sghffdmc Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Hey loveshack, hope everyone is having a good day. I come to you all today pretty frustrated and somewhat down. I have been in a relationship with a girl for about two months now and I'm absolutely crazy about her. To be honest, I'm falling for her. Her personality really is awesome, we get along very well, and I am undoubtedly physically attracted to her. To make it even better, she's really a "guy's girl", and as someone who loves sports and stuff like that, I really enjoy that in a girl. However, I'm starting to see a few red flags that are becoming hard to ignore. She has only really been in one serious relationship prior to mine and it was long distance. (We are both juniors in college). Since we have started dating, she has raved to me about how well I treat her, how nice I am, and how she's never met anyone like me and that she likes me so much for that. Sure, that may sound good, but then it got weird on several occasions where she had mini "panic attacks" about getting too close to me. She said she has never felt like she does about me about anyone before and it freaks her out. She honestly cried one night and said word for word, "I don't want to get close to you". She later apologized repeatedly and did admit that she thinks she feels that way because she's worried about getting attached and then me finding someone better. That happened a few weeks ago and things had gotten better since. I really do think she started to let her guard down and simply allowed the relationship to take its course and get close to me naturally as it happened. Then last night happened. We were out for her friend's 21st birthday and my girlfriend is a very sociable person, I understand that. She has plenty of guy friends because that's just how she is, so through the night she would go and say hi and what not. I honestly have no problem with that. Everything seemed fine until we got in the car to head home and she started apologizing if she makes me feel uncomfortable when she talks to other guys. I told her it was honestly cool and I didn't care because I trust her and I know that's just how she is. But that's when she said something that I just have not been able to stop thinking about since the words left her mouth...."It's just so weird..." I asked her what was weird and she said having a boyfriend because she hasn't really had one in the same city before and she said it's just different. She then made sure to immediately clean up and say, "not like it's an inconvenience or anything." And I replied with, "Well, you don't have to have a boyfriend if you don't want one." She then went onto say she thinks it's just a case of wanting what you don't have, like when people are single they want relationships and when people are relationships they want to be single. That really actually hurt me when she said that, so I replied with something along the lines of, "Well, if you don't want to do this, I don't either. I like you too much and like you too much more every day to be strung along. I don't want to get hurt." That's when she freaked out and actually got mad and said she wasn't saying she didn't want a boyfriend at all and that she does like me and does want to be in a relationship with me. Eventually, after some lengthy discussion, everything seemingly got back to normal and it felt ok. But when I woke up today, that was the first thing I thought about. I just can't shake this feeling, a feeling that she's only going to break my heart one day...I don't know if my cause for worry is legitimate, or if it's just me overthinking things, but I hate this feeling. I like this girl so much, honestly more than any other girl I've ever dated, but now I can't rid this feeling of fear of getting screwed over and hurt.
Emilia Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Well you can relax because you are already at the stage where you might feel screwed and hurt. You can stop worrying about it since there isn't anything you can do to take yourself out of that zone. Relationships take getting used to. There is a chance that she will freak on you one day and leave you yes but equally she might just get used to the idea in a month or two. She is young and a bit feisty. Give her the chance to find her feet
Author sghffdmc Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 Well you can relax because you are already at the stage where you might feel screwed and hurt. You can stop worrying about it since there isn't anything you can do to take yourself out of that zone. Relationships take getting used to. There is a chance that she will freak on you one day and leave you yes but equally she might just get used to the idea in a month or two. She is young and a bit feisty. Give her the chance to find her feet Thanks for your input, this definitely helps and does make me feel a little better.
FitChick Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 In relationships, someone eventually leaves, even if they die. It's the nature of the beast. You two might just ruin your own relationship by analyzing everything to pieces. Most young people do this. Enjoy each other now while you are both young.
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