krissy1989f Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I am going through a very different situation because what I am trying to cope with is something i feel is all my fault, although when i sit back and look it wasnt. I am trying to let go of a guy that was basically just a hook up and hang out friend...although i wanted more and we did really seem to like eachother...he just didnt want to commit. I did end up sleeping with someone else during our 6 month hook up/hang out period and found myself feeling guilty so i ended up telling him. That put an end to whatever we had. Recently he has contacted me and thats all ok with me but I will not be a FWB with him anymore, i know have feelings and I want us to be official but when I went to ask him a couple days where it was going he started to ignore me again...I need to let go....but i cant keep thinking this is all my fault and I cant stand the thought of him moving on to someone else... even though that will prove he didnt even want me because we never we "labeled" never met his friends or family...rarely went out...just when it was convenient for him we were together....someone give me advice on how to move on and forgive myself and him....i'm tired of it consuming my mind...and it feels like i start back at the beginning once he contacts me...so maybe its good if i scared him away for good...advice please
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I think you're letting your pain and feelings for him make you feel worse. Nothing you did or didn't do caused this. Fact is, he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him. Stop beating yourself up, blaming yourself for all of this. You can't be friends with someone you have feelings for, it hurts to be around someone you 'like' that way and it isn't returned. It'll be easier for you to tell him goodbye and not to contact you again, no talks, no casual hook up's. Please focus on really letting go and healing.. And most of all stop beating yourself up over this as it's just making you feel worse.
smudge21 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Hmm, sounds familiar... All I can suggest is to go no contact and try your best to get these feelings out of your head and heart. Believe me, if you continue to stay in touch you will only get worse. It's like forbidden fruit, it will always be there, just out of reach, and every day you'll want it more. You need to give yourself time to heal, get past these feelings and then maybe (note the "maybe") you can be friends again. Until then, please stay away and ask him to stay away from you too.
Author krissy1989f Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 thank you and i am doing just that and told him we need to stop talking/seeing eachother...although it was hard
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