Author Ghaleon Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 I haven't talked to my wife in 3 months, I have been ignoring her. I just now got a message from her on facebook that reads: "Hey how are you doing? I was just wondering if you work this sat? I was thinking about coming in to moms and was hoping I could stop by and get the rest of my stuff that is there. I didnt want to just show up i wanted to let you know. Email me back and let me know plz. Hope everything is good with you." She really doesn't have anything left at the house, she already took it all. The only thing left is her wedding dress and outside of that I can't think of anything shes left behind. Is this just a rouse to get in touch with me?
Author Ghaleon Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Well come to find out she saw some pics I put up of me and this girl I'm friends with and now shes pissed. She changed her last name and when I asked her about it she said what does it matter since you have obviously moved on and then mentioned the girl. She still says shes coming in Saturday for her stuff. I said that I thought she always hated her maiden last name and she said she did but she didn't feel right keeping mine after the divorce. Its the first time shes ever mentioned divorce and it was because she got emotional and she can't handle the fact that shes not in control.
IntoTheAbyss Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Well come to find out she saw some pics I put up of me and this girl I'm friends with and now shes pissed. She changed her last name and when I asked her about it she said what does it matter since you have obviously moved on and then mentioned the girl. She still says shes coming in Saturday for her stuff. I said that I thought she always hated her maiden last name and she said she did but she didn't feel right keeping mine after the divorce. Its the first time shes ever mentioned divorce and it was because she got emotional and she can't handle the fact that shes not in control. Sounds like my stbxw, we have only had 2 actual conversations about our road to divorcing (brought on by her). The first one I said we needed to split our bank account, half the loan payments and take her off my insurance, right away she says "so I guess if we aren't going to work this out now then you just want to cut it in half and get it over with?". Then a few days ago I let her know I went to a seminar on divorce at this company, told her I was intersted in using this company to mediate everything and she response something like "you want to get this over with fast then?". I have been trying to do NC other than with the kids, and all other times her responses are 'um ok' or 'mhmm thanks'. Makes no sense, why be concerned about how quickly I want to get this over with when she wanted it to end in the first place.. Stand your ground man, what you do on your time is none of her business.
Author Ghaleon Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Well she ended up coming in today. She sent me an email on facebook at 8am saying she was leaving on her way to come home. She got here at about 12 or 1. She brought her mom and sister with her because she said her mom didn't want her coming alone. She acted glad to see me but I was on the defense right away. I called her out on everything in front of her mom. Finally we talked some and she told me that we were over, our relationship was done. She said that she loves me but shes not in love with me then told me that she almost came back home a month ago but then she found out that I told her mom that she was a sex addict and that made her mad so she didn't come home. I told her that its like with a drug addict, if you know someone is close to that person and can get them help you do it and then if they get mad at you then so be it as long as that person gets help and is now safe. That about made her cry. All the stuff she came to get she told me before she didn't want. She basically drove 2 hours here to pick up junk and then 2 hours back and has to be at work at 5am the next morning. There had to be some kind of ulterior motive to this. She kept staring me in the eyes before she left and she said for me to take care of myself and then asked if I hated her. I walked up to her car door and asked her where we went from here and she said she didn't know, then they left.
2sunny Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Well she ended up coming in today. She sent me an email on facebook at 8am saying she was leaving on her way to come home. She got here at about 12 or 1. She brought her mom and sister with her because she said her mom didn't want her coming alone. She acted glad to see me but I was on the defense right away. I called her out on everything in front of her mom. Finally we talked some and she told me that we were over, our relationship was done. She said that she loves me but shes not in love with me then told me that she almost came back home a month ago but then she found out that I told her mom that she was a sex addict and that made her mad so she didn't come home. I told her that its like with a drug addict, if you know someone is close to that person and can get them help you do it and then if they get mad at you then so be it as long as that person gets help and is now safe. That about made her cry. All the stuff she came to get she told me before she didn't want. She basically drove 2 hours here to pick up junk and then 2 hours back and has to be at work at 5am the next morning. There had to be some kind of ulterior motive to this. She kept staring me in the eyes before she left and she said for me to take care of myself and then asked if I hated her. I walked up to her car door and asked her where we went from here and she said she didn't know, then they left. Block her. And divorce her. It may take a while - but if you move forward you'll see she's done you a favor at this point.
robf1971 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Is this just a rouse to get in touch with me? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, she probably just wants to get her stuff.
robf1971 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 that she almost came back home a month ago but then she found out that I told her mom that she was a sex addict and that made her mad so she didn't come home. if I hated her. They all say that, or a variation of it 'I was thinking about giving it another shot but then you did (insert BS) and I didn't' They probably even half believe it themselves, it makes them feel less guilty. Personally I'd have left her stuff in the garage with the door unlocked and told her to pick it up.
