donnamaybe Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 But Woggle you are not calling out certain women, you are calling out all women apart from an absolute handful who you specify. That is extremely insulting. This is true. Woggle, you claim to see things all the time. If you say, "I was in a restaurant and saw a couple and..." that would be one thing. But you make these broad statements based on what a few guys tell you. Unless you actually see and hear the interaction between them and their women you have to take what they say with a grain of salt.
Author Woggle Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 I never say all women but when you see enough examples you become fearful that it might happen to you. I know that many women on here been very empathetic and supportive but I would like to know how they would react if a husband or boyfriend had a weak moment and opened up to them. Would it make them lose attraction? Anyway I think I am ready to let down these walls and truly open in my marriage. I don't want to be with a woman that won't let me be a full human being and I will probably be pleasantly surprised. 2
donnamaybe Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Do it Woggle! Don't let those awful women in your past ruin your future with that great gal you have! You get one life. LIVE IT BABY!
anne1707 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I never say all women but when you see enough examples you become fearful that it might happen to you. I know that many women on here been very empathetic and supportive but I would like to know how they would react if a husband or boyfriend had a weak moment and opened up to them. Would it make them lose attraction? Anyway I think I am ready to let down these walls and truly open in my marriage. I don't want to be with a woman that won't let me be a full human being and I will probably be pleasantly surprised. And you have already received plenty of feedback from women on this thread saying that they love it when their man opens up to them. But you still don't believe us!
Author Woggle Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 And you have already received plenty of feedback from women on this thread saying that they love it when their man opens up to them. But you still don't believe us! I know that but then I see one misandrist comment by somebody that only has sex posts and it just ruins everything. I will focus on that one comment from some obscure poster.
anne1707 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I know that but then I see one misandrist comment by somebody that only has sex posts and it just ruins everything. I will focus on that one comment from some obscure poster. Thus demonstrating misogyny. This really is pot, kettle stuff Woggle.
carhill Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 You're strong enough to let go of the red and be vulnerable. Do it today.
Author Woggle Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 You old enough to know Woogle, that you should NEVER take dating or relationship advice from a woman, if you are a Man. Did I not tell you before to stay out of my thread.
donnamaybe Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 You old enough to know Woogle, that you should NEVER take dating or relationship advice from a woman, if you are a Man. Once you get your first girlfriend, come on back and tell us all about your vast knowledge of relationships.
Almond_Joy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 She is a very caring person and in the beginning I was never afraid to show that side of me but then I see what happens to men who do show that side and I hear how many other men tell me never to let a woman see you as weak and I changed it up. I am sick of trying to pretend to be something I am not just so she won't lose attraction. I hate to say this but there is a big gap between what women say and what women do and when most men tell me I am right I tend to believe it. why on earth did you listen to your friend? and why did you let what you see in the media change the relationship between you and your wife? The media/social perspectives are not directly relevant to your relationship. What anyone else has to say about your relationship is completely irrelevant, and it makes me so angry and sad to see things like this worsening otherwise good relationships. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't want the man they love to be vulnerable with them. It is the greatest gesture of trust and respect you can give to someone you care about, IMO. I would bet money that your wife is hurt that you don't share that aspect of yourself with her anymore.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I'm not sure whether the issue here is that Woggle finds women generally unsympathetic (a perception that merits challenge in view of the amount of time and empathic support he has received from various women on here over the years) or if he feels oppressed by stereotypical expectations of men (big boys don't cry etc). It seems to be a common belief among men who have a marked distrust of women that we aim to make them vulnerable with a view to exploiting or controlling them. It's the trust v mistrust dilemma that faces everybody in early childhood, and particularly Woggle on account of him not negotiating it successfully...not through fault of his own, but on account of poor parenting, exacerbated by a disastrous first marriage. Now, as an adult, he's still struggling with it - and probably always will. Is that something that we, as women, need to feel insulted by? I don't think so. Poor Woggle...it's his issue, and one that will almost certainly plague him for the rest of his life. None of us can wave a magic wand and make it go away. Nor can his wife. The question is whether it will destroy his marriage. It needn't, if his wife simply accepts him as he is - trust dilemmas and all. From what he's said on this board, she appears to...so presumably from her perspective the good in Woggle outweighs the problems presented by his trust issues. Great post! From a guys perspective... some women you can be open with and some you can't. Men just have to learn to differentiate between the two.
