danny in van Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 True, but in general men age better. At least, that's what i've observed. Perhaps it's also due in part to the fact that men are more likely to take care of themselves than women (who bear children and have more difficulty getting back on track). On top of that, there's menopause which (I would imagine) takes a big toll. They physically age the same- but a man's 'status' (career, wealth etc) will continue to go up while a woman's 'status' (typically her looks) does not increase past say 30. This is all pretty common sense- and there are studies where they 'age' the same man (add some grey, lines etc) and most women find that more attractive than his younger version. Why? Cuz they suggest it's cuz the older him can provide better than younger him. Don't shoot the messenger!
The Blue Knight Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Various people. I can't think of any names at the moment. 30 isn't over the hill. 30 should be fairly attractive to a lot of women 20 to 25. Hopefully, you're on your way to a career and the wild times are behind you and you look like a better prospect for something long term.
The Blue Knight Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Older men I've taken interest in generally had significantly more developed and complex personalities than younger men, were fairly set in their ways, and were charming and intelligent, which I've struggled to find in my own age range and social groups (closest I've gotten was a borderline sociopath). I've never been in a relationship with one - I've had very few since I'm mostly solitary - but I do notice and I do think about it. Best to steer clear of the sociopaths. Good call
kaylan Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 True, but in general men age better. At least, that's what i've observed. Perhaps it's also due in part to the fact that men are more likely to take care of themselves than women (who bear children and have more difficulty getting back on track). On top of that, there's menopause which (I would imagine) takes a big toll. bull crap. I even argued this assertion on a PUA forum once. I backed my stuff up with studies. Women do not age worse than men. What you experience is simple confirmation bias based on conditioning from a viewpoint influenced by male dominated society. People tend to notice a womans flaws more than a mans. Doesnt mean women age worse than men. It just means men have made society more critical of womens looks. Men are definitely NOT more likely to take care of themselves than women. I see far more milfs around me than I ever see decent looking older guys. Women are more concerned with up-keeping their beauty because thats how they are judged. Menopause in women is not much different from a guy losing all his testosterone and feeling the effects of estrogen more as he ages. For every older guys who looks good out there, theres just as many good looking older women. People just over look that because women are supposed to take care of themselves. Whenever a guy does it at an older age, it gets more of a wow factor because its a bit more rare. If someone wants to mention George Clooney or Johnny Depp, I can mention Jennifer Aniston or Helen Mirren. Whos take damn good care of herself well into her 60s. 2
The Blue Knight Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Older men see younger women as women out of their league. Older men worship younger women even if the women are fat, ugly, stupied, crazy or whatever. Older men typically take younger women to expensive restaurants on the first date. Older men consider themselves blessed if they get married younger women. Older men treat younger women as a perfect daddy would treat them. Most women have never had a perfect daddy and they always wanted to have him. Younger women do not need to put any effort in relationship with older guys because older men take care for everything and have no demands. Also, no sex is needed in a long-term relationship with an older man. As for a short-term relationship, there much less sex is needed with an older guy. You clearly have no clue what you're talking about. And I'm not even going to try to tackle these broadly uninformed comments because each statement independently deserves a good couple of paragraphs in reply.
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Talk to me in 10 years Find some older male friends who will talk to you honestly instead of trying to f you. How does that have anything to do with my post? I'm not going simply by what men tell me; friends, boyfriends, or otherwise. I'm going by what I know about myself, and from what my co-workers, peers, and acquaintances have observed about me. Why are your posts so fueled with anger? Why are you so sure that all younger women are these awful attention-whoring drama queens you described? That seems rather ageist, to coin one of your favourite terms. Your post centered around this idea that younger women create needless drama, whine, bitch, moan, and complain in order to get what they want out of men. I'm telling you point blank that that isn't true, and I'd think an intelligent person such as yourself could see the pure lunacy in making such a blanket statement about an entire age group. My post had nothing to do with how men view me. I'm not sure where I'll be in ten years. But I know I'll still love myself, as well as those older and younger than me who deserve it, the same way I do now.
RedRobin Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 RR, you're having a bad day, I can tell. This is advice I'd give to any young woman who is misguided enough to think the guy is attracted to her uncanny maturity. That's hilarious. Traded up, did ya? Good for you!
