The Blue Knight Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 So much anger present. Kind of scary actually. Who would think that a subject like "older men" would cause the full moon effect?
FitChick Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 And why do some older guys go after (and get) younger girls? Simple answer coming from an older guy - cuz they can !! It works the same for older women/younger men. I doubt anyone is being forced to participate in either type of relationship.
The Blue Knight Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Agreed. Most of the time a beautiful woman only raises his "status" and it's a sign of sexual prowess in ALL people, I would say. If I see an ugly guy with a beautiful girl, I always think "wow, he must have something most guys don't". Well I noticed Bill Maher on TV last week when he was making the news for something stupid he uttered, and some of the shots were of he and some chick about 20 to 25 years his youth. Now I'm a guy so maybe I'm not qualified to say this, but is Bill Maher a looker? I think not. I see Maher's fame and fortune playing into Maher having a chick that age. But that's Hollywood in general.
The Blue Knight Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I know many warm, intelligent, good people who have something about them that reduces their value in the dating market. When this happens, they often go for the older man because the older man accepts their problems in exchange for their youth. Yep, certainly true in many cases. On the other hand there are guys like myself who wouldn't take on some babes baggage just because she's young and good looking. It's not worth the time or the 24-7 drama.
mesmerized Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 The BIGGEST reason in my opinion is that older guys treat them better and want commitment whereas young guys just want to have fun. A fat girl might not be able to get a hot guy his own age, but she might be able to get a good looking old guy! As another poster said tho, the old guy thing "gets old" after a while and women realize someone close to their age will work better for them in the long run. Personally I highly prefer guys my own age plus minus 5 years. 1
RedRobin Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Hey, every old rich man is aware that a young girl will use him for money. They aren't stupid. And if money brings the young ladies, then so be it. This whole money in exchange for sex thing seemed to work for both people. So I say why not? Read the fine print. He was married. But maybe the wife made out in the end after all... she gets his money and the young lady rid her of a cheater... all in one day! Ka-ching!!
FitChick Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Read the fine print. He was married. But maybe the wife made out in the end after all... she gets his money and the young lady rid her of a cheater... all in one day! Ka-ching!! Good point. If she had divorced him, she'd only have gotten half. Hmmm, would it be premeditated murder if she had been stuffing him full of transfats for years, hoping he'd drop dead of a heart attack? 1
mesmerized Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) They physically age the same- but a man's 'status' (career, wealth etc) will continue to go up while a woman's 'status' (typically her looks) does not increase past say 30. This is all pretty common sense- and there are studies where they 'age' the same man (add some grey, lines etc) and most women find that more attractive than his younger version. Why? Cuz they suggest it's cuz the older him can provide better than younger him. Don't shoot the messenger! only until a certain age! I LOVE brad pit's look but he looks too old for me now. Guys at 26 year old even have wrinkles nowadays. I won't believe you on the studies until I actually see the pictures! I've never seen a girl seeing an obviously aged man and be like: omg old, I like. Any time a girl showed me pics of an older guy she liked (we're talking at most 10 years older), he looked damn hot and not many wrinkles or signs of aging. This reminds me, today an extremely handsome guy (11 years older) messaged me on a dating website. I was so torn to reply or not but I did reply and he sounds like a great guy that is looking for relationships. But I feel like I should be honest with him because I really don't want to have an older guy as a boyfriend but maybe for just sex. Edited March 16, 2012 by mesmerized
udolipixie Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 They physically age the same- but a man's 'status' (career, wealth etc) will continue to go up while a woman's 'status' (typically her looks) does not increase past say 30. This is all pretty common sense- and there are studies where they 'age' the same man (add some grey, lines etc) and most women find that more attractive than his younger version. Why? Cuz they suggest it's cuz the older him can provide better than younger him. Don't shoot the messenger! Please cite these studies. So essentially by your statement the only advantage older men have over younger men is wealth so seems like he'd be tossed in pretty quickly for a guy their age who has that wealth. It's not really physical attraction it seems just looking for the best provider.
veggirl Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Dannyinavan, Salt and pepper hair and some rugged looking lines on the face may be attractive to plenty of women, but not to girls in their 20s. Gimme a break, you won't convince anyone that 20 yr old girls are looking for that. Maybe if dude's rich. Ex: Richard Gere. SEXY, and an "old guy". But also, rich. Famous. I may think he's sexy but surely wouldn't date him (just don't like older guys) and if he wasn't rich, I doubt the VAST majority of any 20somethings would be interested, even if they thought he was attractive. And let's be real. Most men don't age as gracefully as you are implying, and most aren't rich. Most old men are chubby and bald(ing). Nothing wrong with that, but let's call a spade a spade, PYTs aren't chasing that just cause he may have 75k/yr (not rich).
