cerridwen Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 That is because you are British. Brits in general don't like looking good or being healthy because making an effort is considered vain and vanity is a very big sin there. I would love to find a British guy who works out! They're as rare as hen's teeth. That's funny. I can think of three just on this site alone. Spiderowl, what's important is that you're comfortable and from all you've written, sounds like this isn't the guy for you. Go with that instinct, throw him back in, and cast your line again.
Jeremy87 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 That's funny. I can think of three just on this site alone. Spiderowl, what's important is that you're comfortable and from all you've written, sounds like this isn't the guy for you. Go with that instinct, throw him back in, and cast your line again. I work out. You?
fishtaco Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Wot does that mean? He's not a pro-bodybuilder but maybe a little more bodybuilding than fitness freak. He sounds nice but I'm not getting an impression of his personality, more that he reiterates that he likes me and is attracted to me and wants to meet me. I learned a long time ago that flattering comments mean little and that it doesn't make sense for a guy to say he 'likes' someone he knows little about and has only seen a picture of. I find the intensity with no substance a little weird and I shift from thinking he sounds nice to feeling creeped out. And yes, I guess he spends a lot of time in the gym. Do I really want that? You want a guy that DOESN'T go to the gym? Interesting. Whatever floats your boat. It's good that you know what you want.
Emilia Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 That is because you are British. Brits in general don't like looking good or being healthy because making an effort is considered vain and vanity is a very big sin there. I would love to find a British guy who works out! They're as rare as hen's teeth. Untrue. They have the same issues as Americans do: bad diet and sedentary lifestyle However I know a lot that work out, I live in London and metro areas are always different from small towns/the country. People are more competitive
Crusoe Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 That is because you are British. Brits in general don't like looking good or being healthy because making an effort is considered vain and vanity is a very big sin there. I would love to find a British guy who works out! They're as rare as hen's teeth. As are our teeth. We're like one eyed cats, you don't know what end you're f*cking with until you see a wink. 1
missyme04 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Which guy looks more dangerous? Number 1 or Number B And note, the two guys have very different builds. One is much more muscular than the other. LOL!! the 2nd one is REALLY DANGEROUS It really freaks me out to see guys having tattoos. I dont know why but it scares me. spiderowl, you can ask him why he wants to work out. I think that's his passion. Meet him first and know him so you'll know if he's worth your time and effort
oldguy Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 (edited) ...generally, I assign more positive and likable personality traits to non-super-muscular guys. The guys I've been involved with who "lifted" have been likable and sexy, but the thinner ones have been actually compatible with me and more relationship material. Smarter, too, I have to say. :laugh:And a new stereotype is born to add to race, sex & age. I'll give you likable because that's your personal choice but your not really saying fit people, guys in particular aren't as positive or smart as guys who aren't fit, now are you? I work out 5-6 days a week, plus I fight MMA. But just because I'm "buff" doesn't mean I'd hit a girl or use force on her! We work out to make us feel good and give us confidence. Not to use our strength on girls! You should be happy he's active and works out! It takes a long time to get descent size muscle mass and definition. So it shows he stays committed to things! That's what I would think you would want.. I've been involved in Martial Arts for a very long time & couldn't agree more. I grew up angry & scared in a bad place & martial arts gave me confidence & removed the fear & the anger went away. Over the years I've assisted in teaching self defense techniques to various groups like women's groups as well as advanced techniques to LE officers. Maybe the OP should consider looking in her area for such a program. Or just get involved in MA, you don't have to fight competitively and it's a great workout as well confidence builder and you will meet a lot of really good people also. I'll bet you/she'll be very surprised at the cross section of people who are accomplished martial artists as well. Edited March 19, 2012 by oldguy 1
Author spiderowl Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Thanks for your responses. I actually have nothing against a guy who works out a little and a nice, toned body (not that I've got one myself ), but it looks like he spends a lot of time in the gym - and for why? There are some gorgeous guys on here who workout but they look toned not huge and powerful. I don't think English guys are any less fit than other races. I know some very fit English guys. Guess I just feel uneasy about something and can't pin it down. The powerful body adds to my worries. I can imagine an equally powerful body seeming absolutely fine if I knew and liked the guy concerned but I just don't move in those circles. The guys I know are more likely to be fit hill-walkers rather than bodybuilders.
FitChick Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I have yet to hear an American man who works out apologize for it.
Emilia Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Thanks for your responses. I actually have nothing against a guy who works out a little and a nice, toned body (not that I've got one myself ), but it looks like he spends a lot of time in the gym - and for why? There are some gorgeous guys on here who workout but they look toned not huge and powerful. It sounds like you are speaking from lack of experience. Maybe you owe it to yourself to grow to understand it? As oldguy said, martial arts can give you confidence and practical use as well (I do Krav Maga and I box). You will then understand how it works and how it is not about being a gym bunny
Professor X Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 (I do Krav Maga and I box) That's Israelie <3 :bunny:
Emilia Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 That's Israelie <3 :bunny: it's very good self defence stuff as you know. The IKMF has some good instructors in the UK, not that they are that easy to find! It's good fun too, might as well learn something that works Sorry OP!!
