udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Because it's obvious that person is not really in love with their partner. By your definition. Does this mean since they most likely found other people more attractive before they got into a relationship with their partner that they were not falling in love with them? Again I just don't want a woman with that mindset. Too much trouble and I refuse to be her pet cuckold. If she wants to pine for bad boy c*ck, then she needs to do it at her expense, not mine. I'm not going to have my heart out for someone who obviously doesn't like me. It was an rhetorical question in response to your claim that: No one here is claiming it to be "the end all, be all." Not sure why you stated no one when I was pretty much focused on GoodOnPaper and your insistence on being the one your partner is most attracted to. Though you stating that not being most attracted to your partner means you're not really in love with them just shows that you do think it is the end all be all. Yes it does equate to pining. Otherwise, why else would you view him as more attractive than your partner? Evidently in order to view him as better looking you'd have to be checking him out for more than a few seconds, along with comparisons. So more than a few second glance check out pining and finding them more attractive than your partner is pining okay. If it equates pining does that mean being attracted to someone else or thinking sexually of someone else is cheating? If I'm in love with you then I won't be wasting most of my time taking second glances at other attractive women. Sure I'd see them and think "oh wow, she looks like a nice woman," and then I'd go about my business without giving it a second thought. I would be focused on you and I would expect the same.[quote I never said that I expected a perfect partner. I know I won't have the perfect woman. That is an unrealistic view of relationships. You've just injected that statement into the discussion in order to prove your point. Egh..okay.. I never claimed that you were expecting a perfect partner or a perfect woman. I put that statement there to show that it's unlikely for you to be the most for your partner in certain areas. Not sure how you got relationship qualities to mean perfect woman though. To me that's more of a character and trait thing. I was talking about partner as in contributor to the relationship. I've stated similar things earlier: Recall: Most partners aren't perfect 10s in all areas one could find their friends are more emotionally intimate. You're unlikely to be the best at everything for your partner. After all you're expected to be the most attractive and the one your partner is most attracted to so essentially you're expecting to be the best for your partner attraction wise. Perhaps that's your expectation and some others expectation. Some people just expect to be attracted to their partner and for their partner to be attracted to them. I've seen many who pursue those they found most attractive however I don't hear "I need my partner to be the most attractive to me" vs "I need to be attracted to my partner". I know I won't be the perfect guy for her, and neither will she be the perfect woman for me either. Sure there will be areas where I will not meet all of her needs and vice versa, but there's nothing wrong with simply expecting love and commitment. That's all I ask for. Most people have different definitions of things for relationships which is a non issue unless it involves something illegal or abusing children/animals. Seems like you ask for love and commitment by your definition and not meeting her needs aka being the most she is attracted to means she doesn't really love you. So you can't handle not being the perfect guy for her attraction wise in the sense of being a 10/best/most attractive to her. Sorry I disagree with you. Again I'm not going to be with a woman who's been gang banged by the whole football team, slept with 20 other men, and then when we hook up she's steady thinking about other more attractive men than me. Unacceptable. Egh a gal doesn't have to be gang baned by the whole football team to be able to find other men more attractive than her partner or be more attracted to other men than her partner. Recall: I highly doubt that before getting into a relationship with their partner that a person thought that their partner was the most attractive and was attracted to them above all others. Most likely there were guys/gals that were just as attractive, less attractive, or more attractive.
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 That's not an attack but if you chose to take it that way okay. Right. Rudely assuming I'm an inexperienced, paranoid virgin is not an insult. Stating I got the impression you were paranoid had nothing to do with your personal life but your mindset and way of thinking. And because of my way of thinking, I'm paranoid. So I just need to accept a partner who constantly sees other men as more attractive than me, and pining over them. Just accept my fate as a willing cuckold. Nope. What portrayal of your personal life did you get? Pretty sure I was sticking to the whole you getting pining away & looking outside the relationship and there's no need to find others more attractive than your partner from someone being more attracted to others than their partner. Nice word twisting. I presented a good argument: It's natural to find others attractive and it's natural to find others more attractive than your partner or be more attracted to them than your partner. Most people have someone they were with or weren't with that they are more attracted to than their partner. Again as I said before (which YOU completely gloss over;)) I have no problem with her finding other men attractive to a reasonable, healthy extent. It's natural, no one is doubting that. It only becomes a problem when she starts slobbing over them like she's dehydrated and it affects the intimacy with her partner. Do tell what's wrong with that? Are human beings once in a relationship can only find their partner attractive? Are human beings who most likely found others less, more, or equally attractive than their partner now can only see their partner as most attractive? Please you're taking it overboard and twisting my words. Quite amusing when you talk of me having to resort to personal attacks. I never said you were one of those women. Ah so it is the end all be all for you to be the most attractive to your partner and your partner to be most attracted to you. Again more word twisting. Quite amusing when you talk of me having to resort to personal attacks. It's not an obsession with porn as porn was one of the many things listed there. I listed 6 things and porn was only 1. And I have addressed them. I have no issue with porn I just find it's easy to sort the hypocrites. It seems guys have an issue with their gal being attracted to others but don't realize the hypocrisy in masturbating to porn so if he can find others attractive why not her as well. Those men who have a problem with their woman naturally seeing other men attractive just