bluewolf17 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 That makes me wonder if part of the reason so many people want to hear from their EX even if they dont care about them is just to prove they are strong and can hold to NC and show their ex they have moved on (Whether they have or not is another story) Could be. Obviously, I also want a apololgy and a on hands and needs beg for forgiveness speech, but that's not going to happen.
lovelylashes Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 definitely an ego boost. I finally realised i couldnt see a future with my ex but it didnt stop me from checking my phone to see if he had text. That way i would know he was thinking of me, and who doesnt feel good when they know someone is thinking of them, even if my ex is the most pathetic egotistical loser on the planet.
radiodarcy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Hope I can get to that point! Where I just don't give a F***....in one way I do, then I don't. My guy best friend of 3 years, who is now my new bf, will be moving to my town in 3 weeks so hopefully he will help me erase the exbf from my mind bc obviously the exbf has a new gf who is helping him obviously. It was a mind game tug of war we had going there for a while. Even though I do care for my bf I have now, I just don't want to bring all of this bitterness into the new relationship, so maybe it's best that the exbf doesn't contact me because it's just going to harbor feelings and f*** with my mind and heart. Do I want the exbf back? No because my bf now, has shown me that he's more of a MAN than the exbf was. Oh wait, the exbf wasn't a REAL man! Ugh. Thank the LORD for this board, I'd be driving myself nuts if it wasn't for checking this place out! It's good to know that I am NOT alone out there. yeah - - i think one of the things that helped me move on once and for all was hearing from him about three months ago. he felt the need to contact me to tell me his new gf is pregnant with his kid and due in may of this year. i'm not going to lie. it threw me for a loop. but after a few days i was over it. even though they're not getting married - - they are still together. so - - they may as well be married anyway - - at least in my book. that being said - - had i not had close to 8 months of NC under my belt when i found this out - - hearing it would have set me all the way back to day one.
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 That makes me wonder if part of the reason so many people want to hear from their EX even if they dont care about them is just to prove they are strong and can hold to NC and show their ex they have moved on (Whether they have or not is another story) I think that's what I was trying to say ....just to show him that everytime he texts or calls, I ain't giving in. He kept saying a few times, "be strong, be strong, we are gonna work this out one way or another", blah blah blah...some days I am "strong" cause I think of the reasons why NOT to go back to that "old" life.....its pathetic feeling that way, then there's some moments where I feel like crying, and I do....one thing I've noticed is a few times recently when I did do my own bawling, he texts LOL. But this is the 3rd day of NC, I feel a little sad bc for once, just want to SHOW him that I'm not "weak"...I want to prove him wrong just for my own healing and satisfaction.
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 definitely an ego boost. I finally realised i couldnt see a future with my ex but it didnt stop me from checking my phone to see if he had text. That way i would know he was thinking of me, and who doesnt feel good when they know someone is thinking of them, even if my ex is the most pathetic egotistical loser on the planet. I can undertand what you are saying .....it's like, it would be nice to know that they are "thinking" of us enough to text or call...but then maybe they realize that if they do that, it's going to slow our healing process down OR their own OR both....I actually miss talking to my ex sometimes bc he always put a smile on my face when I'd be upset about something, so I feel like I've lost that chance of a "frienship" but at the same time, the wound is still fresh...dull.
Lil1 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 This is a tough question for me to really think about. One the one hand, I do wish my ex would contact me because it would be nice to know that he remembers and cares enough to know how I am. However, I know that I'm not over him, and as much as I hate admitting this, if he called me and I was to learn he is happy with someone else it would crush me. So I guess I would rather just not know anything. Maybe after a few years have passed I will feel differently.