Almond_Joy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 One more thing: Of course you're tired of bottling yourself up! This isn't about being a man or a woman - it's about being a person, a human being with emotional and social needs just like anybody else. That is nothing to be ashamed of, and if you have someone that you can safely share and fulfill those needs with, it's foolish not to utilize and appreciate that aspect of your marriage. 1
xxoo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 One more thing: Of course you're tired of bottling yourself up! This isn't about being a man or a woman - it's about being a person, a human being with emotional and social needs just like anybody else. Yes, it is a basic human need. And if you don't take the risk with your wife, you run the risk of meeting someone else in the future to connect with, and open up to. And then you'll be the stereotypical married man with a wife who "doesn't get you", and an OW who gets to meet those needs. You don't think that will happen, but none of them ever thought it would happen. It's always "just happens". 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 An example of what I meant - one woman only is seen as good (and she is) - but you leave the rest of us in the gutter. Do you not also realise that we are insulted not just for ourselves who post on here but for her friends and relatives who happen to be female and do not post on here. We are insulted for ALL women, including the ones who are not here trying to help you. I don't think you are really the person to be scolding Woggle. You don't have the right to be insulted for all women. Woggle's greatest fear in life is to have a woman treat him the way you treat your husband. Perhaps you have grown over the last few years, but to my opinion child molesters don't really have a right to tell victims to just get over it. Nor do you have the right to tell a BH how he should feel. 1
anne1707 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I don't think you are really the person to be scolding Woggle. You don't have the right to be insulted for all women. Woggle's greatest fear in life is to have a woman treat him the way you treat your husband. Perhaps you have grown over the last few years, but to my opinion child molesters don't really have a right to tell victims to just get over it. Nor do you have the right to tell a BH how he should feel. This is an open forum. Have my posts contravened the terms of this site? If so, report me. If not then I am perfectly entitled to post here. Woggle has been one of my greatest critics in my time here but he has engaged with me in this thread in a respectful manner. I also find your metaphor of child molestors deeply offensive. 1
wuggle Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Woggle's greatest fear in life is to have a woman treat him the way you treat your husband. Before I assume the worst, ie that you are a nasty vindictive little person, could you please explain what you mean by that snide remark ??
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 This is an open forum. Have my posts contravened the terms of this site? If so, report me. If not then I am perfectly entitled to post here. Woggle has been one of my greatest critics in my time here but he has engaged with me in this thread in a respectful manner. I also find your metaphor of child molestors deeply offensive. I'm suggesting that your outrage over Woggle's trust issues are not appropriate. He has been one of your critics... and that is why some of these comments just come across as petty revenge. Didn't mean to offend you with the analogy. Before I assume the worst, ie that you are a nasty vindictive little person, could you please explain what you mean by that snide remark ?? I'm saying that people should be mindful of their own personal perspectives and bias before pronouncing judgment. Feel free to assume whatever you like. I know Woggle may have trust issues... but I see that outside of LS he is a decent person who treats others with respect. I'm not happy seeing other people rag on him... especially those who don't treat other people with honesty and respect IRL. 1
anne1707 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I'm suggesting that your outrage over Woggle's trust issues are not appropriate. He has been one of your critics... and that is why some of these comments just come across as petty revenge. Didn't mean to offend you with the analogy. It is not revenge at all. I am not that petty or vindictive. In addition I have more than once acknowledged on this site that I deserved the criticism I got in my early days. I learnt from that just as much as the more gentle responses I got. Even Dexter Morgan recognised that I had learnt and changed. Again - Woggle has responded respectfully. He does not seem to have a problem with my posts. As this is his thread, I take his opinion as the one that matters here, not yours. Your analogy was and is still deeply offensive.