have some issues they need to work on. Does that automatically mean they're inexperienced, bitter, paranoid virgin jerks? No. I'm not one of those guys who has a problem with my woman being attracted to other men. As long as it's not drooling then I'm okay with it. As long as she doesn't see me as someone to "settle" with after loads of men before me have taken all her sweet juices then we're good. So you want to be able to be attracted to other women and enjoy it but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. Tsk tsk there you go with word twisting. I never said I wanted to be attracted to other women and "enjoy it" (as you so nobly and sarcastically stated, as if I want to have fantasies about them and ravish in them) but she can't do the same. I have repeatedly said that I agree it is natural as long as it doesn't poison the relationship she has with her partner. So essentially it's natural to an extent to find people other than your partner more attractive but you want to be the most attractive to your partner. OMG Most likely you and her found before getting together found other people more, less, or equally attractive and were more, less, or equally attracted to others. So what? My point is I'm with her and therefore my attention is on her and not pining for other attractive women. Why the hell is that an unreasonable request to you? Recall: I highly doubt that before getting into a relationship with their partner that a person thought that their partner was the most attractive and was attracted to them above all others. Most likely there were guys/gals that were just as attractive, less attractive, or more attractive. *sigh*
udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Right. Rudely assuming I'm an inexperienced, paranoid virgin is not an insult. Where did I assume you were inexperienced or a virgin? Seems you were projecting quite a bit there. Egh you sound just like how some gals don't want to date virgins because they don't want to deal with him getting angsty and looking to rank up his numbers because he's only had one partner. Paranoid. So do you want your partner to attracted to you most? If so do you think it would be fair for her to request that you not masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals attractive, find other gals more attractive than her, be attracted to other gals, or be more attracted to other gals? And because of my way of thinking, I'm paranoid. Egh to me equating a partner finding some else more attractive or being more attracted to someone other than you meaning they don't love you or are pining after said person is a bit paranoid. Nice word twisting. Seems you're the one twisting words here.
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Actually you did gloss over it. Three times. What??? Okay if by mistake I glossed over your question, my apologies. Is that better? In fact you skipped over the response you're now quoting to respond to a post of my that came way earlier and on another page. You're confusing me. Look I just responded to the replies me and you exchanged recently. I don't know about these other posts you're talking about. Again if I did that I'm sorry. It's really early in the morning, I'm tired, and I'm typing as fast as I can so..... The one where you claim me getting the impression you're paranoid was a personal attack and inaccurate profile of your personal life. It IS an inaccurate profile of my personal life. Then you proceeded to make several attacks of your own: insulting my gals I know, So you know gals who got it up with all the men in the club? calling me bitter about porn... because it was one of the 6 things I asked to test if the attitude would remain the same, and giving a play of how I was hurt by a previous bf because of porn. Okay I'm going to be the bigger man here and say I'm sorry if I insulted you. But my original point still stands. You don't seem to even acknowledge that you're responding lately to a post just giving the impression that I made a post about something you already answered. What??? What more do you want me to do? When you skipped over that response to talk about something I posted earlier which also had that question you finally answered. Okay look I'm just tired. I'm sorry if I can't remember every post in this thread.
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Where did I assume you were inexperienced or a virgin? Seems you were projecting quite a bit there. Sure I was. Egh to me equating a partner finding some else more attractive or being more attracted to someone other than you meaning they don't love you or are pining after said person is a bit paranoid. No that's not paranoid. That's called saving my balls before they get crushed. Seems you're the one twisting words here. No.
udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Sure I was. So show me where I assumed you were an inexperienced virgin. I only stated you sound paranoid like gals I know. Egh you sound just like how some gals don't want to date virgins because they don't want to deal with him getting angsty and looking to rank up his numbers because he's only had one partner. Paranoid. So do you want your partner to attracted to you most? If so do you think it would be fair for her to request that you not masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals attractive, find other gals more attractive than her, be attracted to other gals, or be more attracted to other gals? Again as I said before (which YOU completely gloss over;)) I have no problem with her finding other men attractive to a reasonable, healthy extent. It's natural, no one is doubting that. It only becomes a problem when she starts slobbing over them like she's dehydrated and it affects the intimacy with her partner. Do tell me how am I glossing over that when you responding to an earlier post of mine made before you made the statement that you think it's natural to find other attractive to an extent? Just alerting you that the post you are quoting was made before you stated what you're claiming this post glossed over. I never said you were one of those women. Really I don't know what is your obsession with men and porn but it's obvious you've had some experience with a man who looked at porn and are bitter about it. You keep mentioning it in your recent responses. Again more word twisting. How is it word twisting you stated if your partner doesn't find you the most attractive and is most attracted to you then they don't really love you? Recall: Really if so why the upset at someone being more attracted to another person than their partner? Because it's obvious that person is not really in love with their partner. If it's not the end all be all then you would have no issue with a partner who finds other men more attractive and is more attracted to other men than you? Tsk tsk there you go with word twisting. That's not word twisting that's the impression I got that it's okay to be attracted to others but that she can't be more attracted to them than she is you. Or was that the wrong impression? Note how I didn't state you claimed, stated, or said you etc etc. I was just