ThaWholigan Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 After you got to try many other ones. Meanwhile the last guy got to twiddle his thumbs waiting. Which is fine, but not exactly "fun". Again, even though I have a similar experience, I have to emphasize the point: It doesn't exactly have to be that way
xxoo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 After you got to try many other ones. Meanwhile the last guy got to twiddle his thumbs waiting. Which is fine, but not exactly "fun". You assume, but that's not actually the case. In fact, he was my first and only in some--ahem--important ways. Notice I said "pick", not "try" But the point stands in reverse. HE got to try others. And I am completely certain that I am the last because I was the best. And I would assume a man is having fun of his own while she is having hers? If not, why not? Is that the crux of the issue--the guys aren't having fun? And is fun a euphemism for sex?
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 This just goes around and around.... If she is sexually interested in you, playful with you, reaches O with you, and thinks of you as "The One", doesn't that speak for itself? This is just like the women here that will never feel good enough because they weren't picked first. Yes it does go round and round, because you ignore the emotional need behind the feeling. Don't you want your partner to make you feel special? I didn't pick a lot of guys, but the BEST guy I picked was the LAST guy (that's why there have been, and will be, no more after him!) ... My xGF actually used those exact same words, while she was cheating on me. Forgive me if I laugh at hearing that again.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 And is fun a euphemism for sex? For me? No. For most people? Yes. And I would assume a man is having fun of his own while she is having hers? If not, why not? Is that the crux of the issue--the guys aren't having fun? Well in my experience, while a guy is single, he's mostly spending that time without any women in his life. He's not dating around or sleeping around or whatever. For me, the next woman I seriously date (hopefully the last) while be the first woman I seriously date. She'll also be my first kiss, etc. So, yeah, for me there's no dating "fun". Just a lot of waiting around.
GoodOnPaper Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 And I would assume a man is having fun of his own while she is having hers? If not, why not? Is that the crux of the issue--the guys aren't having fun? Not in my case -- and it's not just a euphemism for sex. I never felt I got to "choose" anyone. I was too busy trying to find those small subtle signs of potential interest that were so few and far between.
xxoo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yes it does go round and round, because you ignore the emotional need behind the feeling. I'm not ignoring it. In my relationship, I am the one who had less experience. When he wanted to stop messing around with lots of girls and commit to just me, that made me feel special. I'm trying to understand why it doesn't work in reverse for men. If a women who could get lots of guys wants to settle down with you, doesn't that make you some kind of awesome?
sid3 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 For me? No. For most people? Yes. Well in my experience, while a guy is single, he's mostly spending that time without any women in So, yeah, for me there's no dating "fun". Just a lot of waiting around Why are you waiting around. Why not try and change that. Sure you may not be able to go out and meet tons of women, but why not do one thing this weekend outside of your comfort zone. Change your definition of success for starters. Baby steps if thats what it takes. Check your ego at the door, you won't need it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I'm trying to understand why it doesn't work in reverse for men. If a women who could get lots of guys wants to settle down with you, doesn't that make you some kind of awesome? No, it makes you feel like the Wizards with Michael Jordan, or the Chargers with Johnny Unitas. You know they'd rather be somewhere else, can't so here they are.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Why are you waiting around. Why not try and change that. Sure you may not be able to go out and meet tons of women, but why not do one thing this weekend outside of your comfort zone. Change your definition of success for starters. Baby steps if thats what it takes. Check your ego at the door, you won't need it. Because I assume most women are not interested. So I have to wait until they show some interest before trying anything.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I'm not ignoring it. In my relationship, I am the one who had less experience. When he wanted to stop messing around with lots of girls and commit to just me, that made me feel special. I'm trying to understand why it doesn't work in reverse for men. If a women who could get lots of guys wants to settle down with you, doesn't that make you some kind of awesome? Not at all. Women and men have different sexual standards. On average women can find sexual partners very easily... men can't. Do you see the difference? No, it makes you feel like the Wizards with Michael Jordan, or the Chargers with Johnny Unitas. You know they'd rather be somewhere else, can't so here they are. This is situational. It really depends on how well she makes you feel.
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I'm not ignoring it. In my relationship, I am the one who had less experience. When he wanted to stop messing around with lots of girls and commit to just me, that made me feel special. Well of course it made you feel special. He said all the right words, but if you think that he doesn't reminisce about all the wild fun with beer cans and women he had around every corner, well.....let's just say we don't all keep our heads in the sand. No offense. But if he suits you then that's okay too, but today too many women have this state of mind that if they have a guy who stuck his penis in 20 warm holes before them, that it counts as "experience" and he's such a god and he's Alpha Omega..... Until they ended up getting cheated on or left to continue pursuing more booty. The "stereotype" about promiscuous men and women is true for a reason. I'm trying to understand why it doesn't work in reverse for men. That's because you're not thinking about how a most men feel about being with a woman who's had a train ran up her numerous times before "settling" with them. There's a deep mental mark with males and sex. If a women who could get lots of guys wants to settle down with you, doesn't that make you some kind of awesome? That's nothing special for a lot of men. If anything that shows how she sees men, and how she handles interpersonal relationships. Men want a woman who's loyal and down to earth, not someone who's been double-dipping since she was 18.