FrustratedStandards Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Well I noticed Bill Maher on TV last week when he was making the news for something stupid he uttered, and some of the shots were of he and some chick about 20 to 25 years his youth. Now I'm a guy so maybe I'm not qualified to say this, but is Bill Maher a looker? I think not. I see Maher's fame and fortune playing into Maher having a chick that age. But that's Hollywood in general. I don't think Bill Maher is horrible. Compare him to a woman his age and he will most likely come out better.
RedRobin Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I think we have some gender confusion on this thread
Bob_Funk Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Well, this thread has confirmed what I already knew: life ends at 30 for us guys. All the more reason to live fast and die young. *takes a swig of scotch*
oldguy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Well, this thread has confirmed what I already knew: life ends at 30 for us guys. All the more reason to live fast and die young. *takes a swig of scotch* and begins around age 40. Proof of reincarnation!
veggirl Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Well, this thread has confirmed what I already knew: life ends at 30 for us guys. All the more reason to live fast and die young. *takes a swig of scotch* Well, if you aren't super rich and you are hellbent on a 20yr old PYT at 45, then yeah you are right. If your expectations are realistic, and your desires/expectations have evolved past that of a boy who's just discovered girls/his balls, then you're absolutely wrong
bac Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 You clearly have no clue what you're talking about. And I'm not even going to try to tackle these broadly uninformed comments because each statement independently deserves a good couple of paragraphs in reply. :rolleyes:I have been married an older man for many years. And, I have dated other older men for years.
musemaj11 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Women are purchasable goods. Love is an illusion.
danny in van Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 No...I was saying they have as much desire for sex with younger women as the younger guys will have. Basically, that a woman shouldnt a assume an older man will be less prone to using her for sex. From what I have seen some are more prone to it simple because she feels a sexual role, not a companionship role. And puh lease...older guys love getting props from their buddies for bagging a younger chick. Ive seen it, so gimme a break. But it doesnt happen enough where it becomes something you "veterans have on the youth". Last time I checked, whenever I go out, you older dudes arent much competition to us younger guys. And most chicks look at you as creepy when youre 35 and in a bar full of early and mid 20s folks. No the younger guys obviously have more desire for sex. That's obvious right? Why would u think that? The sex drive goes down (I'm glad for that and is a bio fact) and once you've had lotsa sex (or had lotsa anything) you kinda just try to up the quality- or not bother to get involved- whereas in my 20s myself and my buddies had much easier and looser standards- cuz we were sooo horny. I would not sleep with some of the girls I did in my 20s - no way! You're gonna hafta trust me on this one...and you can't really argue about sex drive etc cuz I been where you're at (20s or 30s?) but u ain't been where I'm at. U think I get with young girls for props? haha No I do cuz - needless to say- it's fun and as long as they're willing, why wouldn't I?. BTW, the approval of your peers goes waaay down with age thank god. It peaks in school days doesn't it? The younger u are the more important your buddies are to you- so u want a hot girl for that reason more than me, that's obvious too. And competition of 20 somethings? Well I've kept my looks - have always been asked if I'm an actor etc (not modest but true) so lotsa girls wanna get with a guy who is above the norm/average IF he still has his **** together- and I have it more together than ever. You're right- I won't push into a girl's 20 something crowd at the bar w/ all the drooling guys around. It's in other arenas where stuff happens for me. Girls might say 'oh lookat frat boy Biff with his ever present ball cap doing shooters while playing some video game- wow isn't he original??' Or she spots some guy with a nicer car,in better shape, , better clothes, not fixated on the ball game who looks original like he's been around the world a few times and most importantly- is playing his cards calmly...hmm or "let's go back to Biff's basement apt and lie on his futon!" Fun! The funny thing to me is that you obviously resent older guys getting young girls (hmm I can't imagine why you would haha) - but the thread wasn't 'do girls get with older guys/' ( a good thread for your opinion where u could convince yourself they don't) . It was 'why do they?' No one's doubting they do...Wait- you're playing protective older brother to them? Is that it? You're gonna 'nice guy' your way into their beds? But u know it doesn't work!
kaylan Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 ^Whatever you say brah. I not gonna even get in a long winded dialogue with you about this. Id simply be repeating myself. Your points have been acknowledge and digested though.