kaylan Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 RU kidding- ? Older guys def don't want sex as bad as a 20 something...and that is one of the reasons girls like older guys- cuz they have more dimensions to them than just having/getting sex (of course young pervs with no game just become ol pervs with no game who never got any so yes, they do possibly get even more desperate w age)... But a guy who did well with the ladies in his 20s does even better with them as he ages (and I hope I don't hafta explain why that is) - if he stays in shape and keeps growing his career, social circle etc). Hey b4 you just fire back- keep in mind that this is a good thing for (the desireable) guys! Who said they wanted sex as much as a 20 something. I said they chased younger women for her looks and the sexual validation. Read with comprehension sir. Dont even try and pretend many guys dont date younger women just for the "ive still got it" validation and for sex. A simple look at forums for men shows this is true. 1
RedRobin Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 How does that have anything to do with my post? I'm not going simply by what men tell me; friends, boyfriends, or otherwise. I'm going by what I know about myself, and from what my co-workers, peers, and acquaintances have observed about me. Why are your posts so fueled with anger? Why are you so sure that all younger women are these awful attention-whoring drama queens you described? That seems rather ageist, to coin one of your favourite terms. Your post centered around this idea that younger women create needless drama, whine, bitch, moan, and complain in order to get what they want out of men. I'm telling you point blank that that isn't true, and I'd think an intelligent person such as yourself could see the pure lunacy in making such a blanket statement about an entire age group. My post had nothing to do with how men view me. I'm not sure where I'll be in ten years. But I know I'll still love myself, as well as those older and younger than me who deserve it, the same way I do now. ok. Just passing on some wisdom, GF. There is no anger in it. Just an observation.
kaylan Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 This is advice I'd give to any young woman who is misguided enough to think the guy is attracted to her uncanny maturity. That's hilarious. Traded up, did ya? Good for you! Lol...if it was about maturity hed be with a chick his age. A big component is the sexual side and valuing her looks. Lets not pretend older men and women dont do this to younger folks. If I bed a 33 year old woman, Im not gonna thinks its cause Im super mature. Im gonna know its prolly cus I have a tight young chocolate body lmao It is what it is though.
FitChick Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 ... young women... Sometimes they have to pay off those credit cards. You mean like this "couple?"
The Blue Knight Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 My last boyfriend was 11 years older than me (3 year relationship), my current one is 7 years older (been together for almost a year). Prior to that I dated guys around my age. Honestly most of the guys who approach me are in their 30's (I'm 24). Which is fine, as long as they're attractive and take care of themselves. I find my current boyfriend at 31 extremely attractive...he looks his age, but he stays fit, is tall and muscular, and has a handsome face. If I were single and out and about and some 20-something guy approached me, I wouldn't turn him down. I don't specifically seek out guys who are older. They're just the ones I've gotten along with well. The fact that they tend to be more experienced, established, and stable is a bonus to be sure, but I'm not denying that those properties exist within my age group. As for the "daddy issue" thing, those women are out there; absolutely. But to make a blanket statement like that about any woman who chooses to date an older guy seems equivalent to calling a guy who dates younger ladies a "creep" or "pedophile." Younger guys posting about the "daddy issue" in blanket statements is ludicrous and I'll agree with KandMU. The fact is sure, there are sugar daddy types, gold diggers, and women who had poor self-images with their father growing up and now are trying to find him in an older man to date. But those are few and far between. My experience is that some women just prefer men who are more stable and set. They've had their share of guys who can't act their ages and don't know what they want in life. These women simply prefer the stability and the security that comes with an older man. Not that those things replace love / desire / attraction / etc . . . but they do supplement them considerably. 2
The Blue Knight Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Some older men like younger women because some younger women are gullible and easily impressed. You don't have to try too hard with younger women... except for their drama. Always whining about how 'fat' they are or asking the guy "does my butt look too big in this?". Better make sure they have the right answer to THAT one, or it's no sex for the guy!! When they go out, it's endless questions like "Why did you talk to that girl??!!" Silly things like that. Younger women have LOTS of drama... but older men don't mind because they can tell all their friends they have a younger girlfriend, and that is what is most important to them. Who cares what they have to put up with at home? As long as their friends are impressed, that is all that matters. Besides, when the woman starts to show her age, he can always dump her for a younger model. No biggie. Probably a grain of truth there RR. Men are more status-orientated and a younger woman on his arm is a sign of sexual prowess in the minds of older men.
FrustratedStandards Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 You mean like this "couple?" Hey, every old rich man is aware that a young girl will use him for money. They aren't stupid. And if money brings the young ladies, then so be it. This whole money in exchange for sex thing seemed to work for both people. So I say why not?
danny in van Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Who said they wanted sex as much as a 20 something. I said they chased younger women for her looks and the sexual validation. Read with comprehension sir. Dont even try and pretend many guys dont date younger women just for the "ive still got it" validation and for sex. A simple look at forums for men shows this is true. you wrote "Plus we know the older dudes just wanted to "get it in". I'm pretty sure this is implying they wanna do so more than younger guys hitting on the same girls no? And why do some older guys go after (and get) younger girls? Simple answer coming from an older guy - cuz they can !! Validation? haha -just another thing some veterans have on the youth: I been 'validated' plenty thx! The experiment has been well and positively concluded!
