somedude81 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Anybody else feel good when they are around people of the opposite sex and feel down when they haven't been for a while? The times I felt the happiest were when I was with one or more girls and just feeling good being around and joking with them. It's been a while since I've had that and I just feel sh*tty. I'm wonder if this is something that everybody experiences or if it's just me. Of course, most people have a mixed group of friends, or an opposite sex partner so they don't have to experience going without.
Author somedude81 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Feel bad for all them prisoners. Nah, prisoners have a way to make up for it...
Bob_Funk Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I feel worse when I'm around attractive girls. There's nothing fun about having a nice, big juicy steak dangled in front of you while you're starving. 1
FitChick Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I feel worse when I'm around attractive girls. There's nothing fun about having a nice, big juicy steak dangled in front of you while you're starving. Eat a salad. 2
Author somedude81 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Eat a salad. Man can't live on bread grass alone.
PI777 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 It 's definitely good having beautiful woman around you. Just dont come across as desperate and they may take an interest in you.
Teknoe Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Anybody else feel good when they are around people of the opposite sex and feel down when they haven't been for a while? The times I felt the happiest were when I was with one or more girls and just feeling good being around and joking with them. It's been a while since I've had that and I just feel sh*tty. I'm wonder if this is something that everybody experiences or if it's just me. Of course, most people have a mixed group of friends, or an opposite sex partner so they don't have to experience going without. You told LS before that your parents divorced when you were 3 and that your mom was a very hard woman to please. I think there's a correlation between your mom never giving you the kind of attention/love you desired growing up with how you view the opposite sex today. Just an educated guess that those two things are at least somewhat correlated. Just like you, I love being around girls. Heck, last Sunday I had lunch with 5 women in their late 20s. Two were average 5/10 looking, but the other three were easy solid 7-8/10 types. Guess how much I enjoyed that lunch... I was the only guy there too. Be careful though that you don't get too girl-centric. A guy needs to be around guys, too. Most girls see guys who don't have any guy friends, or if he has trouble relating to men around his age, as a significant red flag. I didn't create the rules. But it's true. Most women are looking for confident, stable, well-rounded guys. If you have trouble making or keeping friends (of the same sex), then that DOES say some things about your personality. It took me some years to get it, but now I don't *HAVE* to be around girls to feel good about myself. Since you do, it's safe to say (plus based on your post history) you are still struggling with co-dependency issues. You put "getting a girlfriend" on a pedestal. It's actually hurting your chances. Irony.
Nightsky Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 To me the opposite sex is very important. Women are just beautiful and sexy. Nothing like totaly having your way one you like/love. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and acting like you burned your dick off in a fire. Go do something about it!
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I can understand how never being around women can leave everything feeling somewhat drab and unenthusiastic. Women make a lot of things better, more enjoyable at least. And a lot of times they make you better as a man. They have a different way of looking at things, they can be sweet and endearing, expressive, intelligent, interesting, beautiful (not just physically - in their own right) all at the same time, they have these moments usually when they're not even paying attention where they just are phenomenal...the list goes on and on, they just bring in a different element that isn't there when they are not. So I can imagine not being around that ever, really starts to bring you down. I have the opposite problem of you however, I try to avoid them as I tend to find myself easily entangled in another romance and then I lose myself in it, and that guy I do not trust and have complete control over...he's too indulgent, affectionate and passionate in his ways. And an ultimate fear of hurting someone in that process. Anyway, It's more complex and I'm not even sure why I'm talking about it in this post other than to say that, while I'm running for the hills you're..well not running...but seem like you're kinda waiting for them to come to you. The company of a woman is something you need to experience and enjoy. I hope that you will try to build your confidence, your essence as a man, your true individuality, not question yourself so much but just go for it when it feels right and ultimately be more aggressive in your pursuits, however that just means to engage when necessary. And to not give up and be much less self-defeating, there are a lot of women out there just looking for a one good guy, not because he makes a million dollars, has the greatest job, or the best looks, but because he's willing to love her and accept her for who she is...and has a backbone when needed , not necessarily an ******* or a jerk. Finding yourself as a man will lead women to see what you have found within yourself. They will be attracted to you, not because you are trying to be anything in a chick flick or on a brochure but because you know who you are and what you need and want. Self-aware and confident of that and you know what you're about, and that gives you appeal. A lot of women If not most are willing to give