NiceguyPrototype Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Ok ppl, need some help. I'll make this as short as possible: Never had a significant interest in women, as I didnt find any that I was attracted to (physically and emotionally). I was actually happy being alone, had my stuff, work, hobbies, friends going on and my weak moments were VERY rare...last year I thought I'd give it a last shot and reluctantly tried out an online dating site lol. Had some dates, but meh. Just the usual blah, smalltalk, facade, tactics, looking for mr right... So, short before deleting my account I had a final date and probably met the woman I've been dreaming of. Different in every aspect, we met a couple of times and I told her stuff not even close friends know about me (not "early dating compatible"). Even though I had a good time, in the retrospection it felt more like job interviews. I had no control over the conversation which I never experienced before. For some reason completely unknown to me, it seems she really likes me for who I am. She has a strong, independent personality, kind of tough and definately had her share with men (on a negative note) On the other hand I have nothing to provide in this relationship. Dont get me wrong, I'm smart, humorous, somewhat wealthy and so on, but when it comes to women its point blank. I can CERTAINLY not fullfill her expectations as a woman and due to her being independent and career driven she also doesnt need someone to provide. I have to assume she is aware of both facts. basically, even though I should feel good...I don't. I see a high risk of her dumping me at any time and it seems I cant accept the thought that she could actually fall in love with me at a later stage. I feel like being in an extremely weak position which is kind of unacceptable for my mind. So I'm inclined to abort any further contact to be on a safe side where I feel comfortable again and get my stuff done as before. It's paradoxical. Any ideas?
TaraMaiden Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 i believe you need to see an analyst. I'm serious, you have some weird conflicts going on here, and i think you might benefit from some professional input. Might you be asexual? ie, completely neutral and disinterested in a connection of any intimate kind?
Author NiceguyPrototype Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 yeah that thought crossed my mind too. However my main problem is not to try this out and get dumped (I could handle that), but the gossip that might evolve around this (could easily kill my career).
TaraMaiden Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 what 'gossip'? And why would it do that? I'm sorry, I don't follow....
Author NiceguyPrototype Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 In order to get this to work I'd obviously need to lay down all cards on the table to this woman. I'm on the verge of being promoted to the executive board of our organization. As a matter of fact it's already strange that I'm a "bachelor" in this kind of position, but if any of the above would surface I could quit on that very day. Might sound strange, but anyone acting on these levels of hierarchy knows what I'm talking about (and work is something I have a lot of experience with).
TaraMaiden Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 If anything, I understand even less.... Are you saying that finding a SO on a dating site would be considered prejudicial to your professional advancement? you're kidding...... right? Surely, that's the way things are going at the moment.... I have a feeling you're projecting your own prejudice or maybe, even... shame?...onto this. Maybe it's because I'm not a corporate American employee.... but if I was this lady, i'd be a bit offended by this attitude.....
Author NiceguyPrototype Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 I know it's a rhetorical question, but to clarify, I'm not kidding. It's not the usage of online dating sites, it's the fact that I have no experience whatsoever. The knowledge about this is dangerous for me. I'm not entirely sure if I understand correctly, why would she be offended?
TaraMaiden Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 experience in what? "Dangerous" how...? first of all, how old are you? Secondly - and please believe me, i'm not being insulting - are you inferring you're a virgin? thirdly - she would be insulted if you found revealing that you met on a website embarrassing and a potential brake on your career... she may feel you're inferring she's an inferior choice, having found her on the internet.....
Author NiceguyPrototype Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 I'm in my early thirties, and yes I have no experience with women inculding your second question (no insult taken). I'm a bit surprised that you do not recognize the danger this information implies for me. As mentioned it's not the "source" of how I got to know her. If I'd consider her to be an "inferior" choice there would be no need for this thread as I wouldn't be interested.
ComMan Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 OP, don't listen to TaraMaiden. it is well known that she is borderline retarded.
TaraMaiden Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 It depends what type of work you're in.... A manager i used to have,was 48 and he was a virgin. seriously - nobody gave a damn. I really don't see why it should even be a problem. i mean, how would they find out? how would it become their business - unless you actually told them? Most personal lives stay exactly that. Personal. People can't tell just by looking at you, that you've never had sex.... so i don't see how this would come into the public domain or even need to be discussed.....
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