Phanpooh Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 After my ex left, 3.5 months ago, 2 months NC and almost 6months I'm not with her, my feeling is empty for her, full of my mind is lonely. Yesterday I had a lucid dream ( I had the same dream sometime and I could control myself in dream). I got lost in snow hill, there is a light somewhere, come to me and let go then. I had no shoe, my legs bleeding and that really cold, and hurt like reality, even after wake up, I still feel it a little... That all about loneliness afraid of. So do someone here know how o deal with it? Cause I don't want a rebound or hurt someone emotional, I could deal with it but may there is a way make it easier ?
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 are you lonely for her or just lonely? You have to be able to enjoy your own space. Don't depend on another person to keep you from being lonely. Get to the gym--the endorphins work wonders and you end up meeting a bunch of new people. Take a drive with favorite UPBEAT tunes. initiate a get together with friends, maybe golf or bowling. It's good you have had a few months of healing under your belt so it is not as fresh. Someitmes if you are with the wrong person, you are still lonely.
Author Phanpooh Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 I did all things u advised... Working like busy bee Hang out with friend when I had time Start to walk and do exercise again Learnt some new skill ( some useless) and some fun I could say, I got over my ex, just a little missing her, she now is somebody I used to know. That loneliness is just about me, when you used to be with someone for long time, and then they left, you just felt empty indeed. I hav some close-friends who could support and help my emotional, but I think I need Someone closer...
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I did all things u advised... Working like busy bee Hang out with friend when I had time Start to walk and do exercise again Learnt some new skill ( some useless) and some fun I could say, I got over my ex, just a little missing her, she now is somebody I used to know. That loneliness is just about me, when you used to be with someone for long time, and then they left, you just felt empty indeed. I hav some close-friends who could support and help my emotional, but I think I need Someone closer... How about rearranging your furniture or painting a room another color? it will bring a sense of newness to your life and keep you busy, as well!!! Light a sage candle--it has a sweet light smell and may bring you a nice positive feeling. Your sadness won't last, I promise. I am glad you have done all the above things, but you do need change of scenery. Are you into gardening? Maybe plant a veggie garden or....don't laugh....buy a puppy or kitten:) Animals are huge healers. In time, this awful feeling will go away, just don't sit and wait for that to happen:) Be active, try to smile and feel good about yourself. Fresh haircut, new cologne; anything that won't remind you of your ex. You can do this. We are here for you!!
CopingGal Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 So do someone here know how o deal with it? Cause I don't want a rebound or hurt someone emotional, I could deal with it but may there is a way make it easier ? Volunteer in a field that helps people, or go back to school, or both. They both helped me tremendously. 1
stitch702 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Hang in there...the feelings of loneliness do go away. I look back 8 months ago and how far I have come. Now it doesn't bother me anymore, I actually enjoy my space and am able to do things without being questioned who is going to be there, what are we doing, etc. Time heals all wounds and soon it'll be a fading memory. I do believe that by enduring the pain and loss I have become a much stronger and wiser person. Besides the saying is true, there are many other people out there who will love you. You may not realize it now, but through time you will reach a moment of clarity or epiphany where you'll look back and admire how strong you really are
Author Phanpooh Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Thank you for advise exactly, i moved out my apartment 2 months ago and now im living with family, everything just new for me, my time is spending with kids, friends,... they r supporting my emotional, but i lost sexual attractive with women. I mean, everything is better than expect. I did exactly things help me healing as fastly as possible. This isnt first time i broke my heart. And i knew how to deal with it. But i dun feel interesting with women, even my ex either... Problem is im only 23y, so young. I tried some date with new ones but that boring, just like before i met my ex. Example, when im alone, i want girls, but when im in date, i just want they leave me alone. If sb want to come closely, i left, afraid of hurting thier emotional, im worried could pick a wrong choice again and tired to find. Now just waiting and let desnity design my life. And then that loneliness is eating me, i feel empty indeed. Im happy when everyone around me happy, but i lost sth and dun know what is it...
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