mk31 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Ok I need some advice, direction. Here’s my story. Back in July/August 2011, I met a co-worker, She’s 24 Married with 2 kids she had only been married for 2 years & owns her own house. Her Marriage was on the rocks she came into work always upset about something. We started talking about everything I was the one she would always vent too and I would be there to calm her down I was her friend you could say. After a few weeks we would hangout on our breaks. Then I started noticing an attraction between us. So we start kinda flirting with each other but I keep telling myself don’t get attached she’s still married and I know she shouldn’t jump into a relationship right away. So in early September she had enough of her husband and his lies so she filed for divorce. So I end up getting fired from my job, so after like 3 weeks she ends up quitting. So now she is starting to struggle with money. So now she has moved back into her parents house, she decides to sell her house but it needs a lot of work in order to get the $ she needs out of it. So she gets a pt job but is barley making her mortgage payment so now she’s barrowing money from her mother. After a while she assures me this is what she wants and tells me to trust her. So knowing I shouldn’t, I start dating her. So now her X/husband finds out about me via her oldest talking about me, So now obviously he’s upset. She drops the kids off at her X place every day she goes to work{ he’s unemployed } So after a few fights they have, she has him accepting the fact I’m in her and his kids life but I still know he doesn’t like me { I cant blame him for not liking me but he is the one who ruined the marriage } So things go really good till about around Christmas I start to notice she becomes distant from me, not texting me as much just being a little on edge too. Now I know she’s under a lot of stress due to the fact she moved back into her parent’s house, where she does everything cooking, cleaning and running her grandmother around all the while taking care of her two kids. Her youngest has been sick on and off the past few months and last week he had his adenoids and tonsils removed. Now she’s been trying to get her house fixed up so she can get it up for sale but she works weird hours and almost 40 hrs a week barley has time for fixing the hous. So when she does have a day off she wants to be with her kids, understandable. So now she’s becoming kinda distant we’ve been arguing over the littlest things. I know why, I think I’m trying to get the attention she used to give me. So near the end of January I find out her X is going out of town for at least a month. So her only option to watch her kids is her x mother in law who used to hit her kids, they would throw temper tantrums because they didn’t want to go. So the last time we talked on the phone back at the end of January. We were talking the night before and she fell asleep on me{ I thought it was cute } So the next day I hadn’t herd from her all day so I called her at my lunch break and I was just asking her why she hasn’t texted me or called me at all, all day and she snapped and started crying saying she hates her life and all she wants to do is go away just her and her kids where no one knows her so then she hangs up. So I texted her and called her no answer. So I text her here and there I just say hi, how you and the boys doing? She texts me back. So about a month ago I text her and ask her what’s going on with us ? She says” I don’t know I don’t know what you want me to say I don’t want you unhappy wile I’m getting my life back in order” So last week I text her let me know how ( her youngest’s) surgery goes so I get out of work no text so around 8 I call her she sends me right to voice mail { she does that when she doesn’t want to talk } about an hour later she texts me “everything went fine” So that’s about it I talked to my buddys wife who asked me “ how much do you care about her ? I said I care about her and her boys a lot. She said wait for her she has a lot on her plate right now and if she needs you to talk she will but don’t hold your breath it’s going to take her some time to get her life back to where she’s happy. My heart and head {when I’m thinking clearly } says wait and see what happens, My experience says move on and find someone. I don’t know what I’m doing on here or why I’m here maybe its just the pain of not know and I’m just looking for answers I already know. She told me the word love is used way too often. The first time she said “ I LOVE YOU” I didn’t just hear it we felt it, tougher. I love her and her boys and want nothing but the best for them. I normally am a clingy kind of guy. I think that’s why when my mind is clear I know what I need to do and what I shouldn’t do. Writing this has made me feel a tiny bit better but I’m at war with my heart vs my experience. Thanks for reading, any suggestions would help.
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