redrose123 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 It's been almost a month and I feel like I'm making no progress. I cry every night. I feel so lonely. My ex made sure I had no friends other than him and now that he's walked away from me I have nobody. I found out he was out with friends yesterday and it really hurt because he never made Time for me during the week always claiming he was busy With schoolwork. It hurts to know he's just moving on and seems fine without me. Deep down I know he wasn't right for me but I just can't stop crying because he was my best friend and I'm just so lonely. I just want to call him and ask him how its been so easy for him to forget about me. I know i wasnt perfecy buy i dont think i did anything to make him not want to be with me and i just want answers. This sucks!!!
sweetheart5381 Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Dont feel bad... am sorta in the same boat. Moved out of my home city to be closer to work, bout 100 km away. When I moved here I didnt really know anyone, just my now ex-bf. I thought of him as a best friend too. Confided in him, trusted him completely. My ex never made time for me either, even after I moved to his city (for work, but I thought he would want to see me more too). I actually saw him more when we were 100 km apart. Don't call him... dont give him the ego boost, doesnt sound like he needs it imo. Sometimes there arent any answers, am sorry to say. You may never get them, doesnt mean you dont deserve them AND it doesnt mean that you need them. Stay strong... you will be ok.
zanzi Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 story of my last three breakups! Iv'e been going through the same thing. Its was worst at night. You crave them, like a drug. I'm sorry for how much pain he caused you, well more the end of a relationship that you felt you needed for the closeness or social aspect. -But there is your problem, youv'e recognized it. You need support right now. You need to reach out to people, your family if you really dont think you have friends. But Im sure at least one or two people consider you their friend. You need to stop the focus on one person, and put it on people who are going to be good to you, not rude, disrepectful, or cold. Dont hold out hope for someone who has given up on you, anyone who would do that doesnt deserve to know you.
Linda Lee Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 The first thing that you should do, in order to get rid of the pain, is to get rid of his pics. Delete all those photographs in your computer or mobile phone, where the two of you are looking happy together. Even get rid of those that have him standing alone, looking so handsome.Surround yourself with people who love you, be it your friends ( if you don't have friends, then make new ones, go out and socialize with others, it is of a great benefits to your mood), family members or even your pet dog. Though they will not be able to replace him entirely, you will feel fortunate at having the love of so many people, a love that is unconditional and pure. Don't start going over the breakup time and again, mulling what went wrong and how did you two drift apart. Accept the fact that you two are no longer together and move on with your life. Going back into the past is neither going to bring him back, nor ease your pain. 1
Philosoraptor Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 You said it all right there. He made sure you had no one else and left you. Now it's your time to shine. Push yourself out there a bit and reconnect with old friends and family. Join a club of some sort and make new friends that are interested in the same things that you like. You can get better if you want to get better. Do not check up on him in any way. Delete all forms of contact and pay no mind to whatever immature games he may try to play. Everyone heals in their own way. He is doing what he needs to do in order to not feel pain. You need to find your own path to healing. But the first step is truly wanting to heal. After that the path becomes clear.
BerryBum Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I kno exactly how you're feeling. I'm going through it right now. I see me ex (4 years together) go out every night with friends, I stay on my own because I know no one here. I cry myself to sleep hating the fact that he moved on so quickly!!! Did he not care about me enough for it to be this easy!!! I don't have an answer for you. I'm just living it day by day, this won't be forever. Stay strong, talk to others, reconnect with old friends, confide in them. The more people you have around you the easier it gets. The more people telling you that your ex isn't worth it, useless, that you're SO much better, the quicker you'll start believing it.