giving my impression of your words. I never said I wanted to be attracted to other women and "enjoy it" (as you so nobly and sarcastically stated, as if I want to have fantasies about them and ravish in them) but she can't do the same. I have repeatedly said that I agree it is natural as long as it doesn't poison the relationship she has with her partner. Egh enjoy it to me means no guilt and no thinking it will cause ill harm...that whole nobly and sarcastically stated as if ravishing fantasies seems to be your projection. You did state that you would find it an unreasonable request if a partner ask you not to be attracted to others and that you'd see an attractive gal and think she's attractive. If I'm in love with you then I won't be wasting most of my time taking second glances at other attractive women. Sure I'd see them and think "oh wow, she looks like a nice woman," and then I'd go about my business without giving it a second thought. I would be focused on you and I would expect the same. Or is that the wrong impression that you and your partner can't enjoy others attractiveness and be attracted just that you can't find others more attractive or be more attracted to others? So what? My point is I'm with her and therefore my attention is on her and not pining for other attractive women. Why the hell is that an unreasonable request to you? To me it's unreasonable to equate finding other people more attractive than your partner or being more attracted to other people than your partner as pining for said people. As before you got into the relationship you most likely found other more attractive or were more attracted to others. Edited March 17, 2012 by udolipixie
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 So show me where I assumed you were an inexperienced virgin. Go and look at when we initially started battling. I only stated you sound paranoid like gals I know. Sure.... Do tell me how am I glossing over that when you responding to an earlier post of mine made before you made the statement that you think it's natural to find other attractive to an extent? As I said before I'm tired and sleepy. I don't have the energy to bring up previous posts just to prove my point. Just alerting you that the post you are quoting was made before you stated what you're claiming this post glossed over. *sigh* Really Really. How is it word twisting you stated if your partner doesn't find you the most attractive and is most attracted to you then they don't really love you? I said if she's out pining for other men, and think they're more attractive while pining for them, then it's not love. If it's not the end all be all then you would have no issue with a partner who finds other men more attractive and is more attracted to other men than you? So like I said earlier you expect me to just accept that and put a fat smile on my face. Nope, once again. I will never. That's not word twisting that's the impression I got that it's okay to be attracted to others but that she can't be more attracted to them than she is you. She's pining for them if she has that much time to assess that they're more attractive than me. Or was that the wrong impression? Note how I didn't state you claimed, stated, or said you etc etc. I was just giving my impression of your words. Half of this argument was with you twisting my words. Egh enjoy it to me means no guilt and no thinking it will cause ill harm...that whole nobly and sarcastically stated as if ravishing fantasies seems to be your projection. That's not my projection. That's what you said, and the tone of your posts said it all. You assumed that I enjoyed looking at other women extensively. You did state that you would find it an unreasonable request if a partner ask you not to be attracted to others and that you'd see an attractive gal and think she's attractive. Yea and you also purposely left out the fact that I ALSO said that I have no problem with her being attracted to other men to an extent, as long as it doesn't interfere with our relationship. Like I said before, you keep glossing over my statements. Or is that the wrong impression that you and your partner can't enjoy others attractiveness and be attracted just that you can't find others more attractive or be more attracted to others? *sigh* To me it's unreasonable to equate finding other people more attractive than your partner or being more attracted to other people than your partner as pining for said people. To me it's stupid to be with someone who pines for another man she thinks is more attractive than me. As before you got into the relationship you most likely found other more attractive or were more attracted to others. But when I'm with her I'm not there to think about my previous partners and their physical attractiveness, and it's not a big ass request to expect the same thing from her. Jeez are there any women out there these days that can just be loyal to their man?
udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Go and look at when we initially started battling. I don't consider this a battle and I quoted it twice asking you to show me where. I only stated you sound paranoid like gals I know. Show me where I assumed you were an inexperienced virgin. Egh you sound just like how some gals don't want to date virgins because they don't want to deal with him getting angsty and looking to rank up his numbers because he's only had one partner. Paranoid. So do you want your partner to attracted to you most? If so do you think it would be fair for her to request that you not masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals attractive, find other gals more attractive than her, be attracted to other gals, or be more attracted to other gals? I said if she's out pining for other men, and think they're more attractive while pining for them, then it's not love. You also said that you equate a gal finding other men more attractive or being more attracted to other men as pining. So she doesn't necessarily have to pine for them as in want to be with them all she has to do is think they are more attractive than her partner or be more attracted to them than her partner and by your definition she is pining. Me Being more attracted to someone doesn't always equate to pining after them. If that were the case then being attracted to another person when you have a partner could be labeled as cheating. You Yes it does equate to pining. Otherwise, why else would you view him as more attractive than your partner? Evidently in order to view him as better looking you'd have to be checking him out for more than a few seconds, along with comparisons. So like I said earlier you expect me to just accept that and put a fat smile on my face. Nope, once again. I will never. Egh I never stated what I expected out of you. I just stated I found it unreasonable to automatically equate that a person finding another more attractive than their partner or being more attracted to another is pining after them. You seem quite set on what I expect of you when I've made no declarations of such things. That's not my projection. That's what you said, and the tone of your