Author Ghaleon Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, she probably just wants to get her stuff. She already got her stuff. She left a few clothes that was way to big for her and some stuff from the dollar store. Nothing of value at all. She even told me that she took everything that meant something to her and everything that she wanted back when she left and made 2 trips to get it. When I put a pic of me and another girl on a motorcycle is when she out of the blue contacted me and said she wanted to come get her stuff and changed her last name on facebook that night. So she made a 2 hour trip just to pick up worthless junk that they sell at the dollar store where she lives then drove back. There is no way there is not some kind of motive to that.
Author Ghaleon Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 for you or her? She got jealous because of the pic of the other girl and flipped out. I think this was an excuse for her to come home and check things out and see if that girl was staying with me or anything like that. Shes the type that she wouldn't make it apparent if she did want to come back. I feel like it was all a ploy out of spite to try and coax me into thinking things are truly over so that I will come begging to her like I used to do. I can't think of any other reason to make a trip like that for a trunk full of useless junk that she said I could burn if I wanted to. The only thing meaningful was the wedding dress and she never even mentioned it.
Author Ghaleon Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 I agree I have to stop with the Facebook stuff. My wife told me that she did not want any of our families brought into this, that all of this needed to be done just between me and her. Well I posted on my FB a pic of a Sauna I'm going to buy to see what my friends and family thought of it. Well out of the blue I get this message on my board from her aunt: "why couldnt you do this for your wife me and her will be by to pick up her stuff since you wont be nrrdig her stuff to decorate with get rid of all the old memories redecorate with the new get rid of the old memories know what i mean" So I am always buying my wife stuff. Hell I bought her a 2000 dollar ring for Christmas and my parents got her a nice coat and her and her parents didn't get me anything and I wasn't even allowed to have Christmas with them! So much for not involving the family! I think things is going really bad where she is at and all of this is attention ploys because she already said she doesn't want the stuff here, there is barely anything at all here that she left. She made two trips when she first left to get everything she wanted and valued.
2sunny Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I agree I have to stop with the Facebook stuff. My wife told me that she did not want any of our families brought into this, that all of this needed to be done just between me and her. Well I posted on my FB a pic of a Sauna I'm going to buy to see what my friends and family thought of it. Well out of the blue I get this message on my board from her aunt: "why couldnt you do this for your wife me and her will be by to pick up her stuff since you wont be nrrdig her stuff to decorate with get rid of all the old memories redecorate with the new get rid of the old memories know what i mean" So I am always buying my wife stuff. Hell I bought her a 2000 dollar ring for Christmas and my parents got her a nice coat and her and her parents didn't get me anything and I wasn't even allowed to have Christmas with them! So much for not involving the family! I think things is going really bad where she is at and all of this is attention ploys because she already said she doesn't want the stuff here, there is barely anything at all here that she left. She made two trips when she first left to get everything she wanted and valued. Tell her Aunt she has everything she is going to get. She doesn't need to keep coming back and pretending to pick more stuff up. Block all of them! Why are you even looking at there FB pages or even reading any messages. Block them and act as if they never existed. And stop posting personal stuff on your page - you're just fueling drama and input from sources you don't need to poll. Make decisions yourself. Consider what's in YOUR best interest.
Author Ghaleon Posted May 10, 2012 Author Posted May 10, 2012 I thought I had all of her family blocked but this aunt never gets on and I actually forgot that she even had a Facebook account. When she first posted it took me forever to figure out who she was.
2sunny Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I thought I had all of her family blocked but this aunt never gets on and I actually forgot that she even had a Facebook account. When she first posted it took me forever to figure out who she was. There's no reason to communicate with any of them. When it's over - its over.
Author Ghaleon Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 So true, but in her mind its not over its an on going game and I have to pull the plug.
Author Ghaleon Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 This morning proved that I have to end things. I put a post on my facebook about fake love while shes still saying her and this guy is friends and this morning she puts that her "baby fixed her breakfast, now thats love"
worldgonewrong Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 This morning proved that I have to end things. I put a post on my facebook about fake love while shes still saying her and this guy is friends and this morning she puts that her "baby fixed her breakfast, now thats love" Block her from FB. Stop looking at her FB page. You're wasting your time. As you sit and stew over her FB posts, she's living a 'life' and you're just being her bystander. It's an unhealthy thing for you to do.
Author Ghaleon Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Well the wife came in to get the rest of her stuff but I was gone to work. My dad was there and he said she asked where I was at and when he said at work she looked really disappointed. When she was about to leave he asked if that was for sure everything she owned and she said and then started to cry. I got in a verbal altercation with her sister later that evening and her sister blocked me on fb so I blocked them all.
2sunny Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Well the wife came in to get the rest of her stuff but I was gone to work. My dad was there and he said she asked where I was at and when he said at work she looked really disappointed. When she was about to leave he asked if that was for sure everything she owned and she said and then started to cry. I got in a verbal altercation with her sister later that evening and her sister blocked me on fb so I blocked them all. Good! Don't know why you didn't do it sooner.
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