Bob_Funk Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 -hit puberty -spend your high school years alone despite hitting the gym religiously and making an effort to talk to girls -get to college and realize it's nothing like the beer-driven sexfest of your fantasies -be tormented by the flesh buffet constantly on display, none of which you can have -get lucky once or twice with a chubby 4 after beating yourself up in the gym for years and putting yourself out there a ridiculous amount -graduate, while coming to terms with the fact that your best years are behind you -begin serving 50 year prison sentence -date a couple "bbw's" out of desperation in your 20's -upon seeing your hagard reflection in the mirror at 28, accept that your pussy-getting days (if you could even call them that) are over -marry your current "bbw" -get cheated on and taken to the cleaners by wifey -drown your sorrows in scotch and hookers whom you can't get it up for -endure the remaining years of tedium alone until dying from a heart attack on your way to the cubicle farm
MrNate 2.0 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Damn. You have your life planned out already. Sucks. Here's a tampon. 4
somedude81 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Damn, haven't dated a few BBW or got lucky with the chubby 4. Guess I'm atypical.
PlumPrincess Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Damn. You have your life planned out already. Sucks. Here's a tampon. :lmao: Bob_Funk, do you have a sixpack? If you've been hitting the gym as hard as you claim, you should have a sixpack. If you don't, you're probably doing something wrong despite all the training effort you put in. 1
sid3 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Damn. You have your life planned out already. Sucks. Here's a tampon.
CainJ Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Bob, acquire a passion, realize confidence, expose your passion, ?????, eventual success with women if you persist.
fishtaco Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Seems like my life is way better than the typical male. And here I thought I was just the average guy. Either bob is a sad individual or I'm freaking awesome. 2
sid3 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Seems like my life is way better than the typical male. And here I thought I was just the average guy. Either bob is a sad individual or I'm freaking awesome. Bob is just a really honest guy, its his circumstances that are really sad. Pathetic actually.Sorry you're still just average.
Author Bob_Funk Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) :lmao: Bob_Funk, do you have a sixpack? If you've been hitting the gym as hard as you claim, you should have a sixpack. If you don't, you're probably doing something wrong despite all the training effort you put in. I used to. In fact my body looked very similar to the professional model's in Nysesto's avatar, though more natural looking. I remember going out in my younger days, feeling all confident about my body, clothing, and perfectly coiffed hair... and getting nothing but rejections. This is because girls care about a guy's face above everything else. Not that I'm homely. I just don't meet the standard of model-handsomeness that's required. Nowadays, I'm merely slim-athletic, with a 4-pack (gasp!). I lift casually and no longer starve myself. Edited March 15, 2012 by Bob_Funk
FrustratedStandards Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Damn. You have your life planned out already. Sucks. Here's a tampon. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I <3 u 1
CainJ Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I remember going out in my younger days, feeling all confident about my body, clothing, and perfectly coiffed hair... and getting nothing but rejections. And yet how often did you converse with the girls you were targeting? Doesn't matter how confident and good looking you are if you are sitting alone, isolating yourself, and not making any sort of conversation. You say you got rejected, but it was likely the way you opened and how you continued to talk to her. Instead of practicing and finding more ways to improve how you'd talk to girls, you decided that there was nothing you could do, developing this debilitating defeatist mindset which has led to this.
