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Short relationship but doesn't hurt any less

Kitty84

By Kitty84
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

Posted
Posted

Afraid I agree with CaliBabe, you've been offered some great advice but you've chosen to ignore it all. I know how bad things can be but unless you take control of all this then nothing will ever change.

 

This ex of yours no longer cares and is laughing at you, I know I would be by now. I mean, he treats you like dirt and you still come running. Surely you can see that.

 

Being nice to you isn't helping so we need to be harsh. If you can't take our advice then you're wasting your time being here and you might as well run back to him.

 

The choice is yours. We all want you to better yourself and see yourself as worthy of more, but you have so little self respect. Only you can take all that back, but only if you truly want to...

 

Good luck, I think you need it.

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Jdw_Icequeen Established Member

Jdw_Icequeen

Posted
Posted

I've been playing the dating game myself for a while.. I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months.. I am kind of in your boat as I think about him constantly but he continues to blow hot and cold. He also just got out of a long term relationship and "dosen't want to get hurt again"..

 

What its really just an excuse. Everyone needs there "healing time" and to decide wether or not they're going to take the risk of a new relationship.

But what we don't need is to put up with the games these ppl play.

 

This guy hasn't come to you like an adult and talked to you about it to work things out. You need to ignore him! You've tried going to him the ball is in his court! For god sakes don't sleep with this guy again he is acting like a little boy. If he can get what he wants from you without having to give anything in return he will!! FREE Car! Who wants a free car? This guy is just messing with your emotions at this point.. Everyone gets hurt..

 

I really like this guy alot.. I have made that clear to him but he is confused and can't make up his mind and one minute he seems to want a future next thing he backs off. After a discussion the other night I may have said more then I should have said lol.. In all reality though if I have to walk on eggshells and play games with a guy he isn't worth the time. We barley spoke yesterday after the talk and not at all today.. So what am I going to do? I am going to ignore him. I'm not going to continuously give my efforts to someone who won't give it back. If I never hear from him again.. It wasn't meant to be.. Good luck my dear..

  • Like 1
volkl1996 Established Member

volkl1996

Posted
Posted
I've been playing the dating game myself for a while.. I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months.. I am kind of in your boat as I think about him constantly but he continues to blow hot and cold. He also just got out of a long term relationship and "dosen't want to get hurt again"..

 

What its really just an excuse. Everyone needs there "healing time" and to decide wether or not they're going to take the risk of a new relationship.

But what we don't need is to put up with the games these ppl play.

 

This guy hasn't come to you like an adult and talked to you about it to work things out. You need to ignore him! You've tried going to him the ball is in his court! For god sakes don't sleep with this guy again he is acting like a little boy. If he can get what he wants from you without having to give anything in return he will!! FREE Car! Who wants a free car? This guy is just messing with your emotions at this point.. Everyone gets hurt..

 

I really like this guy alot.. I have made that clear to him but he is confused and can't make up his mind and one minute he seems to want a future next thing he backs off. After a discussion the other night I may have said more then I should have said lol.. In all reality though if I have to walk on eggshells and play games with a guy he isn't worth the time. We barley spoke yesterday after the talk and not at all today.. So what am I going to do? I am going to ignore him. I'm not going to continuously give my efforts to someone who won't give it back. If I never hear from him again.. It wasn't meant to be.. Good luck my dear..

 

I am "this guy" in my current situation. I met her about 6 weeks ago, she went full speed ahead..wanted to see each other as much as we could, texting me all day, making plans for us. Future plans, like 2+ months from now. She has us at month 6 waaaay too soon.

 

I like her a lot and I care for her. I have been very upfront and honest with her with how I am feeling. I need balance inmy life right now and i simply cannot give her all that she needs. She still wants to keep dating though.....

Jdw_Icequeen Established Member

Jdw_Icequeen

Posted
Posted

Well hopefully she will back off a bit and give you the space you need. In my situation I didn't want to go full speed ahead. He even wanted to go ahead and make me his gf before I thought we were ready.. Thing is I don't mind going slow.. Its the hot and cold game that gets annoying.

 

One minute your affectionate and holding my hand the next it feels more like a fwb situation because of his issues.. I have enough of my own issues. I just want to be on the right path. Somtimes we txt all day somtimes we don't but I usually don't initiate it. Going with the flow is good.. Just don't drowned in it.

RetroFan00 Member

RetroFan00

Posted
Posted (edited)

It's clear that he doesn't have the utmost respect for you, and is using you as a doormat because you're allowing him to do so. He's playing on your neediness and because you haven't stood your ground with him, he may feel that there aren't going to be any repercussions for his behavior; so he continues to treat you as if you're nothing more than an option. Sure, there are individuals who are emotionally unavailable, but not all of them resort to treating the other individual they're involved with like trash either. But in the case of the guy you're dealing with, he sounds like an all-out immature turd and what you don't seem to realize is that you're enabling his behavior toward you by continuing to put up with it. So while you're sitting there feeling sorry for yourself and deeming yourself as weak, he's probably relishing in it.

 

For two months last year, I went through what you're going through right now. I had finally grown tired, and made the decision that I'd rather be single than deal with the games (and his possessive/controlling antics). I knew that it was toxic, but I didn't want to face up to it. Then I finally reached a breaking point, and I realized that it wasn't worth it. But by that time, he ended up dumping ME in order to counterbalance the fact that I had dumped him for a second and final time. However, I used this site to purge my feelings and now I'm past it and I've moved on.

 

No one can force you to take control of the situation, and nip it in the bud. All we can do is provide you with our opinions and advice. Whatever you choose to do or choose not to do, that will be your decision.

Edited by RetroFan00
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