Ex might have seen me with another girl last night

[pacman81]

The more I think about it the less likely I am to believe that it actually happened…but has still had a major affect on my emotions. I met with a friend of mine last night…we actually met because I knew she would be a good person to talk with about my ex because she has gone through a similar situation with her's…she is also just a very positive and strong person.

We met at the café in whole foods…when we got there she went to go get something to eat while I stayed at the table…when I was sitting at the table I looked out the window and saw my ex pulling into the parking garage and walking towards the store. I then switched seats so my back was to the window. Eventually the girl I was meeting with came back and we started talking…the café is by the entrance so I don’t think it would have been possible for my ex to see us when she was leaving if she left through the exit...but if she thought she saw me walking in there is a chance she exited through the entrance...who knows.

Regardless of whether she did see us together or not my emotions have been all over the place about it. I have read every single thread I can find on here and article online relating to getting your ex back and they all pretty much say your ex needs to know that you have or can move on without them…so you would think I would be happy about this possible encounter. But the idea that my ex thinks I have moved on or am seeing someone else already, when in reality I haven’t and am not ready to, is making me sick. Although we are not together right now I wish I could tell her how committed I still am to us and with the way things were left I am not sure if she knows that.

This also made me think about how I would react if I saw her with another guy…based on how everything has happened between us I would be absolutely devastated if I saw her with another guy before we had talked again.

We have been NC for a month and I have been managing…the past week especially well…but last night just really set me back in regards to whether or not I think I will be able to continue with the No contact and leave things up to her to contact me.

I typed out a list of reasons why to continue with NC which does seem to be help.

 

I wanted to post this on here because i really respect the advice that is given. I have an amazing support system here...but they are not as "experienced" in this area and are telling me "if you really miss her this much and want to be with her you need to tell her" and things along those lines.

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/317199-felt-i-should-post-my-story

[gotye]

you are right about not being ready, but looking like you are good without them is of course good!

[CaliBabe]

Looking like you "are" moved on and that it doesn't phase you actually makes you look more appealing. It shows strength and that maybe she isn't the center of your world. If anything, it was good.

[jus d'orange]

At this point, it doesn't matter what your ex sees and knows about you.

 

This is tough to do, but you really must try to focus on what you've got going and not at all on her. At a month post breakup, the relationship is absolutely done. If, someday, she and you decide that you want to be together, that will be a new relationship. What she sees you incidentally doing now has no effect on that possibility.

 

It's ironic, but the only chance for a future relationship with her rests on you totally moving on. I have really moved on, believing at first that it would allow me to have her back someday. However, of course, this has allowed me to see things objectively: for the foreseeable future, I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with my ex. You need to strive for that, because it's best for every possible outcome. Most of all, you'll get your dignity back and stop worrying about anything your ex does.