a guy a chance that they weren't all that attracted to initially or even interested in If they feel he has something to offer, something more to him. You think only super models and playboys get the girls? What about the rest of the population? most of them just being average height, income, looks guys. But you're not going to achieve that and putting yourself down, you're not going to figure out what you're capable of If you don't even give yourself a shot, because you don't believe in yourself. If you put in the effort to get your **** together and create the best looking, most confident you, It's gonna pay off. You're not going to have to just sit there and reflect on these small moments of interaction with women....yes, you can kiss them, yes you can hold them and yes, they can fall for you. From what I see from your posts, you need to develop that so you can change your overall mentality, no woman is going to be attracted to that If you always talk in a depressed and self-defeating manner. 4
ThaWholigan Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I can understand how never being around women can leave everything feeling somewhat drab and unenthusiastic. Women make a lot of things better, more enjoyable at least. And a lot of times they make you better as a man. They have a different way of looking at things, they can be sweet and endearing, expressive, intelligent, interesting, beautiful (not just physically - in their own right) all at the same time, they have these moments usually when they're not even paying attention where they just are phenomenal...the list goes on and on, they just bring in a different element that isn't there when they are not. So I can imagine not being around that ever, really starts to bring you down. I have the opposite problem of you however, I try to avoid them as I tend to find myself easily entangled in another romance and then I lose myself in it, and that guy I do not trust and have complete control over...he's too indulgent, affectionate and passionate in his ways. And an ultimate fear of hurting someone in that process. Anyway, It's more complex and I'm not even sure why I'm talking about it in this post other than to say that, while I'm running for the hills you're..well not running...but seem like you're kinda waiting for them to come to you. The company of a woman is something you need to experience and enjoy. I hope that you will try to build your confidence, your essence as a man, your true individuality, not question yourself so much but just go for it when it feels right and ultimately be more aggressive in your pursuits, however that just means to engage when necessary. And to not give up and be much less self-defeating, there are a lot of women out there just looking for a one good guy, not because he makes a million dollars, has the greatest job, or the best looks, but because he's willing to love her and accept her for who she is...and has a backbone when needed , not necessarily an ******* or a jerk. Finding yourself as a man will lead women to see what you have found within yourself. They will be attracted to you, not because you are trying to be anything in a chick flick or on a brochure but because you know who you are and what you need and want. Self-aware and confident of that and you know what you're about, and that gives you appeal. A lot of women If not most are willing to give a guy a chance that they weren't all that attracted to initially or even interested in If they feel he has something to offer, something more to him. You think only super models and playboys get the girls? What about the rest of the population? most of them just being average height, income, looks guys. But you're not going to achieve that and putting yourself down, you're not going to figure out what you're capable of If you don't even give yourself a shot, because you don't believe in yourself. If you put in the effort to get your **** together and create the best looking, most confident you, It's gonna pay off. You're not going to have to just sit there and reflect on these small moments of interaction with women....yes, you can kiss them, yes you can hold them and yes, they can fall for you. From what I see from your posts, you need to develop that so you can change your overall mentality, no woman is going to be attracted to that If you always talk in a depressed and self-defeating manner. To echo this statement, I also think you should find a mentor or at least a male role model to look up to of some sort. It might be a longshot, but it's something.
Anela Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Man can't live on bread grass alone. Women are expected to, whether it's figuratively speaking, and they've been told they aren't good enough, or you're being literal and they're avoiding fattening foods and knocking themselves out, to be attractive enough to hold onto them or at least catch their eye.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Nah, prisoners have a way to make up for it... That "way" is available to the unincarcerated man as well, you know. 1
AD1980 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 ehh it kinda gets me more depressed seeing women im attracted to who i know arent attracted to me I dont want to be reminded of what i cant have 1
verhrzn Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I've actually discovered I'm happier when not around unattached men. I have plenty of male friends, but I'm a lot happier around them when they have a girlfriend/wife. They cease being "guys" and become more individuals, and I see them more like I see my female friends. I become more comfortable and open around them. Being around unattached guys, though, even my guy friends, makes me feel insecure and deeply unhappy, especially since the topic of conversation around the guy is often why hot women don't like them, and how hot Girl A/Actress B/Comic Girl C is. I end up shutting down or becoming upset. So, I apparently only enjoy being around the opposite sex when I forget they are guys. But I'm also a bit of a misanthrope, so grain of salt.
