blindnowisee Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hi all, I broke up with my long term gf 2 months ago. I've just completed moving out to a new place this week and my ex txted me asking me about some things I've taken with me (and that she'd like to get back). She texted me that she'd pick them up at my new place and we could have a "catch-up chat" as well. I let her know that I'll give the items to one of my friends and he will take them over to her. She replied with a 'oh okay'. I feel like I'm doing the right thing. Not entirely sure though! Need some thoughts :-)
Black Jack Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hi all, I broke up with my long term gf 2 months ago. I've just completed moving out to a new place this week and my ex txted me asking me about some things I've taken with me (and that she'd like to get back). She texted me that she'd pick them up at my new place and we could have a "catch-up chat" as well. I let her know that I'll give the items to one of my friends and he will take them over to her. She replied with a 'oh okay'. I feel like I'm doing the right thing. Not entirely sure though! Need some thoughts :-) Hello there. I don't have much to say but it seems that you want some time to yourself, and that's okay. I think she's trying to remain in contact with you to "keep the door open." You know, stop by your new place and probably lead you on. Many women do that after break up. Can you elaborate on why you guys broke up?
Author blindnowisee Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 We broke up because of a lack of personal boundaries. Others might call it GIGS. All in all the relationship became a bit stale, we both came to the conclusion that we sacrificed our identity and that we were both sharing the same life..
smokey bear Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 We broke up because of a lack of personal boundaries. Others might call it GIGS. All in all the relationship became a bit stale, we both came to the conclusion that we sacrificed our identity and that we were both sharing the same life.. Ah independance and individualisation, i have a feeling you may regret this..... I certainly did
Author blindnowisee Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Well.. the break-up came from her end not mine.. I kinda felt it coming though. I'm in a bit of a limbo now.. not sure whether it's right to move on or not.. These dilemma's make life interesting though.. can't go left AND right ;-)
heatherfeather Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hello there. I don't have much to say but it seems that you want some time to yourself, and that's okay. I think she's trying to remain in contact with you to "keep the door open." You know, stop by your new place and probably lead you on. Many women do that after break up. Can you elaborate on why you guys broke up? Many men do the "keep the door open" thing as well.
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 We broke up because of a lack of personal boundaries. Others might call it GIGS. All in all the relationship became a bit stale, we both came to the conclusion that we sacrificed our identity and that we were both sharing the same life.. Are you sure you came to that conclusion also or did she try and force that on you? You have a "right" to say how you really feel, man.
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Many men do the "keep the door open" thing as well. I agree but I was only talking about OP's situation.
EgoJoe Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Hi all, I broke up with my long term gf 2 months ago. I've just completed moving out to a new place this week and my ex txted me asking me about some things I've taken with me (and that she'd like to get back). She texted me that she'd pick them up at my new place and we could have a "catch-up chat" as well. I let her know that I'll give the items to one of my friends and he will take them over to her. She replied with a 'oh okay'. I feel like I'm doing the right thing. Not entirely sure though! Need some thoughts :-) You're doing the right thing. Don't get guilted into getting used. She wanted to break up, that means goodbye. Move on. Even reconciliation requires it.
TheOneWhoKnocks Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 She's trying to get her foot in the door. If she wants her stuff back, she can take it back. If she wants to see you, she can come out with it and get an honest reaction. You did the 100% right thing.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I don't get it... You want to keep the door open too..yet you don't want to see her when she gets her things. Is this a strategic ploy?
coughingzebra Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I don't get it... You want to keep the door open too..yet you don't want to see her when she gets her things. Is this a strategic ploy? No he's not keeping the door open. You did the right thing. Who knows what could have come out of Pandora's box if you accepted to see her? Even though I don't know you, man, I'm proud of you. Good job. Way to stick up for yourself (thumbs up) Don't look on the situation with a microscope. Seriously? This happens all the time. I swear I hear this stuff even on the radio in Cali. Eventually someone wants to creep back into their comfort zone after a break up. You moved on but she feels out of place. Needs to get back to her shell, ya know? It's gonna get messy. Tangled. Complicated.
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