Chocolat Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I actually have nothing against a guy who works out a little and a nice, toned body (not that I've got one myself ), but it looks like he spends a lot of time in the gym - and for why? Um... because he likes it? I work out and I probably spend what you would consider a lot of time at the gym. I love being strong and fit. Maybe he does, too.
Imported Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Um... because he likes it? I work out and I probably spend what you would consider a lot of time at the gym. I love being strong and fit. Maybe he does, too. I get that from a few people at work, "Wow, you waste a lot of time in the gym" and than they talk to each other about the 25+ different TV shows they watch religiously that seemingly they are living their lives through or all the different video games they play. I think many people spend a lot of time doing absolutely nothing, than I do working out. 1
setsenia Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 This guy has contacted me online and, after exchanging several messages over a long period of time (over 6 months), he wants to meet. He sounds a nice guy. He's younger than me - which is a concern - but he wants to meet as friends at least and for me to 'give him a chance'. I have doubts about this but the guy seems nice and I can't see a good reason not to be friendly. All communication with him has been good: he's polite and respectful and considerate. He didn't have a photo on the dating site so he sent me some of himself. He clearly works out! Quite honestly, I find that intimidating. He's not a huge guy but looks very strong. It seems a silly reason not to see someone because they look strong. I know some women might find a guy like this very attractive but I'm a petite woman and it freaks me out a bit to think of being with someone that much stronger than me. What do you think I should do about this guy? Does anyone else find it of concern that a guy takes working out seriously enough to have a powerful-looking body? LOL! This reminds me of my dad. He's 6', muscular and loves the 5' twig skin and bone women 20+ years younger than him. He told me his ex of 6 years "has gotten chubby". He said she went from 105lbs to 115-120 and she's 5'3". Oh, please. I'm just not feeling it!
Desensitized Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I personally love working out. No guy in their right mind would ever think of working out to overpower a woman... If anything, they like that their boyfriend is fit because they can protect them. At least, this is what I've been told many times when I hold my girlfriends, or when cuddling. They always comment that they feel safe when I hold them. If you think this guy is scary: Redirect Notice then you probably wouldn't want to be my friend. Lol. We have the same body type, though I'm a bit younger than him.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I personally love working out. No guy in their right mind would ever think of working out to overpower a woman... If anything, they like that their boyfriend is fit because they can protect them. At least, this is what I've been told many times when I hold my girlfriends, or when cuddling. They always comment that they feel safe when I hold them. If you think this guy is scary: Redirect Notice then you probably wouldn't want to be my friend. Lol. We have the same body type, though I'm a bit younger than him. Not that I think that the guy in that photo (or you) couldn't look intimidating to a lot of people, male and female, but I don't think his physique really looks all that extreme to begin with. He's in very good shape, obviously, but he doesn't look like he could eat a man whole. I don't see how the guy in OP really looks intimidating, since we can't see his torso other than his arms.. And his arms are sort of being propped to look bigger. I could cross my arms and squeeze 'em against my sides/chest and make them blow up, too, but it's not how they look dangling at my sides. He probably still has pretty damn thick arms, regardless, but they don't look that crazy to me. Never heard of a woman or girl, regardless of age, actually being intimidated by a guy being too muscular, as if he's going to beat the crap out of her spontaneously. Hell, news flash for you, even those skinnyfat wimpy looking weirdos could overpower you if they were really out to do it, girly.
turt Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Would you rather see him sit on the couch all day? I don't see how this can't be positive. It shows you found someone who is healthy and is dedicated. What's wrong with that? There are tons of benefits of working out. It makes everyday work easier. Heavy is now light!
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I have yet to hear an American man who works out apologize for it. Well, not sure if I'm correct, but the culture is different. American culture tend to expect men to be "manly" and "macho". So looking like Vin Diesel or The Rock is usually considered a plus. Anything more then that would be less mainstream. But that's not the case in Asia, and apparently other parts of the world as well. When I was in Asia last time, I was hanging out with a bunch of tourists that I had befriended, including a lady from Mexico. She said she finds the men there too small and skinny -- not manly enough. Being that I came from American culture, I tend to agree. But the locals certainly don't. Even though I'm Asian myself, if I get to the shape I want to be in, most Asian women in Asia will find me too bulky, but my goal is a very non-exciting 5'10", 185lbs, reasonably low body fat. I do have the Asian skinny gene so it's been a battle. I think the type of men they like over there is the skinny guy with glasses, kind of like how I'd be naturally if I didn't adopt the US sensibilities. Just my guess, not sure if it's correct.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Hi Spiderowl, any guy can probably kill you so don't dwell on that. Is that really the best way to calm her fears? Don't be afraid of strong guys... because we can ALL KILL YOU... Mwahahaha! 1
volkl1996 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Your little voice, your gut if you will, is talking to you. I do this too. I find some ridiculous thing to focus on that causes me to push someone away. I guess it's our minds way of telling us it's not right. Go with your uneasy feeling and end it...just my opinion. Meeting him will not cause it to go away and you truly do not have much invested at this point in time.
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