RedRobin Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Probably a grain of truth there RR. Men are more status-orientated and a younger woman on his arm is a sign of sexual prowess in the minds of older men. Um, no. No perks for sexual prowess on his part. More like they are looking at her like she must not have the sex drive of a normal woman her age and also have no mo-jo of her own going on if she needs to get her stuff paid for by someone else. Any perks the older man gets is something along the lines of a) car wreck. Can't help but look. It is only in his mind that he thinks people admire him. b) just wierd curiosity. Like, wonder how THAT is gonna fly (people do seem to be drawn to the unusual). c) maybe some envy. Like when people check out his luxury car, big house, and other status 'accoutrement'. Like, wow, he got another human being to agree to that? ooookay!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I dated older men when I was younger because they did not expect things of me that men my age did. I was not intimadated by them like men my age. They did not challenage me. All I had to do was be pretty. And when I was young, that was enough. Men my own age made me much more nervous. I knw they would expect more of me. And I had a hard time communicating with them while older guys where easier because I wasn't all hot and turned on by them. So I had an easier time cultivating relationships with older men based on that. When I was younger, they did take me to nice places and we had fun times. But as I got older, I realized this was no longer enough. I was not the shallow little girl I once was. (Although there was one older man that was different from the other guys but that didn't work out anyway because of age as well.) I wanted a real relationship based on mutual respect and where a man would require more of me. I now desire a relationship with a man closer to my own age. I don't want to be with someone that has already been there and done that. I am not interested in being with a man that already was married and has kids with another woman. I do not see a world where older men hit 40 and stay or get more sexy. I do not think men age better. I do think our society, mainly that has been run by men for many generations, has tried to propogate that idea as a means to compete with younger, better looking men for competition. But I don't think there is any real truth, or biological truth, in that. I do not think George Clooney is hot. I do think Ryan Gosling is. I am also not attracted to those pasty face girl-boys from Twilight. In real life, most relationships between my friends, cousins, uncles and aunts are with people around their own age. Infact, my mom is the only one that I know that had a huge age gap between my father and her. And she always tells me to date men my own age. When they were younger the age difference wasn't as much. But as they got older, my dad aged faster. Because that's realistically what happens. The older you get, the faster you age. And the differences become more apparent. She wanted to do things and he didn't. And it caused issues.
oldguy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) I dated older men when I was younger because they did not expect things of me that men my age did. I was not intimadated by them like men my age. They did not challenage me. All I had to do was be pretty. And when I was young, that was enough. Men my own age made me much more nervous. I knw they would expect more of me. And I had a hard time communicating with them while older guys where easier because I wasn't all hot and turned on by them. So I had an easier time cultivating relationships with older men based on that. When I was younger, they did take me to nice places and we had fun times. But as I got older, I realized this was no longer enough. I was not the shallow little girl I once was. (Although there was one older man that was different from the other guys but that didn't work out anyway because of age as well.) I wanted a real relationship based on mutual respect and where a man would require more of me. I now desire a relationship with a man closer to my own age. I don't want to be with someone that has already been there and done that. I am not interested in being with a man that already was married and has kids with another woman. I do not see a world where older men hit 40 and stay or get more sexy. I do not think men age better. I do think our society, mainly that has been run by men for many generations, has tried to propogate that idea as a means to compete with younger, better looking men for competition. But I don't think there is any real truth, or biological truth, in that. I do not think George Clooney is hot. I do think Ryan Gosling is. I am also not attracted to those pasty face girl-boys from Twilight. In real life, most relationships between my friends, cousins, uncles and aunts are with people around their own age. Infact, my mom is the only one that I know that had a huge age gap between my father and her. And she always tells me to date men my own age. When they were younger the age difference wasn't as much. But as they got older, my dad aged faster. Because that's realistically what happens. The older you get, the faster you age. And the differences become more apparent. She wanted to do things and he didn't. And it caused issues. The first couple lines made me laugh because, obviously I'm an "older guy" & as stated earlier have always been attracted to women my age. Some of the reasons for that, as I've gotten older anyway have been the obvious, "yuk" factor of dating someone closer to your children's age, (mine are all adults... god I am old ). Another reason is exactly what you said but from my perspective; "few challenged me & most thought that all they had to do was be pretty" so when I read that in your comments it cracked me up. When I became single in my early mid 40's I discovered the younger woman phenomena, it was one of the few times women lied about there ages to make themselves older And one was a woman who was exactly half my age who had just graduated from an ivy league school who could definitely challenge me & I loved spending time with her but when it came right down to it I just couldn't get past that yuk factor. My son was near her age & I would have loved for the two of them to meet but, (this sounds terrible but), at that time he was not it her league. And she liked older guys anyway. And yes, to my own dismay I did turn down her advances & no I'm not guy But there's the difference too, when I was younger if the girl was legal I didn't think beyond the moment. btw, We remained, "friends" & I still hear from her from time to time. No, really, I'm not guy :laugh: My father was also about 15 years older than my mom, which is maybe why both you & I are more attracted to people our own age but even though my father was older he was always more of the outgoing type & my mother was the homebody. Ain't it grand we're all so different? It makes it a whole lot harder to stereotype though . Edited March 16, 2012 by oldguy
