minee Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I broke up with my bf after being together for 1 year. We both were really good about NC (he definitely followed the NC also). I told myself that I would follow the 30 day no contact rule and it was EXTREMELY painful and excruciatingly hard. But I managed and last week my 30 days were done. My time was done and I felt great. I went to the gym regularly and went to work and it wasn't so painful anymore. Well I needed to pick up some stuff from my ex and decided since I successfully finished the NC in 30days I can call him to ask for it back. He suggested that we meet for coffee and he will drop it off. During coffee, all the emotions, the feelings of longing, the love, everything came pouring back. And now, I'm home thinking CRAP I am back to square 1. He obviously doesn't feel the same because its been a week and he hasn't called. Now i feel even worse than I did 30 days ago!!! How does that happen?? All that hard work, the getting up in the morning with no energy, lack of appetite, all of it just went down the drain and now, I feel like S***. Has anyone experienced this?
Bishop90 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 yes i have and i know eXACTLY how you feel. i broke the nc rule with my gf of 2 yrs. i broke up with her and then i went thru weak moments and called her. she doesnt feel the same and kicked me out her house when i went to see her. It happenes and it hurts. just do things to try to take your mind off of it..u did thirty days so u can most definitely do it again. remember it is never too late to re initiate the nc rule if he comes back it was meant to be if not keep the nc strong or youll find yourself hurting over and over like you are now.
rAFC Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Were you the dumper or the dumpee? Either way, there is no 30 day no contact rule (except maybe to the peddlers of some get-your-ex-back scheme). No contact is for as long as it takes you to move on, and it will almost always be more than 30 days if you were actually in love. I have been in no contact with my recent ex for almost 2 months now and have no intention of contacting her anytime soon, if EVER. For me anyway, if I truly love someone I really never stop loving them, I just learn to live my life without them.
Author minee Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 i think that's what confuses me the most! After finishing my 30 days of no contact I remember feeling OK. I wasn't completely over him but I wasn't hurting anymore when I thought of him. I was able to get out of bed in the morning and not have to drag myself to work. I was eating properly and going out with friends. I was on the right track. I thought I was strong enough to handle it. Maybe I should have asked my ex if he wanted to get back with me.. or perhaps we should've discussed it. Maybe I should call him to talk about a possibility of reconciliation?? What if he's thinking I didn't want to be with him anymore. (I broke it off with him because he messed up. We were both at a bar and we were both really drunk. We got into a fight and he just left me at the bar by myself)
rAFC Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 i think that's what confuses me the most! After finishing my 30 days of no contact I remember feeling OK. I wasn't completely over him but I wasn't hurting anymore when I thought of him. I was able to get out of bed in the morning and not have to drag myself to work. I was eating properly and going out with friends. I was on the right track. I thought I was strong enough to handle it. Maybe I should have asked my ex if he wanted to get back with me.. or perhaps we should've discussed it. Maybe I should call him to talk about a possibility of reconciliation?? What if he's thinking I didn't want to be with him anymore. (I broke it off with him because he messed up. We were both at a bar and we were both really drunk. We got into a fight and he just left me at the bar by myself) The really bad part usually only lasts a week or two for me, but the final stretch can last a very long time. If you want him back, it is up to you to try to make that happen (as the dumper). However, unless both of you agree to work on the issues that led to the breakup, it is bound to happen again. Good luck!
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