posts said it all. You assumed that I enjoyed looking at other women extensively. Do tell how is the following you quote when you stated the whole ravishing fantasies bit was an assumption of your looking habits? So you want to be able to be attracted to other women and enjoy it but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. This was after you've declared: that it would be unreasonable for her to request you not be attracted to other women. So you want to be able to be attracted to other women: you're aware you may be attracted to other women as it's natural to be attracted to others. that you may look at an attractive woman and think attractive but it's not detrimental to the relationship and enjoy it: no guilt or thinking it will cause ill will to the relationship that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. Yea and you also purposely left out the fact that I ALSO said that I have no problem with her being attracted to other men to an extent, as long as it doesn't interfere with our relationship. Like I said before, you keep glossing over my statements. Or is that the wrong impression that you and your partner can't enjoy others attractiveness and be attracted just that you can't find others more attractive or be more attracted to others? I didn't purposely leave out anything. Seems you missed this bit odd since it's right after the one you quoted. I do add in the "the extent" I just clarify what the extent is: that you can find others attractive just not find them more attractive. So how am I glossing over in this case? It's quite amusing hearing someone who repeatedly responded to earlier posts rather than recent posts that I'm glossing over statements. The first time you claimed I was glossing over your statements you were responding to my post that was made before you placed your answer. The second time you claimed I was glossing over your statements it was once again when you were responding to my post that was made before you placed what I was supposedly glossing over. Recall: Do tell me how am I glossing over that when you responding to an earlier post of mine made before you made the statement that you think it's natural to find other attractive to an extent? But when I'm with her I'm not there to think about my previous partners and their physical attractiveness, and it's not a big ass request to expect the same thing from her. To me it's a big request to expect her not to find others more attractive than you or be more attracted to others than you. Jeez are there any women out there these days that can just be loyal to their man? Loyal by your definitions which means that she can't find others more attractive than you or be more attracted to others than you. Edited March 17, 2012 by udolipixie
ScreamingTrees Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Why is it an issue? I highly doubt most men find the same or more attraction to their partners than previous partners, other women they see, fantasy women, or porn actresses masturbate to. In most relationships I've seen there's usually is someone you're more attracted to than your partner or find more attractive than your partner. Whether that someone was a person you were with or wanted to be with. This seems to be an ego thing of my partner must only find me the hottest thing ever and can't be attracted more to others. Sort of like gals who get offended that their partner checks out other gals or masturbates to porn. * Why even bother being with that person if they're not a perfect physical and mental match for someone? I don't understand this one. I guess it's better that you admit to ultimately settling for the guy at some point, so if he has some sort of self worth he could just move on upon discovering that there're much better matches out there for you, I guess. If a girl was more attracted to some other guy and she made it very obvious, I'd tell her to take a hike and try her luck with him instead. Oh well.
udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Half of this argument was with you twisting my words. You have yet to point out where I twisted anything. You just state I did. 1. You said this was taking it overboard and twisting your words: I presented a good argument: It's natural to find others attractive and it's natural to find others more attractive than your partner or be more attracted to them than your partner. Most people have someone they were with or weren't with that they are more attracted to than their partner. Do tell what's wrong with that? Are human beings once in a relationship can only find their partner attractive? Are human beings who most likely found others less, more, or equally attractive than their partner now can only see their partner as most attractive? Your stance is that you're not really in love if you find others more attractive than your partner or are more attracted to others than your partner. My stance is it's natural to find others more attractive or be more attracted to others than your partner. So how is me questioning you on what's wrong with that natural inclination and if in your world when in a relationship people being able to find others more attractive or be more attracted to others twisting words/taking it overboard? 2. You said I was twisting your words when I stated it seems that you do find your partner not finding others more attractive or being more attracted to them as the end all be all. Your insistence on not having a partner that finds others more attractive or is more attracted to to others do suggest it is an end all be all to you. Your dialog with GoodOnPaper Once that attraction to others exceeds that to her partner, why would she be interested in staying with her partner? Because he provides stability for her. It's not out of love. Me Perhaps because being attracted to your partner the most out of the world is not the end all be all. You No one here is claiming it to be "the end all, be all." Our dialog Really if so why the upset at someone being more attracted to another person than their partner? Because it's obvious that person is not really in love with their partner.
udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Why even bother being with that person if they're not a perfect physical and mental match for someone? To me it seems unreasonable to think why bother unless I can find no other people more attractive than this person or be more attracted to others than this person. As well as perfect match doesn't mean it's most wanted forevermore. Some people think X is perfect but they can also like Z and they can like Y more. A guy can be attracted to his partner and still find other gals attractive. A guy can be more attracted to other gals but that to me doesn't diminish the relationship quality. I don't understand this one. I guess it's better that you admit to ultimately settling for the guy at some point, Why is it settling to you if you're able to find other people more attractive than your partner or able to be more attracted to others than your partner? To me it's natural to find others attractive. Most likely before a person is with their partner they found others to be less, equally, or more attractive than their partner. Recognizing to attractiveness doesn't seem to be something that just ends when in a relationship.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Would you say the same thing if the situation was a gal wanting to feel special by not having her bf masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals more attractive than her, or be more attracted to other gals? There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel special however it's quite a logical jump to want to be the person your partner is most attracted to. Most people have others that they are more attracted to that they were with or weren't with. I can't speak for other people, but for me, women are like songs or paintings; Either aesthetically attractive or unattractive, and out of a gallery of em, any of 'em could grow on me, especially if there's more of a hidden meaning behind the bigger picture. There are no grades of attractive, just attractive in it's many forms. I may have a minor personal preference for a certain form of attractive, but it's rather vague. If I was with someone who I was absolutely attracted to, I honestly wouldn't go out of my way to be looking at other females, nor would I ever feel the need to masterbate to porn. 1
ScreamingTrees Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) To me it seems unreasonable to think why bother unless I can find no other people more attractive than this person or be more attracted to others than this person. As well as perfect match doesn't mean it's most wanted forevermore. Some people think X is perfect but they can also like Z and they can like Y more. A guy can be attracted to his partner and still find other gals attractive. A guy can be more attracted to other gals but that to me doesn't diminish the relationship quality. Why is it settling to you if you're able to find other people more attractive than your partner or able to be more attracted to others than your partner? To me it's natural to find others attractive. Most likely before a person is with their partner they found others to be less, equally, or more attractive than their partner. Recognizing to attractiveness doesn't seem to be something that just ends when in a relationship. It's natural, of course, but if she finds someone else more attractive than myself, I'm obviously not her ideal. Why wouldn't she just try to see if she could get with the guy of which she'd click better with physically? I don't see why she wouldn't. I'm not a perfect match, period. Why live a lie? If I'm with someone, it's because I find them more attractive than most others. Their inner beings could lead me to REALLY love their external appearance moreso than girls whom I might've been just as attracted to. (I don't find some attractive girls more attractive than others, it's basically the same to me.) Edited March 17, 2012 by ScreamingTrees 1
udolipixie Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) If I was with someone who I was absolutely attracted to, I honestly wouldn't go out of my way to be looking at other females, nor would I ever feel the need to masterbate to porn. To me only 2 (checking out others & masturbating to porn) are actively going out of your way to look at other people. You're scoping and you chose what to masturbate to. To me it's not really going out of your way if you notice someone is attractive. are attracted to someone else, or find someone more attractive than your partner. I find it natural to be with someone you're attracted to and also find others attractive and some even more attractive than your partner. It's natural, of course, but if she finds someone else more attractive than myself, I'm obviously not her ideal. Why wouldn't she just try to see if she could get with the guy of which she'd click better with physically? I don't see why she wouldn't. I'm not a perfect match, period. Why live a lie? It may be important to you to be your partner's physical ideal and have a partner who's your physical ideal but not necessarily to everyone. Just because she's more attracted to him doesn't negate her attraction to you or if there the love, trust, connection, communication, emotional intimacy, sexual satisfaction the relationship has. To me there's no sense in chasing physical ideals due to aging. Attraction is usually needed for most however ideal.. Maybe it's not a lie to her if she doesn't trade up every time she finds a guy she considers more attractive or is more attracted to than her partner. Some gals/guys want to be attracted to their partner and for their partner to be attracted to them. I've seen many who pursue those they found most attractive however I don't hear "I need my partner to be the most attractive to me/my ideal" more than "I need to be attracted to my partner". If I'm with someone, it's because I find them more attractive than most others. Their inner beings could lead me to REALLY love their external appearance moreso than girls whom I might've been just as attracted to. (I don't find some attractive girls more attractive than others, it's basically the same to me.) Keywords most others not everyone or everyone I've encountered. Most people are unlikely to have partners that they find then more attractive than everyone else or everyone they have or may encounter. Most others perhaps however that doesn't mean they won't or haven't already encounter someone they find more attractive. Edited March 17, 2012 by udolipixie
xxoo Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Let me quickly explain typical male thinking. I think that will help because guys struggle to think like girls and girls struggle to think like guys. Women who sleep with lots of guys come across as... not very picky. It makes both them and the men they sleep with cheap. I think many women are starting to feel the same about man-whores. I've noticed that mostly it's QUALITY women who think this way... which makes me believe that quality guys think this way as well. Guys assume it's easy for a lady to get laid... because as guys we know that both ourselves and the guy next to us has really low standards when it comes to just getting sex. Hell, a guy in my highschool got caught humping his sheep. But... it's not easy to get sex for most guys. Unless you are the 1% of men getting laid is not that easy. Although I will say its WAY easier than when I was 16. This is mostly because women tend to be picky and want commitment. Now... why don't guys then love slutty women? I believe it's primarily because guys are competitive. They see this girl that isn't picky at all and think... wow... I'm just another guy. It also means she more than likely offered commitment to the guys before you... but they turned her down. Now your the sucker that has to settle for what other guys tossed away. This is why high number women are percieved to have less to offer because of this thinking. Thanks for this post. It does explain a lot that I would never consider. The most interesting to me is the assumption that the woman offered commitment to others, and was turned down. I wonder if it is true.
