RioTFF Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 im totally hating life right now. its effing miserable knowing and realizing that someone you loved so much wants nothing to do with you. I feel the exact same way. Its so hard to think about. I'm so tempted to call her-- cause what If she thinks I don't want anything to do with her?
MarlaOryx Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 It's was a month ago today. 26 days NC. That was the last I heard from him. Some days are easier. Others are really hard. I don't break down as much. The agony has subsided to just an underlying feeling of sadness and regret. Vacillating hope and despair. I don't know if he still loves me or not. He must, I'd gather. I still love him. The breakup was so f***ed up. Him pulling away, wanting to see new women (poly relationship, so not a big deal). It was just the way he said it, as if he wanted to keep me around just for sex. Me freaking out and breaking up, then apologizing and offering reconciliation. Him saying no, but maybe we can be friends one day. 26 days. A month from Monday since I got his last email. Nothing since. So confused. Every day. There is that moment when you wake up and feel peaceful. Then you remember. Then you go through it all. If only I had said this or done that...but I didn't say or do those things. The past is gone. The relationship is dead. Although I hope for reconciliation still...the thought of seeing him is terrifying. He = pain right now. 1
ctes300 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 im totally hating life right now. its effing miserable knowing and realizing that someone you loved so much wants nothing to do with you. I had an 8 year relationship end last summer but she didn't leave my house until November. I have had NC since the end of November - so almost 4 months. The realization you made is the same thing that went through my mind yesterday. You'd think this much time goes by and it wont hurt. It still does. I had a good month or two, and overall getting easier and more positive. Recently I saw her in her new BF's car even though he is off to Basic Training for the armed forces(@32 years old). really ticks me off, and brought things back to the surface. I know he can't keep her happy (a 35 year old woman) and will be gone for years. It's clear he's the rebound guy- but that doesn't even matter. It is how she treated me after i had provided for her for so long, and that I mean nothing to her now. I want her to feel as bad as I had, but there's no way for me to ever know that. I'm trying to shift my perspective back to where I was a few weeks ago. The nice weather is helping along with lots of exercise . I've been dating, growing new friendships and doing other things to keep occupied. I hope I can get back to my positive state and stop focusing on her and the negativity associated with feeling unwanted and all your memories really meaning nothing to the person you shared years with.
Numb79 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 It has been 7 weeks of NC for me out of a 5 year relationship. I didn't think it would be this hard considering she lived in another country. Perhaps its more of the emotional bond than physical. I don't know.... I don't know what I am feeling at times... I just know that it sucks! I sometimes find myself drifting back to the days prior when everything fell apart. I know that its not healthy and it probably setting me back. But it just happens.... like it just creeps up on you!! In 7 weeks not even a word from her. Its as if I didn't matter at all. I know its a good thing that she is not pro-longing the process but I just want to know that I meant something!! Its a tough pill to swallow when someone walks out of your life and doesn't even look back. The relationship wasn't perfect..... but what relationship is? I don't even know if I can see the light at the end of this tunnel. I don't even know if I have made any progress! I don't really know anything! I just want it all to stop! I don't know if it ever will!! Reading posts and posting used to help me.... but even that is not helping anymore. I can't get out of the house to do anything because of a fractured heel. I am trapped in my own mind!! I want out! Out of this horrible place!! I want to erase all memories.... just want to forget!!
gotye Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I almost just called him but hung up immediately ugh, part of me thinks he has to miss me but then the other half I know that he won't truly miss me (if he does at all) for a while
gotye Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 everyone here just tells me he won't ever want me back, so I just want to relieve my pain now and talk to him
MarlaOryx Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Talking to him won't relieve your pain. It will cause more. 1
gotye Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Talking to him won't relieve your pain. It will cause more. I dunno, we ended on good terms but ya ya I really want to talk to him about my day and ask about his
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I dunno, we ended on good terms but ya ya I really want to talk to him about my day and ask about his What do you care about his day; he's not jumping hurdles to ask you about yours. No reason to contact him; he has a phone; if he wants to he can call you. Stay strong, people. They are not calling us for a reason; why would we call them? 1
gotye Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 What do you care about his day; he's not jumping hurdles to ask you about yours. No reason to contact him; he has a phone; if he wants to he can call you. Stay strong, people. They are not calling us for a reason; why would we call them? he actually asked tuesday if he could still talk over fb but I told him I cut all ties and to not talk to me for an entire month, then if he wants he can message me but I won't wait for him and I am trying to convince myself when that month ends he will a. not contact me b. he won't have thought of our relationship and realized he wants me back i just have to keep saying; he's not coming back, move on... but it hurts
gotye Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 i pressed call on phone and it rang once and i hung up. he might see that on mixed calls... if he asks... what should I say... I was thinking I should be honest and just say; was feeling down, wish I could have heard about your day, then realized this really isn't a good time for contact
mike588 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 my hardest part is my ex said that "maybe down the road we will get back". so here I am breaking all contact after he said this. NC for 4 weeks... i just hope Im not shooting myself in the foot. Maybe I would have a better chance if I stayed close but not too close? Saying...maybe down the road we will get back is just to let you down easy...to give you some false hope when they know it's really over!