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 yeah - - i think one of the things that helped me move on once and for all was hearing from him about three months ago. he felt the need to contact me to tell me his new gf is pregnant with his kid and due in may of this year. i'm not going to lie. it threw me for a loop. but after a few days i was over it. even though they're not getting married - - they are still together. so - - they may as well be married anyway - - at least in my book. that being said - - had i not had close to 8 months of NC under my belt when i found this out - - hearing it would have set me all the way back to day one. Omg...now WTF did he feel that he had to twist that crap in your face like that? Ugh. I'm sure you rather not have known.....I don't see a reason he had to tell you that...that news is surely enough to put you right back to square one...I hate it for you Ugh.
radiodarcy Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Omg...now WTF did he feel that he had to twist that crap in your face like that? Ugh. I'm sure you rather not have known.....I don't see a reason he had to tell you that...that news is surely enough to put you right back to square one...I hate it for you Ugh. *sigh* because that's who he is: my guess is he was pissed off i had been ignoring him all that time and wanted to throw it in my face. of course he started flirting with me right after telling me that. needless to say - - i didn't take the bait
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 This is a tough question for me to really think about. One the one hand, I do wish my ex would contact me because it would be nice to know that he remembers and cares enough to know how I am. However, I know that I'm not over him, and as much as I hate admitting this, if he called me and I was to learn he is happy with someone else it would crush me. So I guess I would rather just not know anything. Maybe after a few years have passed I will feel differently. I can understand that...my exbf has a new gf, met her a month ago and 3 weeks ago, they are living together....I have a new bf (my male best friend of 3 years)....the difference is I've known my bf now for 3 years and he's fixing to move from another state to mine.....he only met this girl a MONTH ago and they are already living together. She is just a rebound and I told him that. It did kinda crush me when he told me he was moving in with her and I was like ......"wow, didn't take you long, and you tell me that you loved me"...blah blah......
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 *sigh* because that's who he is: my guess is he was pissed off i had been ignoring him all that time and wanted to throw it in my face. of course he started flirting with me right after telling me that. needless to say - - i didn't take the bait omg...flirting!?!?!?! ......ugh....good for you!!!
lovelylashes Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Yeah my ex used to make me laugh and smile too, but after all the times i texted him and tried to make contact i realised he wasnt the person i used to know. It was only when i met up with him though that i thought ugh hes turned into such a vile, cold person. After that it became easier to stick to no contact. Still get days where i think of the laughs we had before i snap out of it and realise those days are long gone.
lovelylashes Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I can undertand what you are saying .....it's like, it would be nice to know that they are "thinking" of us enough to text or call...but then maybe they realize that if they do that, it's going to slow our healing process down OR their own OR both....I actually miss talking to my ex sometimes bc he always put a smile on my face when I'd be upset about something, so I feel like I've lost that chance of a "frienship" but at the same time, the wound is still fresh...dull. Yeah my ex used to make me laugh and smile too, but after all the times i texted him and tried to make contact i realised he wasnt the person i used to know. It was only when i met up with him though that i thought ugh hes turned into such a vile, cold person. After that it became easier to stick to no contact. Still get days where i think of the laughs we had before i snap out of it and realise those days are long gone.
Follower Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 God yes, every time my phone rings i pause to go, "this might be her", everytime i get an email i go "This might be her" by the time it gets to the end of the day i feel like crap why? because today wasnt the day the only thing that gets me through each day right now is the thought that tommorow might be the day she wants to start speaking to me again. I know im lying to myself but you know what? It works and it lets be focus on me. I love her i always will, i know this, im dealing with it the only way i can, Moving on slowly. 3 months and 5 days NC and still counting. Still want to contact her, still wishes she would stop being so stubborn and contact me but what can we do...
ThatDudeXO Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I do, everyday. I hope she becomes that person she used to be. So she could be more loving and caring towards me but I guess that'll never happen. I know if she calls me the way she is now, I will simply tell her we cannot be friends at all. I never knew people could change like that. Never.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Only if it's to genuinely take responsibility for exactly what she did to start the break-up rolling. Other than that I don't want to hear someone who is just getting lonely again and has no clue that there was and is a recurring issue. That may make me sound like I don't think I'm capable of being at fault but I treasure my commitments and one is to never be the source of ill-will, infidelity or rash assumption. And if I break those, which I haven't, I will take every responsibility for it. I'm very disciplined that way. 2
bluewolf17 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 My Ex (of quite some time ago) recently ended a relationship. We have gone back and forth and always agreed when we were both single, we wanted to try because the chemistry/connection/love was still there. In January he texted me after 2 months NC letting me know he broke up with her/that he thought about me all the time/that he always wondered "what if" with me, and that even when he was happy with her, he knew he would be happier with me. But guess what? After two meetups and many phone calls, he tells me I am just a friend, and he decided to try and get her back, that he still loves her. Well she moved on after 3 weeks and has a brand new boyfriend. But guess what..he is still not contacting me. I say, hey, you see me as a friend, you didn't want to try, then NC for you. He can be all alone. Kind of sucks though, in two weeks NC all I got was one bread crumb text message.