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I don't consider this a battle and I quoted it twice asking you to show me where. Read your own responses. I only stated you sound paranoid like gals I know. Show me where I assumed you were an inexperienced virgin. Egh you sound just like how some gals don't want to date virgins because they don't want to deal with him getting angsty and looking to rank up his numbers because he's only had one partner. Paranoid. So do you want your partner to attracted to you most? If so do you think it would be fair for her to request that you not masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals attractive, find other gals more attractive than her, be attracted to other gals, or be more attracted to other gals? You also said that you equate a gal finding other men more attractive or being more attracted to other men as pining. It is pining. So she doesn't necessarily have to pine for them as in want to be with them all she has to do is think they are more attractive than her partner or be more attracted to them than her partner and by your definition she is pining. If she's thinking about them as more attractive than me extensively, yes it is pining. Me Being more attracted to someone doesn't always equate to pining after them. If that were the case then being attracted to another person when you have a partner could be labeled as cheating. You Yes it does equate to pining. Otherwise, why else would you view him as more attractive than your partner? Evidently in order to view him as better looking you'd have to be checking him out for more than a few seconds, along with comparisons. Egh I never stated what I expected out of you. I just stated I found it unreasonable to automatically equate that a person finding another more attractive than their partner or being more attracted to another is pining after them. But it is pining. You seem quite set on what I expect of you when I've made no declarations of such things. Oh I'm not worried about your expectations. Not by a long shot. Do tell how is the following you quote when you stated the whole ravishing fantasies bit was an assumption of your looking habits? So you want to be able to be attracted to other women and enjoy it but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. I already responded to this previously. Again you're glossing over my statements. This was after you've declared: that it would be unreasonable for her to request you not be attracted to other women. So you want to be able to be attracted to other women: you're aware you may be attracted to other women as it's natural to be attracted to others. that you may look at an attractive woman and think attractive but it's not detrimental to the relationship and enjoy it: no guilt or thinking it will cause ill will to the relationship I also said vice versa. Again you're glossing over my statements. You said "enjoy it" as if I think about how much I'd love to get in the bed with that attractive woman. that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. More word twisting. Or is that the wrong impression that you and your partner can't enjoy others attractiveness and be attracted just that you can't find others more attractive or be more attracted to others? I didn't purposely leave out anything. Seems you missed this bit odd since it's right after the one you quoted. I do add in the "the extent" I just clarify what the extent is: that you can find others attractive just not find them more attractive. So how am I glossing over in this case? It's quite amusing hearing someone who repeatedly responded to earlier posts rather than recent posts that I'm glossing over statements. It's quite amusing that you think it's okay for men to be cuckolds to their woman who considers them a second option. The first time you claimed I was glossing over your statements you were responding to my post that was made before you placed your answer. The second time you claimed I was glossing over your statements it was once again when you were responding to my post that was made before you placed what I was supposedly glossing over. Recall: To me it's a big request to expect her not to find others more attractive than you or be more attracted to others than you. Loyal by your definitions which means that she can't find others more attractive than you or be more attracted to others than you. Again more word twisting. It never stops does it?
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 You have yet to point out where I twisted anything. You just state I did. I don't need to point out anything. Find it yourself. I know what I said. 1. You said this was taking it overboard and twisting your words: Your stance is that you're not really in love if you find others more attractive than your partner or are more attracted to others than your partner. My stance is it's natural to find others more attractive or be more attracted to others than your partner. So how is me questioning you on what's wrong with that natural inclination and if in your world when in a relationship people being able to find others more attractive or be more attracted to others twisting words/taking it overboard? You're not questioning me on what's wrong with pining. You're twisting my previous posts to try and trip me up. 2. You said I was twisting your words when I stated it seems that you do find your partner not finding others more attractive or being more attracted to them as the end all be all. Your insistence on not having a partner that finds others more attractive or is more attracted to to others do suggest it is an end all be all to you. You stated that, but you followed it up with a volley of assumptions. Your dialog with GoodOnPaper Me You Our dialog Okay??? And???
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 To me it seems unreasonable to think why bother unless I can find no other people more attractive than this person or be more attracted to others than this person. As well as perfect match doesn't mean it's most wanted forevermore. Some people think X is perfect but they can also like Z and they can like Y more. A guy can be attracted to his partner and still find other gals attractive. A guy can be more attracted to other gals but that to me doesn't diminish the relationship quality. That is your line of thinking. Everyone isn't okay with that and the same for my view. It's all a preference at the end of the day. Why is it settling to you if you're able to find other people more attractive than your partner or able to be more attracted to others than your partner? You're assuming the second option partner would find someone more attractive than their partner, who's pining for other more attractive men, in order to justify her behavior. To me it's natural to find others attractive. And I've told you that yet you continue to gloss over it. Most likely before a person is with their partner they found others to be less, equally, or more attractive than their partner. That's irrelevant, considering they're exes. Recognizing to attractiveness doesn't seem to be something that just ends when in a relationship. Again nothing wrong with that, but when a partner starts to pine for that more attractive person, then there's a problem.
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Read your own responses. My response: Egh you sound just like how some gals don't want to date virgins because they don't want to deal with him getting angsty and looking to rank up his numbers because he's only had one partner. Paranoid. So do you want your partner to attracted to you most? If so do you think it would be fair for her to request that you not masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals attractive, find other gals more attractive than her, be attracted to other gals, or be more attracted to other gals? You claimed this response is: Right. Rudely assuming I'm an inexperienced, paranoid virgin is not an insult. I assumed you were paranoid nowhere does that assume you were an inexperienced virgin. Once again: I only stated you sound paranoid like gals I know. So tell me where I stated or assumed you were an inexperienced virgin rather just stated you were paranoid like gals I know?
