FOXROX Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I recently signed up with an online dating site for the first time since being single for 6 months. I have been out with three guys from the site. The first two looked NOTHING like their profile. I didn't even recognize them! The third guy I went out with was a total connection! Perfect match! He is EVERYTHING I am looking for and claims the same about me! After he found me and after meeting, it was amazing! He was so complementary and was overly affectionate...a pure gentleman! He is also new to online dating. After the first date, he text and called and wanted to take me out again the next night. It was even more amazing! He has been texting me, however I went online to show a friend his pictures and he was "Online". I was a bit embarrassed. I know him and I are not "together" yet but I hid my profile because I found exactly what I have always wanted. Since then, I have gone on and is almost always "Online". Should I bring this up to him?! Am I over reacting or do I have a reason to be concerned??
DontWorryBHappy Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Aww, I understand the urge to want to put your all into one guy when you really like him, but the world of online dating is tricky. I met someone from online a while ago, and he was extremely into me (moreso than I was into him) but he still kept going on the dating site, and I did too. To be honest I WAS still looking around.. I mean I liked him but wasn't sure he was it for me (and it turned out he wasn't). In my case the guy was more invested than I was so I wouldn't have been surprised if he was hopping on there to see if I was on there too. But the guy you're seeing could be like I was, looking at other potentials. I'd advice you to quickly put this in perspective. You guys aren't a couple, and despite how awesome he was on the date, he may not view you as the girl he wants to take down his profile for. Don't be sad about that possibility.. Just embrace all your opportunities. He may realize you are the girl for him and you'll know that if commitment comes into the equation, or he won't. Don't overthink it.. tell yourself that you're just having a good time.
Author FOXROX Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Thank you! Yes, I am probably thinking too much. I am just so new to online dating and the fact that I am open and honest probably doesn't help either. I want to trust that what others tell me is true. I don't like the games but guys do. They don't want anyone who shows too much interest but they don't want someone who constantly ignores them either. I guess I just need to find an even balance. He just text me and I guess I'm not going to answer lol. Keep him wondering so we can continue to "play".
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Yeah don't be a fool FOXROX, you don't know a damn thing about who this guy is. Just because you had a few awesome dates, while very promising does not in any way mean he felt the same way or was just putting on an act and acting on his best and most charming behavior. You always need to realize that this person you are JUST meeting is totally focused on you right now, It's totally new, interesting and engaging, you've never met before...It's easy to get all giddy and think what this might lead to and all that crap but slap yourself with a little bit of a reality check because If you just go based on how a guy is on the first few days you're going to have your head stuck up your ass for the rest of the time because you are all washed over with this glaze of infatuation. Who this guy is on a normal day of the week, what is true values, morals and compatibilities are with you are still to be determined. None of this **** is really getting enough air time because you're all into the guy for honestly what really doesn't say a whole lot about him other than he knows how to act respectably and be a gentlemen on a few days, and that's all the credit you should give him because really it's not worth a whole lot and doesn't say a whole lot, definitely not worth it's weight in gold so to speak. So anyway, I'm not trying to give you a buzz kill but seriously, slow your roll, let yourself wrap your head around this, If you shotgun this and he turns out to be a douchebag you're going to be left all confused and distraught and hate online dating. Keep your head on straight and from going loco with any guy, trust me, I'm a guy...some of us know what we're doing, and do it very well! Doesn't mean that every guy is genuine in that. The fact that he's still online likely means he's still talking to other women, likely going on other dates and hasn't flipped out and deleted his account for a mere two dates. I know you like to see the truth and and trust people, but I hope you know how to see through the smoke and mirrors and fall for the "magic"...I hope you use some common sense in this equation, or I can tell you that you're going to be extremely vulnerable to a lot of guys, the guys who are players are not the fools, they're the ones who know exactly what they are doing, and come off the most charming and over the top. And 6 months after a relationship you're out there dating? yikes, hopefully it wasn't long and you're over it, or you're very vulnerable to a rebound relationship, where you want to believe in the all the stars aligning for "true romance"....ah well, women will be women. Just do your best to take it one step at a time instead of diving in, just a tiny bit? itty bitty? ok, nevermind! 1
Star Gazer Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 How many dates have you even been on? It sounds like only one?
DontWorryBHappy Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Well I also wouldn't advise getting into those little games, like "I'm not going to answer this text to keep him guessing." I'd advise you to be yourself. Do you think you would be paranoid if you texted him and he didn't respond? If you would be, then I wouldn't try that yourself.
CarrieT Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I went online to show a friend his pictures and he was "Online". I was a bit embarrassed. I know him and I are not "together" yet but I hid my profile because I found exactly what I have always wanted. Since then, I have gone on and is almost always "Online". Guess what? You go "Online" and he can see that you are "Online" as well! He might be thinking the same thing about you... Yep - you are over thinking. When you have been a couple for a few months and see him "Online" then it is time to question his motives. But not after just a few dates.
zengirl Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 How many dates have you even been on? It sounds like only one? I can't tell either, but it's at least 2. Anyway, yes, OP, it's fine that he still be online at that time, I'd say. Let this develop naturally---it either will or it won't. Amazing dates are good signs, but it's too early to tell.
kassy Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 After good dates I go online on purpose to remind myself that there are others out there and not to get carried away in my head about this person yet, they are still a stranger. while I chat to others I only date one guy at a time though. I can't multi-task. Don't read into it, you don't know what he's thinking but you'll find out soon enough. Best of luck:)
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