swift720 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 let me start by saying my wife and i have been married since sept 21 2004 but have been together officially since 2001 but in each others lives since dec 20 1996. we have 2 beautiful boys together one 9yrs and the other 6yrs. we have been seperated for about 4yrs. however until june of 2011 we were still sexually active with each other. the problems began with me...whenever a problem would arise bewteen us instead of facing it with her i would run from it and break up with her only to come back a few months later. this happened 3 times during our marriage with the 3rd being the final one. we filed for divorce but never paid the court fees so we are still legally married. even with all of the on and off i always been in love with my wife and i still am! as time went on she started seeing someone in june of 2011. she just turned 33yrs and he is 28yrs. throughout their short relationship he has been caught cheating 3 times and she has taken him back each time. seeing her with someone other than me is killing me and i want us to work on saving this marriage but she doesnt want to because she feels as if she wants to be with this kid who she cant trust. even with us being on and off i never once went to another woman...but she has gone to another man. i cry and cry and cry all the time because i want my way back. i do not want to go another day without her being the last thing i see at night and the first thing i see when i wake up. she does not want to get back together and i just dont know what to do? i want her and no one else. i have poured my heart out to her on many occassions but have had no success. what should i do?
worldgonewrong Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 the problems began with me...whenever a problem would arise bewteen us instead of facing it with her i would run from it and break up with her only to come back a few months later. this happened 3 times during our marriage with the 3rd being the final one. i do not want to go another day without her being the last thing i see at night and the first thing i see when i wake up. she does not want to get back together and i just dont know what to do? i want her and no one else. i have poured my heart out to her on many occassions but have had no success. what should i do? Do you see how these 2 things contradict each other, and how your wife would most likely NOT believe that you want her as much as you claim? She wanted to break the cycle, and it looks like she did finally. I'm not accusing you, mind you. Just laying out what you've presented and how a wife would probably be really reluctant to re-visit the same road she's already been down previous times.
Author swift720 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 thanks for the commment and i do see your point WGW. however, realizing this myself i began going to counseling by myself to help me not be that way anymore. the major thing that seemed to be the root of my "running away" discovered by the therapist i was seeing was the fact that when my mother past away i never faced it. meaning the night she was rushed to the hospital i did not go straight there because i was a ffraid. i went to my best friend's house and when i told him she was taken to the ER he went with me there and it was too late by the time we got there. from that point on is when the running away from things started. i dont even go to the cemetery to vist her grave. as the sessions went on the therapist helped me gain courage to face my fears and/or problems. this is why i truly believe that i have changed and if given the chance would never leave my wife again.
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