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 If she's thinking about them as more attractive than me extensively, yes it is pining. So now you add in extensively before it was she merely had to think he was more attractive or be more attracted to other guys than you. If there's all those things then there's no need to be looking outside the relationship and pining for other men/women. Plain and simple. This is not rocket science. Being more attracted to another person than your partner or finding someone more attractive than your partner isn't always looking outside the relationship and pining for another. Yes it does equate to pining. Otherwise, why else would you view him as more attractive than your partner? Evidently in order to view him as better looking you'd have to be checking him out for more than a few seconds, along with comparisons. So more than a few second glance check out pining and finding them more attractive than your partner is pining okay. But it is pining. I already responded to this previously. Again you're glossing over my statements. I haven't been glossing over anything you've been responding to posts that were made before you had made the statements you're claiming I'm glossing over. Here's evidence I post at #143 and #144 You #145 to me #143 Me #149 to you #145 You #150 to me #144 Me #153 to you #150 You #154 to me #149 stating I'm glossing over things. I've been responding to your most recent posts. You've been responding to earlier posts before the statements I've explained it. I told you in #155 I wasn't glossing over anything. Yes you answered in #150 when you were responding to #144. No I wasn't glossing over anything because the post you were reference in #154 claiming I was glossing over was #149 which was made before #150 before the statement you claimed I was glossing over. I also said vice versa. Again you're glossing over my statements. That's not glossing over. I'm discussing your expectations for your partner so vice versa is irrelevant to me. Vice versa is only relevant to to me if I'm talking about your expectations of a relationship. I was talking about your expectations of a partner not your expectations of a relationship. You said "enjoy it" as if I think about how much I'd love to get in the bed with that attractive woman. That as if is the impression you got. I even stated what enjoy is to me. Egh enjoy it to me means no guilt and no thinking it will cause ill harm...that whole nobly and sarcastically stated as if ravishing fantasies seems to be your projection. You did state that you would find it an unreasonable request if a partner ask you not to be attracted to others and that you'd see an attractive gal and think she's attractive. More word twisting. Explain how this is word twising: that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. So that's word twisting when: [Really if so why the upset at someone being more attracted to another person than their partner? Because it's obvious that person is not really in love with their partner. * I got you think your partner doesn't love you if they're more attracted to another person* So this is not word twisint:that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others You stated it's an unreasonable request for a partner to ask the other not to find others attractive. You stated it's not loving your partner and equating pining to find others attractive the extent being more attractive than your partner. So this is not word twisting: but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. You just now stated thinking they are more attractive than you extensively is pining. Before it was merely checking them out and thinking they were more attractive or being more attractive to them then you. Before your post right now long she stuck on on that thought didn't have bearing. It's quite amusing that you think it's okay for men to be cuckolds to their woman who considers them a second option. Where did I state that? QUOTE=udolipixie;3878457]It's natural to find others attractive and it's natural to find others more attractive than your partner or be more attracted to them than your partner. I highly doubt that before getting into a relationship with their partner that a person thought that their partner was the most attractive and was attracted to them above all others. Most likely there were guys/gals that were just as attractive, less attractive, or more attractive. Nothing about cuckolding or second options in my posts. I've repeatedly been saying it's natural to be more attracted to others than your partner and it's natural to find someone morea attractive than your partner. Again more word twisting. It never stops does it? How I twisting your words when I'm explaining to you that you've been responding to posts that were made before you posted the statements you claim I'm glossing over?
Desensitized Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 The most interesting to me is the assumption that the woman offered commitment to others, and was turned down. I wonder if it is true I would say it is quite true. At least, it has been in my case where i was with a woman that's slept around. In other words, you are boring and not the guy they would have chased in their prime. But now with limited options they are looking at you-boring loser guy-to have their backs. Yeah... this, most def. I refuse to be somebody's backup b*tch =P
Black Jack Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 My response: You claimed this response is: I assumed you were paranoid nowhere does that assume you were an inexperienced virgin. Once again: So tell me where I stated or assumed you were an inexperienced virgin rather just stated you were paranoid like gals I know? I don't have time for backtracking. Doesn't matter, I won't waiver my stance because you don't agree with me.
Black Jack Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 So now you add in extensively before it was she merely had to think he was more attractive or be more attracted to other guys than you. I did not add in "extensively." In order for someone to pine, it takes quite an amount of time. I haven't been glossing over anything you've been responding to posts that were made before you had made the statements you're claiming I'm glossing over. Here's evidence I post at #143 and #144 You #145 to me #143 Me #149 to you #145 You #150 to me #144 Me #153 to you #150 You #154 to me #149 stating I'm glossing over things. I've been responding to your most recent posts. You've been responding to earlier posts before the statements I've explained it. I've been responding to the same replies you responded to me. I don't care if they weren't in order. It's not like your message was any different between posts. I told you in #155 I wasn't glossing over anything. Yes you answered in #150 when you were responding to #144. No I wasn't glossing over anything because the post you were reference in #154 claiming I was glossing over was #149 which was made before #150 before the statement you claimed I was glossing over. I don't care if #333 was different than #567:laugh: it matters nothing to me when responding to your replies to me. That's not glossing over. I'm discussing your expectations for your partner so vice versa is irrelevant to me. So NOW you've just admitted you're trying to shove your own agenda down my throat by KNOWINGLY GLOSSING over half of my statements. And "vice versa" is relevant to me, whether you like it or not because I have said time and time again that I HAVE NO PROBLEM with my woman seeing other men attractive, as long as it doesn't tamper our relationship. Vice versa is only relevant to to me if I'm talking about your expectations of a relationship. I was talking about your expectations of a partner not your expectations of a relationship. Then you obviously need to get with the topic because what I was discussing was for both me, my partner, and my relationship with her. We've already exhausted talking about my expectations and whatnot. I have said that I refuse to be with a woman who pines for other more attractive men. The problem is that you seem to not want to accept