AD1980 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I've actually discovered I'm happier when not around unattached men. I have plenty of male friends, but I'm a lot happier around them when they have a girlfriend/wife. They cease being "guys" and become more individuals, and I see them more like I see my female friends. I become more comfortable and open around them. Being around unattached guys, though, even my guy friends, makes me feel insecure and deeply unhappy, especially since the topic of conversation around the guy is often why hot women don't like them, and how hot Girl A/Actress B/Comic Girl C is. I end up shutting down or becoming upset. So, I apparently only enjoy being around the opposite sex when I forget they are guys. But I'm also a bit of a misanthrope, so grain of salt. Same here..When im aorund my friends wives a few are like sisters to me and they gave a different support/ energy male friends cant.. Being around single women who end up showing interest in one of my good looking friends not me just gets me more down..
Els Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) I've actually discovered I'm happier when not around unattached men. I have plenty of male friends, but I'm a lot happier around them when they have a girlfriend/wife. They cease being "guys" and become more individuals, and I see them more like I see my female friends. I become more comfortable and open around them. Being around unattached guys, though, even my guy friends, makes me feel insecure and deeply unhappy, especially since the topic of conversation around the guy is often why hot women don't like them, and how hot Girl A/Actress B/Comic Girl C is. I end up shutting down or becoming upset. So, I apparently only enjoy being around the opposite sex when I forget they are guys. But I'm also a bit of a misanthrope, so grain of salt. I used to find that the case too - my closest platonic male friends are those who have gfs. I have a different theory for this though. The guys who are more mature, level-headed, and ultimately more enjoyable to interact with as a woman (as opposed to 'OMG ACTRESS B IS SOOO HAWT, I JUST WANNA FSCK HER RIGHT NOW'), are oftentimes more likely to be in relationships than the guys who aren't. Of course, there are a few exceptions to the rule, but it does seem to be often the case. Edited March 15, 2012 by Elswyth
Feelin Frisky Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Anybody else feel good when they are around people of the opposite sex and feel down when they haven't been for a while? The times I felt the happiest were when I was with one or more girls and just feeling good being around and joking with them. It's been a while since I've had that and I just feel sh*tty. I'm wonder if this is something that everybody experiences or if it's just me. Of course, most people have a mixed group of friends, or an opposite sex partner so they don't have to experience going without. It always depends on who they are. I was around someone yesterday who just babbled about stuff she had no clue about and I couldn't get away fast enough. She was one of these people who never had a weight problem who insists that my current diet is wrong because it doesn't include "fun" and "pleasure foods". I hate that. Of course food is fun and pleasurable, that's why I have an addiction to it and am overweight. I am only successful when I take the pleasure out of the equation, plan all my meals, and eat just to live instead of living to eat. It's working and now in my third week of living on almost no carbs I have almost no appetite--EVER. I feel great and it shows. She also tried to give me some lame brain stuff about food and "spirituality" and I resented it--although playing it cool and yessing her. She made no time for me to speak nor could she consider that I was capable of talking on a level of knowledge equal to hers (much less greater). Oye vey what a bore.
Nightsky Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 It always depends on who they are. I was around someone yesterday who just babbled about stuff she had no clue about and I couldn't get away fast enough. She was one of these people who never had a weight problem who insists that my current diet is wrong because it doesn't include "fun" and "pleasure foods". I hate that. Of course food is fun and pleasurable, that's why I have an addiction to it and am overweight. I am only successful when I take the pleasure out of the equation, plan all my meals, and eat just to live instead of living to eat. It's working and now in my third week of living on almost no carbs I have almost no appetite--EVER. I feel great and it shows. She also tried to give me some lame brain stuff about food and "spirituality" and I resented it--although playing it cool and yessing her. She made no time for me to speak nor could she consider that I was capable of talking on a level of knowledge equal to hers (much less greater). Oye vey what a bore. As usual we disagree on everything. The eat to live model is proven to make people fat. You really should rethink your positions. Also you've misunderstood the OP just as you misunderstand politics thinking Obama is the lesser of two evils. I mean if you spot the guy to be evil why vote for him?
