freetolove Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I've posted here about being friends with my ex bf might be hurting my relationships but it's also stopping me from growing. My career has been growing very quickly and my ex, let's call him bob. Bob and I have been best friends for over 10 years. I've dated for 5 broke up, didn't talk to each other for about a year and we became friends again. Fast forward a few years ,it's now, we see other people but we do spend a considerable amount of time together. Lately, I've been looking to move about an hour away (drive) for a new job. Bob is a smart guy but isn't exactly proactive. I've had to manage much of his career. I don't mind but a part of me also feels like if I bring him with me, I won't grow but a part of me feels like if I go on my own, I won't be happy. Either way, I know I need to let him go but I also don't know, would love you advice!
flitzanu Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 you're having your cake and eating it too. your life is your own, and you're caring WAY too much about your ex boyfriend. yes, i get it, you're close. but he's your FRIEND. if you aren't dating him, or marrying him, quit figuring him into the equation of your life.
Author freetolove Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 that part I already figured out. HOW is the question.
flitzanu Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 that part I already figured out. HOW is the question. i'm not sure i understand the question. you just do it. you say "hey dude i'm moving away for my job, we'll stay in touch, kbye." you're still trying to make this into a breakup, and it isn't, you're just friends, and neither of you owe any obligation to the other, you're free in society to walk away from a friend (just the same as a relationship actually). if he can't be a big boy without you around, that's his fault, not yours. if you can't be a big girl without him around, then you need to really reconsider your thoughts and feelings about this "friendship" with him.
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