Wensdae Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hello, Am hoping you can all help me please! I started a new relationship with my bf 6 months ago & am the happiest I have ever been! he's fantastic, funny, sexy etc, all the things I'd hoped for & I know he feels the same about me, he says he wants to marry me & is hoping that we'll try for a baby soon. So where's the problem? I'm just under 8 years older than him, I've just turned 37, he's just turned 29. I'm having real difficulty with the age difference, even though it's not a huge gap, but I've never thought about my age before & now find it's constantly on my mind. We did discuss it in the beginning & he doesn't think about it at all, I don't look 37 more late 20's early 30's, so am thinking it's more of a vanity thing maybe, also that he could have a 20 something on his arm, I think I doubt if I'm good enough for him. Silly thoughts maybe but none the less I can't stop thinking them & they're getting worse, not when I'm with him though, when we're together we have loadsa fun, just when I'm on my own, driving to work etc. So basically just wondered if someone could please help with some advice on how to get my head around a problem that isn't/shouldn't be a problem. Thanks for your time.
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Congratulations i'm happy for you. I'd be a little concerned that your in a relationship with someone you don't think your good enough for however, but aside from that best wishes.
Author Wensdae Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Thank you! I know I'm good enough for him really, maybe that didn't come out quite right :-) I just mean I feel that I'm too old for him, or really that I'm to old for me :-)
Emilia Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hello, Silly thoughts maybe but none the less I can't stop thinking them & they're getting worse, not when I'm with him though, when we're together we have loadsa fun, just when I'm on my own, driving to work etc. So basically just wondered if someone could please help with some advice on how to get my head around a problem that isn't/shouldn't be a problem. Thanks for your time. Well there are always reasons why something can or can't work out, age gap is only one thing on that list. Are you looking at this long term? Do you want kids? Does he?
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I only think it's... uncomfortable when someone is dating a person close to their children's age or younger. Or when someone is 19, 20 or younger & is dating someone 5 or more years older than them. I'm glad to hear you are confident & know your the best thing that every happened to him:p
Author Wensdae Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Emilia, yes very long term I hope & would love children with him, he wants to try now. Agree, lots of reasons why something can or can't work but everything is perfect bar my stupid age gap thoughts! Oldguy, confident in myself, something else that usually comes with age but certainly not to the point that I'd state I was the best thing that ever happened to him, although I will confirm he's the best thing that has ever happened to me!!!
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Oldguy, confident in myself, something else that usually comes with age but certainly not to the point that I'd state I was the best thing that ever happened to him, although I will confirm he's the best thing that has ever happened to me!!! that is wonderful, I was just cheering you on 1
Anela Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hey, welcome to the site. It's nice to see someone new, who isn't a troll.
kaylan Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 OP....just have fun with the guy and see where it goes. Dont rush the marriage and kid thing though. I know you have to worry about your biological clock, but make sure hes the right man for you first. Btw, I notice women are the ones who make a much bigger deal about being older than a guy, than the guy actually will. Hell some girls act weird if they are only a few months older than the dude.
Author Wensdae Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Anela, thank you for the welcome! Kalyan agree, i think its def primarily a female issue! We're 6 months in so a little early re the baby thing but he is soooooo the right one, he's pretty fantastic!!
FitChick Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 We're 6 months in so a little early re the baby thing but he is soooooo the right one, he's pretty fantastic!! I am a bit suspicious of a man who has only known a woman for six months yet wants her to get pregnant right away, especially if he isn't married to her yet. Sounds to me like he is trying to control you. I wonder if he is insecure because you are older? Tell him you want the wedding before the baby and you will discuss this topic again in six months' time when you've been together a year. A year is not unreasonable.
BETTERFLIRT Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Hi room. One more time let me greet you all. I do not know if Wendsae is still needing help with her issue but better much than having less. i have been 30 years since marsh and my girlfriend is 37 the same as you both. I am not going to talk about my personal relationship but only want to give you some advices. 1,the thing that is primarily important between you is love. If you both love each other do not even think about the year. 2, maturity. You need people that can bring values to your existence. What matter most a 37 year old boy who do not even know how to treat to make you feel loved or a bit young boy who really cares and is ready to sacrifice his life in defence of your cause? You and unfortunately you can answer this question. 3, Stand out from the society. That is where your problem comes from. What peolpe will say, how they will see me, will not they take me for a babykeeper...ect? let me tell you then your life is what you have to defend but not what people want, who you want to be but not the one others expect you to be. Again avaluate the conditions based on how you feel, what he brings to you since you are together above all what you both expect from the love you are recieving
mtber75 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I am a bit suspicious of a man who has only known a woman for six months yet wants her to get pregnant right away, especially if he isn't married to her yet. Sounds to me like he is trying to control you. I wonder if he is insecure because you are older? Tell him you want the wedding before the baby and you will discuss this topic again in six months' time when you've been together a year. A year is not unreasonable. How is him wanting to impregnate her trying to control her...It's just the opposite! Believe it or not some guys do want to settle down pretty quickly. He was probably thinking about her biological cloak. Marriage is definitely not far off in his mind.
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