sid3 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Because I assume most women are not interested. Fair enough..... But you can also assume some are interested. So I have to wait until they show some interest before trying anything. No you don't have to, you choose to. How will you suddenly know how to tell, most interest is subtle, and often ambiguous. You could be waiting a long time for them to show interest first. There's a lot of holiday activities this weekened, plenty of options to chat up some girls.
xxoo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Not at all. Women and men have different sexual standards. On average women can find sexual partners very easily... men can't. Do you see the difference? I honesty don't. If she can find sexual partners easily, doesn't that make it more special that she chooses to commit to you? if you think that he doesn't reminisce about all the wild fun with beer cans and women he had around every corner, well.....let's just say we don't all keep our heads in the sand. No offense.. He should go right ahead! I hope he does have fond memories of his youth
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Fair enough..... But you can also assume some are interested. No you don't have to, you choose to. How will you suddenly know how to tell, most interest is subtle, and often ambiguous. You could be waiting a long time for them to show interest first. There's a lot of holiday activities this weekened, plenty of options to chat up some girls. Why does he have to be the one to always show interest first? If the woman is interested then she can make the first move. It's understandable he'd be tired of putting himself out there first all the time.
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I honesty don't. If she can find sexual partners easily, doesn't that make it more special that she chooses to commit to you? Everyone doesn't want sloppy seconds. He should go right ahead! I hope he does have fond memories of his youth Right.........*sighs*
MrNate 2.0 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Why does he have to be the one to always show interest first? If the woman is interested then she can make the first move. It's understandable he'd be tired of putting himself out there first all the time. Remember, though, it's the assertive men that get laid. I don't think this is by coincidence.
sid3 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Why does he have to be the one to always show interest first? If the woman is interested then she can make the first move. It's understandable he'd be tired of putting himself out there first all the time. That's true. In fact I'm tired of having to earn money, think ill quit my job and wait for someone to hand me some. Who says men are suppose to initiate, probably 95% of the population. I see your point, maybe that will become the norm someday.
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Remember, though, it's the assertive men that get laid. I don't think this is by coincidence. Every assertive man gets laid?
xxoo Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Right.........*sighs* What, you don't believe me? Or you don't think I understand what you insinuate? Most adults will have past sexual partners. Most will even (gasp!) think about past sexual partners occasionally. What is the big deal here? Now, a very high number of sexual partner can raise flags....but the op didn't say anything about that.
Black Jack Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 What, you don't believe me? Or you don't think I understand what you insinuate? It's not that, ma'am. Most adults will have past sexual partners. Nothing wrong with having past sexual partners, but when it's a high body count, the question of loyalty and honesty will come into play. And most adults are not tramps. Most will even (gasp!) think about past sexual partners occasionally. What is the big deal here? Wrong again. Not every adult thinks with their genitals 80% of the time they're living. The big deal is if there's a woman who's had 80 sexual partners and she thinks about them constantly while in a relationship with a nice guy who hasn't been sticking his thing in everything that moved, and has a good job going for him, that's not good. It just means she wants to have a cuckold under her wings while she spends his money and have three kids with him, while pining for that bad boy d*ck behind his back. Now, a very high number of sexual partner can raise flags....but the op didn't say anything about that. Yes he did, and besides, it's implied.
xxoo Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Yes he did, and besides, it's implied. The op has one post on this thread. His original post. It says nothing about a very high number of sex partners. That is another issue entirely, for either a man or a woman.
hotloader Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I meet a lot of women nearing 30 who say this. I translate it as, they’re nearing 30, the new breed of sexy new college grads have forced them out of the attention-whoring game. Dudes aren’t checking for you and offering to pay for thing like they use and feeling your value dropping you’re now ready to settle? You couldn't have hit the nail much harder on the head, but there's more to consider. Think about how many "nice" guys they've screwed over in their quest through the proverbial "Sea of Schlong". Now they wanna hook another "nice guy" since the clock is ticking. Yeah, no thanks. I prefer self respect. I was one of those "nice guys" for a long time. I'm not sticking my neck out twice. ***** that $hit. 1
Black Jack Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 The op has one post on this thread. His original post. It says nothing about a very high number of sex partners. That is another issue entirely, for either a man or a woman. It's implied. Otherwise we wouldn't be discussing this.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I honesty don't. If she can find sexual partners easily, doesn't that make it more special that she chooses to commit to you? ... You clearly can't think like a guy. 2
Woggle Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 There is a saying that if she didn't want you as a kitten then don't take her as a cat and there is some truth to it. 1
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