danny in van Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Um, no. No perks for sexual prowess on his part. More like they are looking at her like she must not have the sex drive of a normal woman her age and also have no mo-jo of her own going on if she needs to get her stuff paid for by someone else. Any perks the older man gets is something along the lines of a) car wreck. Can't help but look. It is only in his mind that he thinks people admire him. b) just wierd curiosity. Like, wonder how THAT is gonna fly (people do seem to be drawn to the unusual). c) maybe some envy. Like when people check out his luxury car, big house, and other status 'accoutrement'. Like, wow, he got another human being to agree to that? ooookay! you are only guessing at an older guy's motivation for a nice house, hot spouse etc...I however am that guy so I'll tell you something. This so called mid life crisis of an older guy and the nice car, girl etc? Why does he get the sweet car and house? Cuz he can finally afford it!! Why wouldn't you get a nicer car than in ur 20s if you can? hmm Euro chic Mazerati or a Ford? gee I dunno. I guess some do this as a prop for themselves- I know a couple guys like that- and they never had success with girls at ANY age- so they r doing what they can I guess. But picture a guy who has always done fine with the girls and has disposable $ and a brain. He's actually sifting thru and avoiding alotta mediocrity in general - and believe me there are alotta hot girls in the 20s who have only looks it seems, who I avoid- and keep my eyes peeled for the achievers or any age. Someone's age to me is not impressive- it's what they're doing/done with their life that is... Believe me there are lots of 7 outta 10 girls in their 20s who think they're hot to me cuz of their age. They'll be 6s in a few yrs and more flabby still!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 oldguy Another reason is exactly what you said but from my perspective; "few challenged me & most thought that all they had to do was be pretty" so when I read that in your comments it cracked me up. LOL, that is pretty funny oldguy. When I became single in my early mid 40's I discovered the younger woman phenomena, it was one of the few times women lied about there ages to make themselves older And one was a woman who was exactly half my age who had just graduated from an ivy league school who could definitely challenge me & I loved spending time with her but when it came right down to it I just couldn't get past that yuk factor. My son was near her age & I would have loved for the two of them to meet but, (this sounds terrible but), at that time he was not it her league. And she liked older guys anyway. And yes, to my own dismay I did turn down her advances & no I'm not guy But there's the difference too, when I was younger if the girl was legal I didn't think beyond the moment. btw, We remained, "friends" & I still hear from her from time to time. No, really, I'm not guy :laugh: That's because you are mature oldguy. Your emotional and mental brain has grown with your phyiscal body. And unfortunetly, a lot of guys (and to be fair women) don't want to grow up emotionally and mentally. They want to pander to the idea that they are still, "young at heart". And someone can be young at heart but it's creepy when guys would say this to me when they were older trying to date me. Which is why when I was younger, most of the older guys I dated could date me and where asking for more from me, meaning long term relationships, moving in together, and getting married. But I didn't want to be with a man that could relate to my 23 year old self. Most women would probably rather be with a guy that thinks like you do on this topic about women your own age vs younger women and your ability to relate. Most guys just over look this and go for the looks and youth. There was one guy I dated that was older and was different from the other guys but he was the exception, not the rule. And we still had some issues because of our ages. My father was also about 15 years older than my mom, which is maybe why both you & I are more attracted to people our own age but even though my father was older he was always more of the outgoing type & my mother was the homebody. Ain't it grand we're all so different? It makes it a whole lot harder to stereotype though . That is true! Although I did have some dad issues when I was younger which is another reason I think I dated older guys too. But I think just seeing the difficulties in my parents marriage because of their age gave me a different perspectiv. And I totally agree about differences and makes it hard to stereotype.
Miko Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Love this topic. How many of the negative opinions come from women? Most if not all...jealous much? I'm 30 and had a relationship with a much younger girl last year who happened to be the younger sister to a friend of mine. Her sister was furious with me and it was nonstop drama and jealous BS (from the OLDER one). She's still upset with me but as most men will tell you, guys will do just about anything for a girl they're into, which includes pi$$ing off anyone we have to. Alls fair in love and war right? A few points though. 1. Self-sufficient men don't NEED anything from a woman, or anyone else for that matter. 2. Sex, friendship and low incidence of drama...that doesn't exactly require an abundance of maturity in a woman let alone an "excess" of it does it? 3. Women of any age can be just as immature as anyone else. As evidenced by my previous 30 y/o gf who would sleep with a teddy bear, watch cartoons in the morning and couldn't manage her own life whatsoever. This compared to a 19 y/o I dated that I could have actual deep conversations with and who was perfectly capable of managing her own affairs and issues, and was a hell of a lot more fun as well.
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