bluewolf17 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 God yes, every time my phone rings i pause to go, "this might be her", everytime i get an email i go "This might be her" by the time it gets to the end of the day i feel like crap why? because today wasnt the day the only thing that gets me through each day right now is the thought that tommorow might be the day she wants to start speaking to me again. I know im lying to myself but you know what? It works and it lets be focus on me. I love her i always will, i know this, im dealing with it the only way i can, Moving on slowly. 3 months and 5 days NC and still counting. Still want to contact her, still wishes she would stop being so stubborn and contact me but what can we do... I don't mean to sound rude, but I hope that after 3 months 5 days I don't feel like you do.. I mean, three months and you still check your phone and email? That's heart ache.
mike588 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I dont know about everyone else, but for some reason I hope my ex tries to contact me. Even though I wouldn't respond, I think it would just make me feel good. I changed my number and deleted Facebook, but I still find myself checking my email everyday.. Even though I'm sure she'll never contact me.. I'm just dumb like that I guess. Like others have posted here I too so wanted my ex. g/f to contact me for several reasons...to apoligize and or wanting me back. I constantly checked my email and if my phone was water proof I would have taken it in the shower with me hoping she would call. Well almost 7 months went by and I gave up any hope of hearing from her then out of the blue she contacts me several times (emails, note) saying how sorry she was...how she regreted what she did...acknowledging how well I treated her blah blah blah. I had pretty much completely healed before her contacts and gotta tell you it really set me back...it stirred up all those emotions again that I had worked so hard to put behind me. That was 3 weeks ago and I'm finally getting over her AGAIN!!! We all hope somewhere in our heart that they will contact us someday but it's best that they don't. 1
gotye Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 i do i told him he has to wait a month and then and only after than he may contact me and tell me what he found out during that month
Octavius Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Dumped out of blue\she feels terrible about doing it we talk a lot the next day but she says she needs time. 2 days later she goes NC and a month later I try and try to initiate contact and eventually get a short cold response. 3.5 months NC later and 0 breadcrumbs. I'm pursuing 2 other girls right now but truthfully I'd rather have the ex back.
Author nick d Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Dumped out of blue\she feels terrible about doing it we talk a lot the next day but she says she needs time. 2 days later she goes NC and a month later I try and try to initiate contact and eventually get a short cold response. 3.5 months NC later and 0 breadcrumbs. I'm pursuing 2 other girls right now but truthfully I'd rather have the ex back. I'm in the same boat. Except I've only been NC for 9 days.. I'm pursuing another girl, but id rather have my ex back. The way she used to be. Not the new her..
mississippimom Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 Dumped out of blue\she feels terrible about doing it we talk a lot the next day but she says she needs time. 2 days later she goes NC and a month later I try and try to initiate contact and eventually get a short cold response. 3.5 months NC later and 0 breadcrumbs. I'm pursuing 2 other girls right now but truthfully I'd rather have the ex back. Why would you want her back though?
mississippimom Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I'm in the same boat. Except I've only been NC for 9 days.. I'm pursuing another girl, but id rather have my ex back. The way she used to be. Not the new her.. That's odd u say that bc a while later after we broke up, my ex says this: "I wish I had the old (my name) back, the way you used to be" "I went WTF, I'm still me, I just got tired of being unhappy."
Follower Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 I don't mean to sound rude, but I hope that after 3 months 5 days I don't feel like you do.. I mean, three months and you still check your phone and email? That's heart ache. You are not kidding, hurts like HELL, but im trucking on, in the words of Finding Nemo "Just keep swimming".
Author nick d Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 Yeah but see, my ex went from being a sweet, nice, good girl to a party and get drunk everynight and hook up with random guys type.. She always said how much she hated bars/clubs etc.. Now she goes out every night to the clubs.
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