Amorfati Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I would like to learn what you guys think about it. I have experienced the both of the cases. Unfortunately, I think its true. When you be sure of someone has feelings for you, if you act in reckless way , consciously or unconsciously, the other person becomes more enthusiastic to get you. Oppositely, when you show that you care much about them, they think they got you and seeing no reason to struggle for you. so, whats your experiences say?
TigerCub Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I think that's true in the cases of game play and bull**** dating. Its only happened with some people, that I stopped showing interest (because I truly did just lose the vibe for them) and they chased harder. In the past, I have chased and longed for someone that wasn't available and couldn't give me what I wanted. So - it does happen...BUT...in real and mature relationships its not like that. My boyfriend knows that I love him and that I feel lucky to have him, and instead of ignoring me and being a dick cuz he knows "he's got me", he treats me like a queen. So I think all that depends on maturity and sincerity and the type of relationship it is, if its just dating to kill time and **** around or if its dating someone you really see a future with.
FitChick Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I think that's true in the cases of game play and bull**** dating. ...in real and mature relationships its not like that. I agree. It's also true of people who have low self-esteem. When they are rejected, it validates their low opinions of themselves. If someone does want them, it's the old "What's wrong with them if they want me?" As Groucho Marx said, repeated by Woody Allen, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member." 1
carhill Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 whats your experiences say? IME, true if your general attractiveness transcends any particular behavioral set. IOW, if the attraction is based upon appearance, social status and/or economics, more likely to succeed than if based upon personality/emotional stability/behavior.
DontWorryBHappy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Correlation does not equal causation. You have to be more aware of the reasons behind the event. In a case where one person is ignoring and the other is ignored, why is that the situation? It could be because the person doing the ignoring just "isn't feeling it" with the person being ignored. That happens sometimes in relationships or dating at a certain point. If someone is REALLY feeling it with you, their feelings wouldn't normally do a 180 just because you start acting differently, unless the change was sustained for a long enough period of time to affect things. In my case, I had a similar experience with the last guy I was with. Usually I'm pretty invested in relationships, but this guy just didn't do that for me. He was nice, but we weren't very alike, and he was very invested in me. Made his interest known too... contacted ALL the time, texted throughout the day, called every day, etc etc.. But I had to end things early on with him because we just didn't have that spark. And yeah, I started pulling away when I realized it and there's that effect that you are talking about. But it DIDN'T have to do with the fact that he was contacting me a lot. It was that I wouldn't have felt it with him no matter what he did, no matter how interested/uninterested he was. Then there was another ex who contacted me at that same frequency and I was totally into him. He definitely didn't ignore me and I really liked that because I liked HIM. The only time someone might appear to be more interested in you when you pull away (for example) is because their self esteem needs a makeover.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 That's simply part of the "wanting versus having" dynamic I kinda harp on these days. It's true even in the animal world. "Wanting" is what drives us. When we get things--especially people who take our "wants" away, we tire of them and want to "want" for someone else. I've found it to be true--not the part about being reckless but when I acted indifferently I felt chased. When I initiated I felt rebuked.
zengirl Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 "And if that made you happy kid, You'd be the first it ever did." --Dorothy Parker, The Lady's Reward
ptp Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I think it is absolutely true. Women respond to the push-pull technique. I'll pull a quote from the Matrix: "Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster." For some reason, if you keep a girl guessing as opposed to making it too easy she will like you more.
cerridwen Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I think it is absolutely true. Women respond to the push-pull technique. I'll pull a quote from the Matrix: "Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster." For some reason, if you keep a girl guessing as opposed to making it too easy she will like you more. Not healthy women, Ptp. Nothing turns us off faster. 1
ptp Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Not healthy women, Ptp. Nothing turns us off faster. Maybe you are right, but who wants to date healthy women anyway....psssh 1
oldguy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Quote: Originally Posted by TigerCub I think that's true in the cases of game play and bull**** dating. ...in real and mature relationships its not like that. I agree. It's also true of people who have low self-esteem. When they are rejected, it validates their low opinions of themselves. If someone does want them, it's the old "What's wrong with them if they want me?" As Groucho Marx said, repeated by Woody Allen, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member." Emotionally mature people who do not have self esteem issues are not like this.