FrustratedStandards Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Probably a grain of truth there RR. Men are more status-orientated and a younger woman on his arm is a sign of sexual prowess in the minds of older men. Agreed. Most of the time a beautiful woman only raises his "status" and it's a sign of sexual prowess in ALL people, I would say. If I see an ugly guy with a beautiful girl, I always think "wow, he must have something most guys don't".
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Lol...if it was about maturity hed be with a chick his age. A big component is the sexual side and valuing her looks. Lets not pretend older men and women dont do this to younger folks. If I bed a 33 year old woman, Im not gonna thinks its cause Im super mature. Im gonna know its prolly cus I have a tight young chocolate body lmao It is what it is though. There is a bit of a difference between "bedding" and "having a successful relationship with." Of course physical attraction plays a big part, as it does in any relationship. I assume my boyfriend is attracted to me and I wouldn't have it any other way. But the relationship continues beyond "bedding" because our emotional and mental characteristics are in harmony. We are compatible. I won't make any assumptions about maturity because I don't necessarily think that's key. I think the key is just that we're compatible, whether that makes me mature, or him less mature, or somewhere in the middle. My boyfriend's ex was a year older than him, and they likely would have married had she not cheated on him. So, no, I don't think he just makes a habit out of hunting down the youngins. Then again, we are only 7 years apart. Move up to a bigger age difference (10-15+ years) and I tend to agree that the potential for complete compatibility is lower; albeit possible. I also know guys in their 20's who prefer to date women in their 30's. Not just in a "casual sex" sense either. Don't get why this is such a big deal, really.
angie2443 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I just don't see that many young women who want way older men. What I see all around me is a 0-5 year differance between couples. Yes, the man is usually the older one, but not by 10 to 20 years. Most older men in our neighborhood (middle class) are not making the big bucks it takes to get a much younger woman. When I do see a large age differance between couples, there is always some sort of trade off. The younger one has less money, weighs more than what is generally considered attractive, or has a mental illness of some sort. I mean no offence to the younger person in these situations. I know many warm, intelligent, good people who have something about them that reduces their value in the dating market. When this happens, they often go for the older man because the older man accepts their problems in exchange for their youth. 1
RedRobin Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I know many warm, intelligent, good people who have something about them that reduces their value in the dating market. When this happens, they often go for the older man because the older man accepts their problems in exchange for their youth. Bingo!!!!!!
FitChick Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Hey, every old rich man is aware that a young girl will use him for money. They aren't stupid. And if money brings the young ladies, then so be it. This whole money in exchange for sex thing seemed to work for both people. So I say why not? I agree. Prostitution should be legalized. That photo, by the way, is one reason I don't date older men. Most of them look like that or like that and bald. I don't care how rich they are, I couldn't sleep with a body like that. So much for men aging better than women, huh?
The Blue Knight Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 This is advice I'd give to any young woman who is misguided enough to think the guy is attracted to her uncanny maturity. That's hilarious. Traded up, did ya? Good for you! Well, more like the ex-wife attempted to trade up. That being said, all it takes is one bad experience over a few years time with a former spouse and ALWAYS trying to keep up with her demanding personality to make her happy. Then suddenly, concepts that alluded you when you were younger such as low maintenance vs. the previous high maintenance become logical considerations going into the second serious relationship. Any guy who spent a few years in a high maintenance relationship with a woman will tell you that you end up reweighing the things that are important the next time around.
kaylan Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 you wrote "Plus we know the older dudes just wanted to "get it in". I'm pretty sure this is implying they wanna do so more than younger guys hitting on the same girls no? And why do some older guys go after (and get) younger girls? Simple answer coming from an older guy - cuz they can !! Validation? haha -just another thing some veterans have on the youth: I been 'validated' plenty thx! The experiment has been well and positively concluded! No...I was saying they have as much desire for sex with younger women as the younger guys will have. Basically, that a woman shouldnt a assume an older man will be less prone to using her for sex. From what I have seen some are more prone to it simple because she feels a sexual role, not a companionship role. And puh lease...older guys love getting props from their buddies for bagging a younger chick. Ive seen it, so gimme a break. But it doesnt happen enough where it becomes something you "veterans have on the youth". Last time I checked, whenever I go out, you older dudes arent much competition to us younger guys. And most chicks look at you as creepy when youre 35 and in a bar full of early and mid 20s folks. 2
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I just don't see that many young women who want way older men. What I see all around me is a 0-5 year differance between couples. Yes, the man is usually the older one, but not by 10 to 20 years. Most older men in our neighborhood (middle class) are not making the big bucks it takes to get a much younger woman. When I do see a large age differance between couples, there is always some sort of trade off. The younger one has less money, weighs more than what is generally considered attractive, or has a mental illness of some sort. I mean no offence to the younger person in these situations. I know many warm, intelligent, good people who have something about them that reduces their value in the dating market. When this happens, they often go for the older man because the older man accepts their problems in exchange for their youth. I agree with you for a good chunk of relationships with a significant (~10-15+ years) age gap.
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