beefolive Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Hi Guys, Again looking for some advice about this.....posted before.my gf and i broke up.we had been together for 6 years. have a house and dogs etc etc. Basically she left for a week then came back for a few days, left again then came back. This happened three times. I said to her at this point we need some real time apart so that you can work out how you feel. About 5 days through this she texts and tells me she misses me and worries about me but she doesnt think she wants to be with me. That night she came over to talk about it, we talked for an hour and she left agreeing to give things a go for a month. My thinking is that there isnt point in giving up just because things are tough. Its worth fighting for and trying to fix the problems. I said to her we would go slow, no calling and texting all the time, just trying to build that original spark back up?. Now this is my dilema, while she has agreed to this, a im worried she will change her mind again and b im not sure how i should approach this?. I want to show her how much she means to me and i dont want to make a mess of things. So any of your help and wisdom would be brilliant. Many thanks
MarkV Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Hi I would suggest giving it one more go and take it really easy. Im in the same position at the moment and have just spoken to my ex girlfriend for the first time in 2 months. She was asking all the questions. Its obvious that you two love each other but she does seem confused about what she wants. Be clear to her that this is the last attempt. I she left you then i would say that you have all the power here..take it cool and express your feelings. If you put all your cards on the table then you cant do no wrong
Author beefolive Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Thats what i want to do, i know deep down we can make it work. I had a chat with her yesterday which was nice, we exchanged a few texts, nothing serious. At the moment i feel that it is me making all of the effort. Its me who instigated the texts and gave her a call. It doesnt feel how it used too...i guess im used to both of us being really lovey towards each other and stuff. Basically i dont want to build myself up to lose it all again but i owe to her and us to give it one more shot. I thin she is really confused about whether she wants too or not?, maybe thats part of the problem.
MarkV Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Im no expert as im going through this myself but i would suggest that you let her do the talking and convince you that she loves you. I have now come to the conclusion that im not going to fight for a girl that does not want to fight for me. Im an alpha male and will NOT allow my pride to be dented or messed around. You should do the same. You sound like a very decent person and i think our ex's are very similar. How old is she do you mind me asking? Mine is 25 and is confused about where her life is going and what she wants. She knows I want her and i have told her. If you do the same, tell her that you love her, want her etc then you can not do anything else wrong as you have laid all your cards out and if in the future you are not together you can stand tall, chest out, deep breath and say 'you know what, i gave it 100% to try and make it work'..for that you will be very proud as a guy and at least you will have held your dignity, pride and be a mature person for it. One more thing, dont clutch at straws if you meet her and she says nice things to you. My ex girl still said things like 'i looked nice' and 'maybe in the future we will be together'..im not taking those mind games..you should not eithet my friend..good luck
chelsea2011 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Unless the two of you confront and deal with the "real" reason behind why she is yo-yo'ng then you are out of luck. The same thing will keep happening otherwise. Give her space and time to figure things out. Let her get to a place where she feels better about where her life is and knows for sure what she wants.
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