Nightsky Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 How old are you now? Where do you live? -hit puberty Gotta love all the extra hair, deeper voice, and new smells and urges right! -spend your high school years alone despite hitting the gym religiously and making an effort to talk to girls You don't make an effort to talk to girls, you go and have fun with girls and stop making everything so result oriented. If I was going to give myself any advice back in HS it would be to just have fun and not stress about it. -get to college and realize it's nothing like the beer-driven sexfest of your fantasies Actually my college was full of boos and loose women. Not that I was apart of that. You don't want your life to be a beer comercial its pretty much pornography. -be tormented by the flesh buffet constantly on display' date=' none of which you can have[/quote'] Why can't you have it... and why are you calling pretty girls a "flesh buffet." I mean funny but I hope you don't actually say things like this. -get lucky once or twice with a chubby 4 after beating yourself up in the gym for years and putting yourself out there a ridiculous amount You realize you're treating meeting women like torture so of course its going to be hard on you. Change your outlook and you solve your self made problem. -graduate' date=' while coming to terms with the fact that your best years are behind you[/quote'] Live in the here and now. Your best years are where ever you are. -begin serving 50 year prison sentence You do realize you can do what ever you want. I mean you can literaly do what ever you want. You speak english for god sakes life can't be that hard. You are what ever you imagine yourself to be. -date a couple "bbw's" out of desperation in your 20's What is this desperation? -upon seeing your hagard reflection in the mirror at 28' date=' accept that your pussy-getting days (if you could even call them that) are over[/quote'] At 28 you should look better then you ever had before. I mean if you were going to freeze yourself in time at an age 28 would get a lot more respect then 21. -marry your current "bbw" Again you can live the life you want to live. You don't have to marry some "bbw" as you call it because thats what you've decided will make you most unhappy. Despite what you think bigger women are people too so you're not doing yourself or them any favors by just being with some one you don't like. I don't understand why you got it in your head its so much easier to get them. -get cheated on and taken to the cleaners by wifey You do realize you can have a prenup and keep assets seperate. Also if you have kids and you guys break up she'll owe you child support if she makes more. Not all women cheat. -drown your sorrows in scotch and hookers whom you can't get it up for Bad idea alcohol works best for relaxing and taken responsibly or not at all. Drinking because you're sad would only make you angrier. -endure the remaining years of tedium alone until dying from a heart attack on your way to the cubicle farm Well you will die but, thing is if you die tonight but you embrace and enjoy the rest of your life then it was worth it. Get some energy and go for the women, and jobs, and life you want.
seibert253 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) Here's one of my fav's: Once upon a time there was a prince. The prince fell massively in love with the fair princess. The prince asked the princess to marry him and she replied no. The prince then lived happily ever after by: ride motorcyclesbanging women half his age whenever he wishedhunted, raced cars, went to strip clubs at willdrank beer, Jack Daniels, and Tequila repeatedly and oftendrank milk from the jugwatched whatever he wanted on TVplayed XBox all day if he wishedwas able to lay around in his underware, scratching his b#llsleft the toilet seat upnever got cheated on or had to give an Ex half of everything he ownedall his friends and family thought he was cool as sh#tAND NEVER, EVER, HAD TO HEAR ANY BITCHING OR COMPLAINING FROM A WOMANThe end. Oh, BTW, the princess ended up marrying a less than fare 2nd prince who could never hold a job, drank and took drugs all day, and yelled and hit her all the time. Life's a bitch sometimes. Edited March 16, 2012 by seibert253
sghffdmc Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I guess I'm not a typical male. For real though, having a pity party is never going to help anything. Some people love feeling sorry for themselves (I tend to slip into a funk like that every now and then), but when you look at the whole idea you realize it's pointless and a waste of valuable time in your life. You only live once, don't waste it wallowing in your sorrows. Find something to do, pick up a hobby, anything. Enjoy the time you have on this earth.