wuggle Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I'm saying that people should be mindful of their own personal perspectives and bias before pronouncing judgment. Feel free to assume whatever you like. I know Woggle may have trust issues... but I see that outside of LS he is a decent person who treats others with respect. I'm not happy seeing other people rag on him... especially those who don't treat other people with honesty and respect IRL. As you are wrongly assuming and stating that my wife is not "treating me with honesty and respect" I think I am forced to asume that you are a nasty, hypocritical, judgemental little person, who can't even be bothered to read another persons post before passing judgement on them. Your vindictive little posts are far nastier than Anne's to woggle. 1
threebyfate Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I am trying to get past this and that is why I am asking this question. Maybe you stayed with your husband but I have seen enough real life examples to know I am not just being paranoid. I am not trying to insult you.No you're not trying to get past this. If you were, you'd notice how everything you ascribe to women, actually belongs in your terrain. You don't trust women because you're deceitful with your wife. You claim women want to cheat, then admit you want to be player just to see what it's like. You accuse women of wanting to leave their husbands and then admit considering it yourself. This is clearly called projection and hypocrisy to an ultimate degree. How can you live with yourself being such a hypocrite? Are you a woman hence why you project all your own personal issues onto women? If your wife showed vulnerability and uncertainty in your marriage, would you leave her? My money's on yes, you'd leave her, hence why the question in the opening post. I'm sincerely fed up with your crap.
carhill Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 A lot of insight IMO can be gleaned from Wog's even-handed responses to even the harshest of criticisms. For that, as well as surviving the past and thriving in the present, he's got my respect. That said, sometimes being truly vulnerable can elicit unexpected and perhaps not so neutral and balanced responses from that place of vulnerability and IMO that can be healthy too. Life is a mixed bag and a man should feel empowered to experience it to the fullest extent possible, even if being imperfect and vulnerable is part of that experience. 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 As you are wrongly assuming and stating that my wife is not "treating me with honesty and respect" I think I am forced to asume that you are a nasty, hypocritical, judgemental little person, who can't even be bothered to read another persons post before passing judgement on them. Your vindictive little posts are far nastier than Anne's to woggle. And I could just as easily assume you are a weak willed, spineless, pansy. But I won't. I know that it most likely isn't true. If you would like to continue this exchange feel free to PM me.
wuggle Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 And I could just as easily assume you are a weak willed, spineless, pansy. But I won't. I know that it most likely isn't true. If you would like to continue this exchange feel free to PM me. Please justify your comments, your arrogant little pr*ck !!
Author Woggle Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 No you're not trying to get past this. If you were, you'd notice how everything you ascribe to women, actually belongs in your terrain. You don't trust women because you're deceitful with your wife. You claim women want to cheat, then admit you want to be player just to see what it's like. You accuse women of wanting to leave their husbands and then admit considering it yourself. This is clearly called projection and hypocrisy to an ultimate degree. How can you live with yourself being such a hypocrite? Are you a woman hence why you project all your own personal issues onto women? If your wife showed vulnerability and uncertainty in your marriage, would you leave her? My money's on yes, you'd leave her, hence why the question in the opening post. I'm sincerely fed up with your crap. I have tried being a player and while I don't want it for myself I must admit it is a way for a man to avoid being hurt. It avoids all the good things of falling in love but he also avoids getting hurt.
anne1707 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I have tried being a player and while I don't want it for myself I must admit it is a way for a man to avoid being hurt. It avoids all the good things of falling in love but he also avoids getting hurt. It may be a way of avoiding being hurt but it is an empty life Woggle and that is not the life for you.
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