waitingfordecember Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Greetings everyone, Tonight I went through my most difficult relationship experience ever. I broke up with my boyfriend of eight months. He returned my things, I returned his. The relationship had many ups and many downs, it was definitely a rollarcoaster. The ride has ended, but I'm feeling more hurt and cheated than ever. Throughout the relationship he was very, very selfish but it this was the crown jewel. In the past, my boyfriend had communcation issues and a couple of times stopped calling me, because he had "nothing to say." The second time he did it, it lasted up to a month - few calls, and we didn't do a single thing. We decided to stay together though. Friday of last week, he started to ignore me again. I called, called and called and no answer. I was just out of surgury and needed some support and affection, but got nothing. I decided after Sunday it was over, if I ever got a hold of him. Last night, through a serious of sneaky and random events I found out that he's been cheating on me with a fellow named Zack and that he considers Zack his boyfriend. This was the icing on the cake. I called him immediately and yelled on his answering machine that I wanted my stuff back tonight. He got the message and decided to MSN me a reply. According to him, he could never explain and I would never understand. When I accused him of cheating (which I'm 99% sure of) he said his dad was dying of cancer. I did some checking up on that, and it wasn't true. Tonight, he refused to be honest and stuck to his stories. I told him that I never wanted to see him, know him or talk to him again. He seemed totally beyond my feelings, saying: "I have nothing to say. You've already made up your mind." And now I'm totally cheated and heartbroken. I know I'll eventually heal, but I would really like the truth for closure purposes. Will he ever contact me again? Is he feeling guilty? Should I completly sever contact with him and his friends? I'm not sure where to go from here...
Fakir Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 It sounds like you're well out of that relationship even though it may not feel like it right now. Try not to look back. In the longer term I think that the reasons will seem less important to you and I certainly wouldn't recommend trying to wangle them out of him. I see you are a film maker. Now would be a great time to write a script or launch yourself into some other creative endeavor. If you turn the situation on its head by creating something worthwhile the only person who looses will be him.
fluffy Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Something very similar happened to me (check "together for 4 years...dumped me for another girl" in Coping). I am still in shock, because i don´t understand why all of this happen... But i did called him a couple of days later to know the truth, and as you say, to get some closure. it helped a little, but then more and more questions popped in my head. Any way, for me it has been a little over two weeks of no contact, and i wonder every second of every day if he is thinking about me, if he misses me, if he regrets what he did and if he is feeling guilty. But i just don´t know... I just hope that he es so ashamed of what he did to me that that is the reason for his no contact. Still, some days like today i just feel so sad and weak, that i am tempted to call him to know what he is thinking. I know you believe you deserve some explanation, some closure, and you do!, but if you plan to call him to ask him why just be prepared, because maybe he won´t answer your call, or maybe he would be rude with you. If everything works well, you will get some of the answer that you need, but know that this won´t make everything less painful. Good luck, and i hope you post here what you decide to do.
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