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) -hit puberty -spend your high school years alone despite hitting the gym religiously and making an effort to talk to girls -get to college and realize it's nothing like the beer-driven sexfest of your fantasies -be tormented by the flesh buffet constantly on display, none of which you can have -get lucky once or twice with a chubby 4 after beating yourself up in the gym for years and putting yourself out there a ridiculous amount -graduate, while coming to terms with the fact that your best years are behind you -begin serving 50 year prison sentence -date a couple "bbw's" out of desperation in your 20's -upon seeing your hagard reflection in the mirror at 28, accept that your pussy-getting days (if you could even call them that) are over -marry your current "bbw" -get cheated on and taken to the cleaners by wifey -drown your sorrows in scotch and hookers whom you can't get it up for -endure the remaining years of tedium alone until dying from a heart attack on your way to the cubicle farm Seems more like your life than the typical guy's life. Just because you're a male doesn't mean your thoughts, actions, and life are the norm. Edited March 16, 2012 by udolipixie
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Here's one of my fav's: Once upon a time there was a prince. The prince fell massively in love with the fair princess. The prince asked the princess to marry him and she replied no. The prince then lived happily ever after by: ride motorcyclesbanging women half his age whenever he wishedhunted, raced cars, went to strip clubs at willdrank beer, Jack Daniels, and Tequila repeatedly and oftendrank milk from the jugwatched whatever he wanted on TVplayed XBox all day if he wishedwas able to lay around in his underware, scratching his b#llsleft the toilet seat upnever got cheated on or had to give an Ex half of everything he ownedall his friends and family thought he was cool as sh#tAND NEVER, EVER, HAD TO HEAR ANY BITCHING OR COMPLAINING FROM A WOMANThe end. Oh, BTW, the princess ended up marrying a less than fare 2nd prince who could never hold a job, drank and took drugs all day, and yelled and hit her all the time. Life's a bitch sometimes. Egh there's plenty of variations on the male fairy tale meme but I've yet to see one attach the princess ended up how you depicted. One of the female fairytale meme is: Once upon a time there was a prince. The prince fell massively in love with the fair princess's hotness. The prince asked the princess to marry him. The princess said no like a smart girl and lived happily ever after: bought her own damn motorcycle * drank good wine and ate rich chocolate when she wanted * drank cheap bear and greasy bar food when she wanted * bought a vibrator that made her cum harder than any man ever had traveled wherever she wanted and actually got to see the world * she never had a husband who expected her to keep the house clean, support him emotionally and take care of the kids, who never pissed and moaned whenever she asked him to help out or reached out to him emotionally * she messed with men twice her age as well as with the ones half her age * had guy friends without needing to worry about having a husband who thought she was cheating on him, all the while he was ****ing the girl who works down the hall * she landed several promotions because her boss knew she’d never get married and our unfair employment practices disadvantage women who will potentially need maternity leave someday * she never became stuck raising her children alone like millions women * never experienced spousal abuse like millions of others * she kept her home clean like a ****ing adult * went where she wanted, did what she wanted * and all of her friends and family thought she was ****ing cool and she had tons of money and left the toilet seat down. The end.
sid3 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Egh there's plenty of variations on the male fairy tale meme but I've yet to see one attach the princess ended up how you depicted. One of the female fairytale meme is: Once upon a time there was a prince. The prince fell massively in love with the fair princess's hotness. The prince asked the princess to marry him. The princess said no like a smart girl and lived happily ever after: bought her own damn motorcycle * drank good wine and ate rich chocolate when she wanted * drank cheap bear and greasy bar food when she wanted * bought a vibrator that made her cum harder than any man ever had traveled wherever she wanted and actually got to see the world * she never had a husband who expected her to keep the house clean, support him emotionally and take care of the kids, who never pissed and moaned whenever she asked him to help out or reached out to him emotionally * she messed with men twice her age as well as with the ones half her age * had guy friends without needing to worry about having a husband who thought she was cheating on him, all the while he was ****ing the girl who works down the hall * she landed several promotions because her boss knew she’d never get married and our unfair employment practices disadvantage women who will potentially need maternity leave someday * she never became stuck raising her children alone like millions women * never experienced spousal abuse like millions of others * she kept her home clean like a ****ing adult * went where she wanted, did what she wanted * and all of her friends and family thought she was ****ing cool and she had tons of money and left the toilet seat down. The end. You forgot the part where she would often cry when by herself. As she got older she developed a compulsion to rescuing cats from the animal shelter. One day she looked in the mirror and realized she had eaten too much chocolate. As she got older she discovered her tons of money could never heal her broken heart. The crying became much more frequent. She ended up bitter and alone.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yeah. You get out of life what you put into it. Spending tons of time in the gym and whining about the fat girls you got to have sex with didn't really earn you much, did it.