mymission Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 My head is full of memories being re-lived in my mind
budley12 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Saying...maybe down the road we will get back is just to let you down easy...to give you some false hope when they know it's really over! Thats what I was thinking too, but a part of me sincerely thinks he meant it. He has never been with anyone else before so maybe he just wants to see what else is out there before making anything too serious??? Also, we are both studying abroad next semester and he may not want to be "tied down" when he is in london.
flyguy23 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I really want to break NC, its been so long since we spoke about 33 days now. This is by far the longest we have ever gone. I just want to see how she's doing, I don't want her to forget about me and date someone else after 5 years of dating. I feel like if we continue to not talk she will forget about everything we had, this sucks.
gotye Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 it's actually day 5 for me today was wrong ugh I just want to not have to count anymore
Moonless sky Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 im totally hating life right now. its effing miserable knowing and realizing that someone you loved so much wants nothing to do with you. I completely agree with you :'(
Moonless sky Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 It has been 7 weeks of NC for me out of a 5 year relationship. I didn't think it would be this hard considering she lived in another country. Perhaps its more of the emotional bond than physical. I don't know.... I don't know what I am feeling at times... I just know that it sucks! I sometimes find myself drifting back to the days prior when everything fell apart. I know that its not healthy and it probably setting me back. But it just happens.... like it just creeps up on you!! In 7 weeks not even a word from her. Its as if I didn't matter at all. I know its a good thing that she is not pro-longing the process but I just want to know that I meant something!! Its a tough pill to swallow when someone walks out of your life and doesn't even look back. The relationship wasn't perfect..... but what relationship is? I don't even know if I can see the light at the end of this tunnel. I don't even know if I have made any progress! I don't really know anything! I just want it all to stop! I don't know if it ever will!! Reading posts and posting used to help me.... but even that is not helping anymore. I can't get out of the house to do anything because of a fractured heel. I am trapped in my own mind!! I want out! Out of this horrible place!! I want to erase all memories.... just want to forget!! If it makes you feel any better...I feel the same way except my break up just happened. I can't step out of the house, I can't eat nor sleep. I wake up every 3 hours crying. I am going crazy, I just want him to love me the way I love him. I just want him to call me and make things better. We don't deserve this!!!
FeelingLonely98 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 you can email me at [email protected] I'm on day 9 of NC now and determined to get to 30! And I could use some support too!
gotye Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 On day 2 after breaking it, I opened up contact on his side but won't break it
nick d Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Day 14 for me.. Still not getting much better. Especially since someone just had to tell me she is dating someone new. I feel so sick to my stomach everyday thinking about it. And last night I literally didn't get even one minute of sleep! Going to be a very crappy day.
budley12 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Day 14 for me.. Still not getting much better. Especially since someone just had to tell me she is dating someone new. I feel so sick to my stomach everyday thinking about it. And last night I literally didn't get even one minute of sleep! Going to be a very crappy day. same here. after 1month of NC, and 4months into the break up, ex made his new relationship "facebook official" and since this is his 2nd relationship I know it is not a rebound (he also waited this long to see if he was truly over me and wanting to start something new)... it hurts so much. Nick try taking Melatonin pills for sleep. natural herb - you can buy them at walmart. It is the only way I can sleep at night.
gotye Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I turned off my phone, knowing he would be on break now, so I don't hope for shiz
gotye Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 day 3... week and a half since breakup if he is going to have second thoughts about his decision it would be around now
robkris8079 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 right now is the absolute worst on wanting to contact her. I feel like an addict, I'm craving some sort of interaction. I don't know why but this hit me all of a sudden. I'm on day 15 NC. She texted me a picture of herself making a funny face exactly one week ago and was last time heard from her.
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