.
Author phone66 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 UGh, 2 simple text messages from her and I can't get it out of my head. Complete B.S. That girl was my everything. I am sticking to my guns on not replying to her but in many ways I want to. I know it wont do me any good. In the back of my head I do have to wonder if she is starting to re-think what she did. The one that cares less wins, I want to be that person.
nature Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Why don't you just text her back. I know everyone says not to, but in some ways it would show confidence. Text her back and just say, Heh got your messages. I'm heading out of town to ..... for a few weeks. Take care and hope you're having a good spring. A "friend" would just shoot the **** casually. In some ways it would show her you are strong. I don't know. I have mixed thoughts about ignoring her, because in some ways it shows her you are still angry. I guess it depends on how you really feel. If it opens up too much of a wound having contact and is too soon, then don't text her. But if you can do it without reading any thought into it and know that she is just yanking your chain and seeing if she still has you pining over her, then do it. Let her know you are aren't pining and are heading off on a great holiday. Be super casual but "real". We girls know when you guys are playing Mr. Cool. So be yourself!
Sugarkane Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) I wouldn't even bother answering. I did once and all I got was bragging about how well the ex was doing and how THE WHOLE breakup was all my fault. Even though he dumped me coz he wanted to be single. It's not worth it. Edited March 18, 2012 by Sugarkane iPhone errors
Author phone66 Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Why don't you just text her back. I know everyone says not to, but in some ways it would show confidence. Text her back and just say, Heh got your messages. I'm heading out of town to ..... for a few weeks. Take care and hope you're having a good spring. A "friend" would just shoot the **** casually. In some ways it would show her you are strong. I don't know. I have mixed thoughts about ignoring her, because in some ways it shows her you are still angry. I guess it depends on how you really feel. If it opens up too much of a wound having contact and is too soon, then don't text her. But if you can do it without reading any thought into it and know that she is just yanking your chain and seeing if she still has you pining over her, then do it. Let her know you are aren't pining and are heading off on a great holiday. Be super casual but "real". We girls know when you guys are playing Mr. Cool. So be yourself! Great, now I am thinking about texting her back tomorrow. Something as simple as "I'm good". I really shouldn't, she doesn't deserve it.
CC12 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Great, now I am thinking about texting her back tomorrow. Something as simple as "I'm good". I really shouldn't, she doesn't deserve it. Yeah, you shouldn't. Only friends text each other pleasantries. You said you weren't trying to be her friend. Who cares if she thinks you're still angry at her. You don't have to pretend to be over it if you're not. I'm not saying you should be a dick to her, I'm just saying you don't have to force friendly banter with her.
M2155 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Agree with above poster. It's not like she asked you anything of substance. Normally id agree with the "im good hope, life is well" sort of thing but i just wonder if it is too soon for you, i think you will have plenty of opportunities to be in contact (if you want) when you are further along in healing. Like you said, you don't want to be friends and why waste time on pleasantries that could likely leave you even more confused? At least not before vacation! (Besides if she has something of substance to say and you want to hear it, keep waiting. It'll come.)
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