the fact that I refuse to give in and suck a woman's toes while she's drooling over her bad boy stud. That as if is the impression you got. I even stated what enjoy is to me. No you projected that on me. Explain how this is word twising: that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. So that's word twisting when: [ * I got you think your partner doesn't love you if they're more attracted to another person* So this is not word twisint:that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others Oh god. You stated it's an unreasonable request for a partner to ask the other not to find others attractive. You stated it's not loving your partner and equating pining to find others attractive the extent being more attractive than your partner. So this is not word twisting: but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. You just now stated thinking they are more attractive than you extensively is pining. Before it was merely checking them out and thinking they were more attractive or being more attractive to them then you. Before your post right now long she stuck on on that thought didn't have bearing. You're word twisting AGAIN. I already said earlier that pining is thinking about someone extensively, so there's no contradiction. You just think there's one. Where did I state that? QUOTE=udolipixie;3878457]It's natural to find others attractive and it's natural to find others more attractive than your partner or be more attracted to them than your partner. I highly doubt that before getting into a relationship with their partner that a person thought that their partner was the most attractive and was attracted to them above all others. Most likely there were guys/gals that were just as attractive, less attractive, or more attractive. Again it's cuckolding and second options. I won't deal with it. No pining allowed around me. Nothing about cuckolding or second options in my posts. I've repeatedly been saying it's natural to be more attracted to others than your partner and it's natural to find someone morea attractive than your partner. Okay, so you've been repeatedly saying it...... How I twisting your words when I'm explaining to you that you've been responding to posts that were made before you posted the statements you claim I'm glossing over? That is not true. I don't keep track of every single post in a thread, but I have stuck to my original stance during this continuing argument. You just keep twisting my words and trying to shove your view down my throat by constantly saying "It's natural to slob over more attractive men! It's natural!!!":laugh:
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I don't have time for backtracking. Doesn't matter, I won't waiver my stance because you don't agree with me. It's not backtracking. Here's the post show me where I did as you stated assumed you were an inexperienced virgin. Rather than what I claimed which you say is backtracking that you were paranoid like gals I know. Egh you sound just like how some gals don't want to date virgins because they don't want to deal with him getting angsty and looking to rank up his numbers because he's only had one partner. Paranoid. So do you want your partner to attracted to you most? If so do you think it would be fair for her to request that you not masturbate to porn or other women, check out other gals, find other gals attractive, find other gals more attractive than her, be attracted to other gals, or be more attracted to other gals?
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 To your previous posts I don't need to point out anything. Find it yourself. I know what I said. You said more word twisting. Just that. I responded with breakdowns of your response & my response asking where I twisted words. No replies. You're not questioning me on what's wrong with pining. You're twisting my previous posts to try and trip me up. trip you up....okay. Before your just now addition in #171 that thinking he's more attractive than you extensively was pining: You stated a partner who found others more attractive than you or was more attracted to others than you didn't really love you. Your response to the upset of being more attracted to another person than their partner: Because it's obvious that person is not really in love with their partner You stated a partner who found others more attractive than you or was more attracted to others than you equated pining. Your response to being more attracted to another person than your partner or finding someone more attractive than your partner isn't always looking outside the relationship and pining for another: Yes it does equate to pining. Otherwise, why else would you view him as more attractive than your partner? Evidently in order to view him as better looking you'd have to be checking him out for more than a few seconds, along with comparisons. Your response to a so more than a few second glance check out pining and finding them more attractive than your partner is pining okay: But it is pining. So to me this is a good response to those statements: Pretty sure I was sticking to the whole you getting pining away & looking outside the relationship and there's no need to find others more attractive than your partner from someone being more attracted to others than their partner. I presented a good argument: It's natural to find others attractive and it's natural to find others more attractive than your partner or be more attracted to them than your partner. Most people have someone they were with or weren't with that they are more attracted to than their partner. Do tell what's wrong with that? Are human beings once in a relationship can only find their partner attractive? Are human beings who most likely found others less, more, or equally attractive than their partner now can only see their partner as most attractive? You stated that, but you followed it up with a volley of assumptions. Do tell what are these volley of assumptions? I never said I wanted to be attracted to other women and "enjoy it" (as you so nobly and sarcastically stated, as if I want to have fantasies about them and ravish in them) but she can't do the same. I have repeatedly said that I agree it is natural as long as it doesn't poison the relationship she has with her partner. So you want to be able to be attracted to other women and enjoy it but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. That's not my projection. That's what you said, and the tone of your posts said it all. You assumed that I enjoyed looking at other women extensively. Do tell how is the following you quote when you stated the whole ravishing fantasies bit was an assumption of your looking habits? So you want to be able to be attracted to other women and enjoy it but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. This was after you've declared: that it would be unreasonable for her to request you not be attracted to other women. So you want to be able to be attracted to other women: you're aware you may be attracted to other women as it's natural to be attracted to others. that you may look at an attractive woman and think attractive but it's not detrimental to the relationship and enjoy it: no guilt or thinking it will cause ill will to the relationship that your stipulation is that your partner doesn't love you if they think others are more attractive or are more attracted to others but your partner cannot be attracted to others unless it's less than their attraction for you. Or is that the wrong impression that you and your partner can't enjoy others attractiveness and be attracted just that you can't find others more attractive or be more attracted to others? I made no note of your looking habits or that you statedyou wanted to stare extensively. You stated it was natural to be attracted to others with the extent of not being more attracted than your partner and if you say an attractive gal you'd think attractive and didn't consider that detrimental to the relationship. To me that is wanting to be attracted to thers and enjoy it unless that attraction is more than that of your partner.
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