xxoo Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 All I could ask is that my partner "fights fair". The fight I'm referring to in my OP is the first "unfair" fight. Well, in that case, agreed. When it shows up that a person gets nasty, doesn't care about your point of view, and/or can not work through conflict with you, the relationship should end. Is that a common experience in dating?
Author J322Y Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Well, in that case, agreed. When it shows up that a person gets nasty, doesn't care about your point of view, and/or can not work through conflict with you, the relationship should end. Is that a common experience in dating? I think fighting on that level would be come up mostly in LTRs. In a new relationship I think I would lower the threshold for a "fair fight". So, if we have a "spat" on the first date I wouldn't be inclined to have a second. If we get into an emotionally charged debate that is uncomfortable a few weeks into dating I might rethink the pairing, and so on. What I'm trying to accomplish is to be observant in the early stages of a relationship. When I look back on my failed marriage and recently failed LTR I can remember events that could have given me clues to problems that became obvious later. I remember noticing these things but glossing over them because I didn't want to ruin the relationship. In retrospect I think I should have given these things more consideration. I don't exactly regret the time spent with my ex GF, but the last few years were difficult and it should have ended sooner. This afternoon I spoke with the woman I'm dating (three weeks) about this. We made an agreement to consciously avoid letting negative emotions cloud our judgement. I don't know if approaching this together and consciously will make a difference but it's worth a try.
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