blackdiamond28 Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Now to recap you guys I wrote earlier this week How I was not too sure if my man was seeing this girl named SHEREE behind my back because she is a friend to the group of guys that my boyfriend hangs around. Now mind you this girl sleeps over some of the guy's houses and their girlfriend doesn't know about it and she comes to the club dancing with everybody's man. I think she has a motive. SHe is very attractive and I am sure that all the guys INCLUDING my man is attracted to her. Now this is where I have a problem. In the past she has called my man ( and the explanation was because everyone was raising money to help get one of the friends that are in this group car out of the pound and SHE CLAIM she was calling my man to tell him that she wil give 50.00 to help out. WHen I called her from his cell phone to confront her she said that that was all it was. NOW I came across her number weeks later and my boyfriend had it under the name MRS REE. how stupid. ANyway I noticed last night that she called in the afternoon at 2:41pm when I checked the "received numbers" in his call log. Now I decided to take the sweet and kind approach and I talked to my man about us having friends but in a sweet way because most men when you come across not accusing them of anything they will listen more. So when I let him know that I know that him and her are friends he said to me yes they are friends and that he would never cheat on me and jeapordize what we have blah blah blah. NOw his reason for talking to her now is to help him get into Gweynedd Mercy college which she goes to and she trying to help him get in. DUH? That is what counselors are for. This Bitch is being sneaky. Why would she be helping him get in school? next she going to be helping her to some sex. She is trying to find a way to get in good if you ask me. My sister told me to just let him know how I feel but I really want to call her and tell her to stop calling my man she is being triflin. I don't want him to resent me and I am not trying to push him closer into her arms because I see what she is trying to do. Now I have the password to his voicemail and lately I have come up with nothing but if they are messing around it will come out and God knows I am going to put a ass whipping on this girl like you would not believe if this is found to be true. AND I know you are asking yourself what does that prove? NOT A DAMN THING but it will make me feel better that's all. What should I do in this case? I need advice?
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 First of all, stop scape goating your anger onto this other woman. You and your boyfriend will always encounter outside advances from the opposite sex no matter who it’s from or how long the two of you are together. It’s a fact of life, and unless you lock yourselves inside and never expose yourselves to the outside world, you will never be able to avoid it. If it isn’t this girl, it will be someone else later on down the road. It’s your boyfriend who’s been keeping secrets from you. It’s HIS behavior that’s shady. You would never even have to consider “putting an ayas whoopin’” on this girl if your boyfriend had done his part. If you think your boyfriend’s weak enough to succumb to temptation without your intervention…then you’re with the wrong guy. If he doesn’t have enough respect for you and your relationship to deflect another girl’s advances…then you’re with the wrong guy. If you can’t trust him to be honest and up-front with you; if he lies by omission…then you’re with the wrong guy. If the only way to keep him is by killing off all your competition…then you’re with the wrong guy. If his actions and behavior cause suspicion and leave you questioning the security of your relationship…then you’re with the wrong guy. If he doesn’t make you feel special; as if you are the only woman in the world (by actions not words)…then you’re with the wrong guy.
Debster Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 This Bitch is being sneaky. How can you write this when you admit to checking his voicemail and call log? Get a grip! He is your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean he can't have female friends. You have no right getting all in a snit about it and definitely should not call/harrass her. Granted, if they had fooled around in the past it might give you a little bit more of a right to make a comment - but it doesn't appear the be the case here. You are showing a controlling side to your personality that appears to be based on low self-esteem. I think you need to get this under control before you lose him or decide that he is not the right guy for you.
Author blackdiamond28 Posted June 10, 2004 Author Posted June 10, 2004 Let me repsond to Debster by saying that low seld esteem is far from what I have. And if you have been in any kind of a relationship I don't think any woman (intelligent woman with some good sense that is) want her man to be friends with a woman is sneaky. I totally don't mind him having friends BUT it is a way you do things. If they are friends then she is welcome to call the house openly NOT ON HIS CELL PHONE and the number is undera coded name called MRS REE. Her name is SHEREE. That is the first thing. ANd I am far far far from controlling because grant it if this was a flipped situation MY BOYFRIEND WOULD BE MAD JEALOUS. When you start changinf your patterns and acting sneaky that is what makes me raise a eyebrow but if it was kept real to me then I would have no problem. And as far as controlling goes I don't have to be controlling to TAKE CONTROL of the situation befor it gets outta hand sweety! That's called keeping your eyes wide open.
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