zanzi Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) ...i went to his house. Obv, I know this was a bad thing to do. He invited me in, he said he wanted to talk about what had happened- ie he was seeing someone else whilst sleeping with me and I thought him and her were through, when I found out I told her he was cheating on her with me and after that he said he didn't want to have a pyshical relationship anymore. He then said after I did a about six weeks of N.C. and broke it by going to see him that we could be freinds and that he "cared." which has been in my head a lot. People have said " what a jerk" its easy for them to say- they are not in love with him despite what he may or may not have done. I love him for who he is. I feel like someone has stuck a vaccum cleaner in my insides and is sucking out my soul, enegry and happiness and even though seeing him was not so bad, pleasant even it has pushed me back a few steps recovery wise. But then today after I decided to just go back to N.C until I was over him, I sent him a couple of texts saying he shouldnt have done what he did because thats why I told her, I felt I was being blamed, I told him he should take responsibility for his side of the blame, and said that he was probably not caring about how he hurt both her and me very badly. I realize I shouldnt have contacted him again after over a month. I realize I should have deleted his number, but Ive said what Iv'e said now. I contacted him because I still hope he might change his mind but know Iv'e been played. I was so mad, I just sent those texts. I wish I could reverse time and undo telling her, and undo those texts, and just kick him to the curb because I am still trapped and emotionally involved in the love triangle I was trying to escape from. Edited March 17, 2012 by zanzi
Recommended Posts