Eclypse Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I can see what you mean. I enjoy the company of women a lot and flirtatious banter always makes me feel good about myself (even when I have a girlfriend). Where I work the guy:girl ratio is around 1:5 or thereabouts. I love being there!
SomewhatExperienced Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I certainly need to have normal interaction with women (I'm a guy). In fact, I often find it easier to make friendships with women more than men (my age at least). I'll note, I took a university course on sexual health a little while ago with a terrific professor and she was talking about testosterone levels in men and sense of well-being. She told us it's been observed in older men with declining testosterone levels that even talking to an attractive woman for a few minutes will give a hormone boost. Interesting.
RedRobin Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I've actually discovered I'm happier when not around unattached men. I have plenty of male friends, but I'm a lot happier around them when they have a girlfriend/wife. They cease being "guys" and become more individuals, and I see them more like I see my female friends. I become more comfortable and open around them. Being around unattached guys, though, even my guy friends, makes me feel insecure and deeply unhappy, especially since the topic of conversation around the guy is often why hot women don't like them, and how hot Girl A/Actress B/Comic Girl C is. I end up shutting down or becoming upset. So, I apparently only enjoy being around the opposite sex when I forget they are guys. But I'm also a bit of a misanthrope, so grain of salt. It gets better, Verhzn. It's also quite possible that these guys are nervous around you and that is how they are dealing with it. Not like you have to fix that for them... Whatever their deal is has nothing to do with you. If they can't learn how to make polite conversation about things that interest both of you, that makes them BORING and not someone to continue hanging out with. They should be picking up on your discomfort and change the subject. You could also change the subject to something that doesn't involve talking about other women.
jobaba Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) Anybody else feel good when they are around people of the opposite sex and feel down when they haven't been for a while? The times I felt the happiest were when I was with one or more girls and just feeling good being around and joking with them. It's been a while since I've had that and I just feel sh*tty. I'm wonder if this is something that everybody experiences or if it's just me. Of course, most people have a mixed group of friends, or an opposite sex partner so they don't have to experience going without. Ever since college, I've always had female friends. Either romantic interests (with the emphasis on interest), just friends, or girlfriends and wives of buddies. It does introduce a different dynamic into the fold. You can talk about relationships in a different light, talk about different subjects, and just generally share a different type of connection. Especially if you're a more contemplative, introspective, sensitive type of dude, female friends are often easier to be open with. People who just want their set of same sex friends and a significant other and no friends of the opposite sex puzzle me. I'd say three of my top five friends are females (threw my sister in there). I've considered making them grooms(people) when or if ever I get hitched. But I'm not sure how that would work... Edited March 16, 2012 by jobaba
Author somedude81 Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Hmm, I wonder if I should actually go out and try to make platonic female friends. I just don't know if I can control falling for them at this point. I certainly don't want to go though that again. I certainly need to have normal interaction with women (I'm a guy). In fact, I often find it easier to make friendships with women more than men (my age at least). I'll note, I took a university course on sexual health a little while ago with a terrific professor and she was talking about testosterone levels in men and sense of well-being. She told us it's been observed in older men with declining testosterone levels that even talking to an attractive woman for a few minutes will give a hormone boost. Interesting. Yeah that is pretty interesting. Ever since college, I've always had female friends. Either romantic interests (with the emphasis on interest), just friends, or girlfriends and wives of buddies. It does introduce a different dynamic into the fold. You can talk about relationships in a different light, talk about different subjects, and just generally share a different type of connection. Especially if you're a more contemplative, introspective, sensitive type of dude, female friends are often easier to be open with. I miss having female friends. People who just want their set of same sex friends and a significant other and no friends of the opposite sex puzzle me. Yeah that doesn't make any sense to me. I would love to have a GF and a bunch of platonic female friends. I've always been kind of jealous of Tuxedo Mask and not because his cane extends.
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