GKM Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 You will need to cry and its good to do it for a bit and get it out of your system - burying the pain isnt healthy! BUT.........set yourself a deadline (another week maybe?) and that will be the END of your moping around time! If you REALLY need to cry after that set yourself a time (like 7:30-8:00pm) and ONLY do it during this time. In your other time- get busy! You need friends. So, sit down and write a list of things you really like to do, or always wanted to do! Belly dancing, photography class, wine tasting, dancing? Join a class, volunteer, get out there! I moved to the USA from London to be with my ex and he dumped me....we shared most friends (lots of chosen ME though - ha!) but I still know I need to make more of my OWN - and I have been. I've been FORCING myself into situations I would normally be intimidated by.......and end up really having fun!! I went to a motorbike night (dont own a bike, was invited by a friend- not my usual scene- but met new people and had fun!), I did a self defense class at a Dojo and kicked ass (and have something cool to talk about with people), I am going to practise things that will up my future girlfriend skill awesomeness (pool- I currently suck, tennis, rock climbing- stuff that one day I can do together with a guy and we can both have fun! My girlfriends are joining me in this too as we want to have more skills!) Thinking of a bellydancing class so I can learn to really control my hips YOU are in charge of your life - make it an awesome one P.S. self help books can really help right now. I read 'its called a breakup not a breakdown'
gotye Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 The first thing that you should do, in order to get rid of the pain, is to get rid of his pics. Delete all those photographs in your computer or mobile phone, where the two of you are looking happy together. Even get rid of those that have him standing alone, looking so handsome.Surround yourself with people who love you, be it your friends ( if you don't have friends, then make new ones, go out and socialize with others, it is of a great benefits to your mood), family members or even your pet dog. Though they will not be able to replace him entirely, you will feel fortunate at having the love of so many people, a love that is unconditional and pure. Don't start going over the breakup time and again, mulling what went wrong and how did you two drift apart. Accept the fact that you two are no longer together and move on with your life. Going back into the past is neither going to bring him back, nor ease your pain. that is exactly what I did immediately! I contacted all my friends telling them I couldn't be alone and I got a cat! but my recommendation to OP is maybe try finding a site for meeting people? that is another thing I am doing to distract myself and talk to people. I joined OKcupid and even though I don't want to go into a serious relationship it's nice to find people are interested and nice to talk about myself and what I want with life to remind myself who I am without him
GKM Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 that is exactly what I did immediately! I contacted all my friends telling them I couldn't be alone and I got a cat! but my recommendation to OP is maybe try finding a site for meeting people? that is another thing I am doing to distract myself and talk to people. I joined OKcupid and even though I don't want to go into a serious relationship it's nice to find people are interested and nice to talk about myself and what I want with life to remind myself who I am without him I joined match.com and the overwhelming amount of interest is quite flattering A much needed ego boost after being dumped!!
Kaotic Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) It sounds like he really wasn't good for you and what he did was not right :-( I know exactly how you feel because my ex was my best friend in te world, although I still had friends. I don't know how I'd be coping without my friends right now so I really feel for you! It is so helpful to have someone to talk to who cares, knows, and understands you. Listen, if you need someone to talk to, PM me. I may be a stranger but girls have to be there for each other and things will get better :-) I'm a newbie here and just realized PM only works with premium subscriptions :-/ that is too bad. But feel free to reach out to me if you just wanna vent to someone! And I think others have given you great advice as well! I'd recommend that you look at this site names MEETUP it is NOT a dating site but a friend site it lets you find people with the same interests and you meet up in groups and do activities together (like hiking, watching movies, knitting, whatever you are into). Edited March 16, 2012 by Kaotic
BETTERFLIRT Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I do not know the reason for the living but i am sure there is something wrong that happened between you both. If you feel sorry first for the loneliness 2, because you saw him with some other girls and are so you crying means you want him back. Anyway, my advice would not be of great importance nor thing that you did not know but that you be not selfish enough to let pass the change of taking him in your arms. Call him if feeling enough confortable to otherwise find a way to capture his attention be by passing through his work, school, putting yourself more kind, such sensual, romantic, lovely anyway/were/how that he can see you. Love is forgiving. Whatever cn be the separation cause there is always hope that you can be in his life again.
gotye Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I joined match.com and the overwhelming amount of interest is quite flattering A much needed ego boost after being dumped!! haha glad I am not the only one!
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