tornangel Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I split with my ex a month ago. A week after we split he found another girl, online 30 hours away. I waited 6 mo for him while he was deployed and he came back and ignored me , saying he wanted to be with people who actually cared. I split with him because he kept accusing me of stuff and drove me crazy (controlling). He never even told me he was coming back, We have a son together, and his mom was watching him when he came home. So then he sent me fb message few days ago saying he missed me and its hard. He hid his new gf from me, which is wat he did with me to his ex. SO i see a pattern. he was really abusive to me. I sent his new gf a message saying he was abusive and to watch out and I have proof. But she has not responded. Anyways here is the message he sent me.. i really dont want u to hate me and im not gonna hate u. i want u to be happy u deserve to be happy. and u cant be happy with me. i really dont wish to fight. and i dont wnat u to be hatefull to me anymore. i wanna get along So, I am confused what to do. We do have a son, so while part of me wants to completely ignore him or respong by telling him to screw off. I dont know.. I dont want to get hurt again . And feel my best defense is a strong one. Wht do we need to be damn friends anyways. I feel like I can not trust him at all. I am trying to heal on my own, and I feel like he is keeping me from it... And why has he decided to be nice and give a crap who hates who now, when he threatened to kill me during our relationship and degraded me constantly before?
Kaotic Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I would say be civil for the sake of your child, but guard yourself. You seem smart and like you are keepin your distance and you need to keep it that way. Often abusive people will play up the sorry card and then just continue their behavior. Don't get caught up in his BS. Good for you for staying away.
CaliBabe Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 You don't have to do anything. Co-parent for the sake of your son, but thats it. Move on, let him live with what hes done.
rootless Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I would say be civil for the sake of your child, but guard yourself. You seem smart and like you are keepin your distance and you need to keep it that way. Often abusive people will play up the sorry card and then just continue their behavior. Don't get caught up in his BS. Good for you for staying away. Seconded. Maintain a superficial, civil relationship for the sake of your son, and keep it strictly limited it to that. I'd also think about getting the authorities involved and making sure there's some kind of outside supervision during visits. This guy threatened your life. That's EXCEEDINGLY eff'd up. Personally, I'd have a tough time tolerating ANY involvement with someone who could threaten me like that, and I *certainly* wouldn't let them near my child without someone keeping an eye on them.
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