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) You forgot the part where she would often cry when by herself. Why would she be crying often by herself? As she got older she developed a compulsion to rescuing cats from the animal shelter. What's wrong with helping out animals? Seems too stuck on the old cat lady meme and not every older woman who is alone has cats. One day she looked in the mirror and realized she had eaten too much chocolate. So not every one stays attractive forever there's such a thing as aging. Considering her money there's such a thing as exercise and surgery. As she got older she discovered her tons of money could never heal her broken heart. Why would she have a broken heart? Who broke it? The prince? She never wanted the prince in the first place. The crying became much more frequent. Why she's crying? She ended up bitter and alone. Why would she be bitter? Being alone in the sense of not having a relationship is what she wanted. Seems a prime example of men are happy without women but women are sad & pathetic without men. A man without a woman is free but a woman without a man is pathetic bitter blahing. Egh I prefer both genders can be quite happy without the other. I like the male and female fairy tale memes. Edited March 16, 2012 by udolipixie
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 She also died alone and bitter with hate eating at her dirty female heart for all the Men in the world...pride will kill any woman, who thinks she needs nothing but her dry vagina. Her only friend is a KY jelly and mr. rumbles Most people die alone not too many people die together I'd imagine. Though: Why would dying alone be seen as a negative if not having a relationship was what she wanted? Why would she be bitter? Why would she hate men? What does pride have to do with this? In that fairy tale meme her work and freedom to not be in a relationship is her source of pride. As for her only friend seems you lack reading comprehension: * and all of her friends Or are you imagining suddenly her friends vanished?
El Brujo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 My life has been pretty atypical. I seriously doubt anyone else would want to live it... but then again, I was always attracted to the strange and unusual... because I myself am... strange and unusual. Once upon a time, there was a prince who figured the whole royalty-and-rescue bit was for the birds, so he hocked his crown and joined a trade guild instead, much to the dismay of his mommy the queen. While all the princesses hid inside the parapets in their castles and waited for a prince to pick up their ESP and come rescue them, our dorky and unhandsome former prince was discovering that there was more to life than princesses, making babies, and beer that tasted like weewee. He learned what made an airplane fly. He learned how engines worked. He eventually started writing books, fooling with radios, and building things out of metal and wood. Sometimes he regretted not having ever tried to rescue any princesses, but then again, he had his trades to pleasure him... so he ended up living pretty happily ever after. (How about that) 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 That kind of life actually sounds pretty awesome. Anyone who could do that is better than 90% of most men out there. I read a study once that said 50% of men die as virgins.
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 My life has been pretty atypical. I seriously doubt anyone else would want to live it... but then again, I was always attracted to the strange and unusual... because I myself am... strange and unusual. Once upon a time, there was a prince who figured the whole royalty-and-rescue bit was for the birds, so he hocked his crown and joined a trade guild instead, much to the dismay of his mommy the queen. While all the princesses hid inside the parapets in their castles and waited for a prince to pick up their ESP and come rescue them, our dorky and unhandsome former prince was discovering that there was more to life than princesses, making babies, and beer that tasted like weewee. He learned what made an airplane fly. He learned how engines worked. He eventually started writing books, fooling with radios, and building things out of metal and wood. Sometimes he regretted not having ever tried to rescue any princesses, but then again, he had his trades to pleasure him... so he ended up living pretty happily ever after. (How about that) Like it except for the sometimes regret bit and that beer tasted like weewee
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 That kind of life actually sounds pretty awesome. Anyone who could do that is better than 90% of most men out there. I read a study once that said 50% of men die as virgins. Egh last I heard 4% of adult Americans die virgins (data collected from 1999 to 2002 by Center for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta for the National Center for Health Statistics) and male wise 10% of men die virgins. By sex it's talking about vaginal intercourse if you're the type to include oral/manual as virginity losing sex the numbers are much lower.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Egh last I heard 4% of adult Americans die virgins (data collected from 1999 to 2002 by Center for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta for the National Center for Health Statistics) and male wise 10% of men die virgins. By sex it's talking about vaginal intercourse if you're the type to include oral/manual as virginity losing sex the numbers are much lower. Well there is a margin of error. And your number is from 10 years ago. Lots of things have changed since then. I'd probably go as far as to say 10-15% of men end up completely devoid of any physical experience with women (kissing, vaginal sex, oral sex, etc.).
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