MrJames Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Hi everyone, i'm in desperate need of advice on this one. I have a girlfriend who i have been with for 3 and a half years, i'm 26. We got together and after 1 month I really thought I wasn't attracted to her and broke it off giving her a different reason, but after a week she called me saying she thinks we should try and I said yes. the next 3 years were absolutely amazing and i had some of the best times of my life, i became extremely attracted to her and we had sex every night, an amazing sex life etc. my family love her, i love her family and they love me, i wouldnt shut up about her to friends, we hardly ever argue and if we do they are mild, she's not jealous even though my job would make most girlfriends jealous, she's caring, kind, basically she is perfect, the nicest girl i've ever met and i fell deeply in love with her to the point where I was convinced she was the one, she is the only girl i have ever loved, it kills me that im writing this now because i still love her. the problem is this, over the last 6 months or so i've found that i've become increasingly less attracted to her to the point where i now wouldn't be bothered if i was told we would never have sex again. this breaks my heart because i know its not fair on her and she deserves better than that, i guess she is still attracted to me as she initiates intimacy frequently, and i dread it. I've been faithful to her since the day we got together and wouldn't dream of cheating on her and in my job there are so many opportunities to do so you wouldnt believe. It's getting to the point now where it's very frustrating that there are so many girls who i find attractive that i feel i really need something fresh and exciting, im so bored, a few girls who i know are interested in me i know personally and like as people too. I find myself annoyed with my situation regularly. The thing is, i know that my girlfriend is gorgeous looking and most men would fall in love with her at the drop of a hat because she has got it all, she would never have a problem finding someone else, but i just dont feel it anymore and i dont think it's healthy. We have just started living together too which has made it a lot harder to make a decision, i fear that if i broke up with her i would regret it and never find a better girl but that's the risk i would have to take. What do you think? is it normal for this to happen and I just have to ride it out? im finding it more and more difficult as the spark is just gone and there are girls i am really attracted to. Hope you can help.
Els Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 What do you think has contributed to the decline in interest over the past 6 months?
Eddie Edirol Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 if shes gorgeous, what is it that you dont find attractive about her anymore? What is it about the women you work with that you are so attracted to? Are you just bored? Have you gotten bored with ex's past? if so this might happen with any women you are with.
Author MrJames Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 I think i'm just genuinely bored of being intimate with her, i don't understand why but it has happened and I can't see how i'm going to get that spark back again, i recognise that she is good looking but I just can't get 'interested' in 'that way' anymore.
Author MrJames Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 if shes gorgeous, what is it that you dont find attractive about her anymore? What is it about the women you work with that you are so attracted to? Are you just bored? Have you gotten bored with ex's past? if so this might happen with any women you are with. No i haven't gotten bored with ex's in the past because I haven't been with any long enough, i've been messed around a bit when i was younger by girls because to be honest i was a bit plump and probably not that attractive. I met my current girlfriend after that phase, it's not girls who I 'work with' who i find attractive, i work as a singer/songwriter, that's all I can give away really because i'm worried that on the off chance someone I know may be on this site, paranoid i know:(
TigerCub Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 If you're bored with the sex you and her have, is it because its the same ol same ol routine? Have you tried spicing things up or introducing some new elements to the sexual routine? Do you guys really talk about fantasies and try to fulfill one another's?
Nightsky Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 From the way you describe it you have something special. Problem is you don’t want it. If you really find yourself wanting to get out that’s what you’ll have to do. I mean you should want to stay with some one who is gorgeous, you get along with, and wants to have sex… but you don’t. So go out there and live it up like you want to. You’re not doing yourself or her any favors by sticking it out any longer if you’ve made up your mind.
FitChick Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Why don't you two take a course in Tantric sex? I think they offer weekend getaways in some places. Or maybe other courses where you both could learn something new, not necessarily sex related. You'd get into a rut with anyone after a period of time. This is one reason why relationships take work. You'd probably never be able to find anyone half as good. Just read all the threads on here!
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