Nightsky Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I think the easiest way to get a woman to love you is to really pay attention to her. Make her feel you understand her in ways no else does. Even if you spend a lot of time away from her you can let her know you think of her and she'll never be ignored. That will get her hot. Comming to believe something silly like this tells me you don't do good with the oposite sex. Its like the people who come here and post about being a jerk gets you all the girls. It's an outsiders look in that has been perverted. 1
oldguy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Quote: Originally Posted by TigerCub I think that's true in the cases of game play and bull**** dating. ...in real and mature relationships its not like that. I agree. It's also true of people who have low self-esteem. When they are rejected, it validates their low opinions of themselves. If someone does want them, it's the old "What's wrong with them if they want me?" As Groucho Marx said, repeated by Woody Allen, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member." Emotionally mature people are not like this. Sorry, I tried to edit the first one & this happened
garycoleman Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 All of the pick up artist forum / books says to act aloof or ignore a girl and she will like you. This NEVER works for me. If a girl shows interest and I act aloof, she will get mad and ignore me. If a girl shows interest and I reciprocate the same interest level back, we get a long good.
oldguy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) All of the pick up artist forum / books says to act aloof or ignore a girl and she will like you. This NEVER works for me. If a girl shows interest and I act aloof, she will get mad and ignore me. If a girl shows interest and I reciprocate the same interest level back, we get a long good. Emotionally mature women with a healthy self esteem will not put up with this sort of game playing bs. If you ignore them they wont waste your time. This has become a repeating theme with this thread. Edited March 14, 2012 by oldguy
oldguy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Trust me, I have experienced this, and in my opinion it is SO true. I think more so with girls ignoring guys, just because guys have a more sensitive ego, while girls have more sensitive feelings. I ran across this kit that totally is built off of the same belief... Why Are You Still Single - The Single's Survival Kit Let me know if you agree/disagree This kit is for sale & LS is not a free billboard.
somedude81 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I think the easiest way to get a woman to love you is to really pay attention to her. Make her feel you understand her in ways no else does. Even if you spend a lot of time away from her you can let her know you think of her and she'll never be ignored. That will get her hot. Comming to believe something silly like this tells me you don't do good with the oposite sex. Its like the people who come here and post about being a jerk gets you all the girls. It's an outsiders look in that has been perverted. It may get her to fall in love with you, but it certainly is not going to make her attracted to you or want to date you. If that's all it took, there wouldn't be so many guys struggling.
Nightsky Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 It may get her to fall in love with you, but it certainly is not going to make her attracted to you or want to date you. If that's all it took, there wouldn't be so many guys struggling. Attraction and dating help you get to know some one. I think we're talking about different things you and I . Life is a struggle, take pleasure in living it.
starla33 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 When I was younger guys ignoring me made me chase them, but it never turned out well and ended up badly. Now I obviously know better. I hate game playing and if I show interest in someone and don't ignore them it pisses me off if they assume that I"m needy or clingy! I'm just trying to show interest and be nice. I think the main thing here is girls don't want to come off as clingy. Some guys think 2 texts a day is clingy some guys think a text a day is clingy. You can never win!
Woggle Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I can tell you that whenever I have liked a woman she likes me less and whenever I have ignored a woman she falls in love with me. The one exception is my current wife.
Professor X Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I can tell you that whenever I have liked a woman she likes me less and whenever I have ignored a woman she falls in love with me. Same happens for me all the time.
somedude81 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 When is the right time to break out the games? It seems that if it's done too soon, she'll just walk away. Frankly, I can't even see the point in playing. Is it done as some kind of last ditch effort to regain her interest?
Author Amorfati Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 I've red all the comments and made some conclusions about what people told. ALmsot half of them believe that it's true, whereas rest of the comments are against it. Of course based on some conditions. @Feelin Frisky talked about wanting versus having dynamic. Actually, this was the main argument of my topic. Just the idea of it, but of course it is not true for all of the cases. @Tigerclub said like, Maturity of the relationship is important. if its dating someone you really see a future with. @carhill " if the attraction is based upon appearance, social status and/or economics, more likely to succeed than if based upon personality/emotional stability/behavior." @old guy" Emotionally mature people who do not have self esteem issues are not like this." I agree with them. If two sides see good future in their relationship and they are mature enough to stop playing games and boosting their ego's. Maybe ignoring, works in the beginning of the phase, if you sure about girl/guy really wants you. Because , i dont think anyone will struggle for you , because of nothing. However, I think ignoring was not the right word for this topic. I think it should be something like " not making the other people think like s/he is the only one choice in the world." I know a very nice quote from one famous thinkher, that i cant remember right now. It's something like when you make someone think he is irrevocable, you will be the first one that he will give up.
Romeofud Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I would like to learn what you guys think about it. I have experienced the both of the cases. Unfortunately, I think its true. When you be sure of someone has feelings for you, if you act in reckless way , consciously or unconsciously, the other person becomes more enthusiastic to get you. Oppositely, when you show that you care much about them, they think they got you and seeing no reason to struggle for you. so, whats your experiences say? No doubt bro. I talk to a woman, smirk, then walk off. She always comes running back for more lmao.
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