counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I would love to have a friendship with a girl where there's mutual care and emotional support, without sex. However, in my experience, whenever I have treated a female friend with a lot of love and supported her whenever she needed, it was never reciprocated. Being friends with some of the girls who have boyfriends was even worse, in my experience, as they tried to turn me into what their boyfriends were never. I'll read the thread properly before I reply further.
Author RedRobin Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Egh to me it seems like many men think if they aren't having sex with her there's no reason to interact with a woman extensively. Seems like many men think if they offer emotional support to a woman regardless of not being in a relationship she owes you sex. That if I give a woman emotional support I should get sexual release. This attitude also comes up in regards to paying for a woman as thinking it correlates to paying for her body. ... and having many male friends and having relationships not work that went in with the best of intentions... I'll say that part of that attitude isn't all men's fault. They are rewarded by society to get sex (to pull a theme from another thread). If they are kind and loving, they are called 'emasculated' and wussy boys. A 'real' man just wants to f*ck and doesn't have to manage his emotional health any other way. Of course, we all know that isn't true. Because a man's ability to maintain a relationship depends very much on their ability to manage their emotional well-being in other ways besides sex. Same goes for women, but in the reverse. One doesn't need to overthink every request for sex. We are multidimensional. It IS fun to be the raunchy bad girl... 1
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I would love to have a friendship with a girl where there's mutual care and emotional support, without sex. However, in my experience, whenever I have treated a female friend with a lot of love and supported her whenever she needed, it was never reciprocated. Being friends with some of the girls who have boyfriends was even worse, in my experience, as they tried to turn me into what their boyfriends were never. I'll read the thread properly before I reply further. Bit odd response to in response to the OP and thread title of "why having male friends is better than having a relationship with them"...at least to me Unless you're implying the reason why the OP's thread title is that is because she like all your female friends don't reciprocate the care and support her guy friends give her..?.. As you've never had mutuality with female friends perhaps you it's best suited trying to see if it's your female picking skills, what you're attracted to in female friends, or what you attracted. Did you stay long in these friendships after the first few times no reciprocation occurred it occurred?
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I'll say that part of that attitude isn't all men's fault. They are rewarded by society to get sex (to pull a theme from another thread). If they are kind and loving, they are called 'emasculated' and wussy boys. A 'real' man just wants to f*ck and doesn't have to manage his emotional health any other way. Agree It IS fun to be the raunchy bad girl...
Author RedRobin Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 ... and any man with half a brain can figure that out about me... it's just too bad that they aren't willing to spend more time focused on what is on my shoulders... Or they let their fear oblige them to do stupid things like 'multidate' because someone said that makes them more attractive or they can't possibly let one of their 'options' go for even the few weeks it might take to establish my trust in them. Oh well.
counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Bit odd response to in response to the OP and thread title of "why having male friends is better than having a relationship with them"...at least to me Unless you're implying the reason why the OP's thread title is that is because she like all your female friends don't reciprocate the care and support her guy friends give her..?.. As you've never had mutuality with female friends perhaps you it's best suited trying to see if it's your female picking skills, what you're attracted to in female friends, or what you attracted. Did you stay long in these friendships after the first few times no reciprocation occurred it occurred? Okay, I should have really read the opening post before answering I'm heading off soon, and don't have time to read but I'll respond properly as soon as I do. Not implying anything at all! Actually, I forgot to mention something. I have had reciprocation from female friends before but these friendships never lasted because they wanted more. As soon as they found out that I was interested in another girl, the friendship would die out, even though I would still make an effort. So all the really close female friends I have had were interested in more... whereas all the ones where I've tried to be close to (verging on going from friends to close friends), have never reciprocated; I'll make an effort and eventually, just stop. For these friendships I didn't stay long... and those 'friends' never reached out to me after I disappeared. Anyways, I will give a proper reply to the thread as soon as I can!
udolipixie Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Okay, I should have really read the opening post before answering I'm heading off soon, and don't have time to read but I'll respond properly as soon as I do. Not implying anything at all! I'm amused on how you didn't even read the OP but was able to respond to the a post on the last page. Technology you can post then subscribed to new posts. Actually, I forgot to mention something. I have had reciprocation from female friends before but these friendships never lasted because they wanted more. As soon as they found out that I was interested in another girl, the friendship would die out, even though I would still make an effort. I don't think that would be much relevancy as they didn't want friendship. Some people don't want to be friends with people they want more with. So all the really close female friends I have had were interested in more... whereas all the ones where I've tried to be close to (verging on going from friends to close friends), have never reciprocated; I'll make an effort and eventually, just stop. For these friendships I didn't stay long... and those 'friends' never reached out to me after I disappeared. So it wasn't a case of females have never reciprocated support/care as friends rather rather they were friends not close friends who reciprocated you giving it your all? With those who were close friends wanted more and when you weren't interested ended it. Anyways, I will give a proper reply to the thread as soon as I can!
joystickd Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Egh to me it seems like many men think if they aren't having sex with her there's no reason to interact with a woman extensively. Seems like many men think if they offer emotional support to a woman regardless of not being in a relationship she owes you sex. That if I give a woman emotional support I should get sexual release. This attitude also comes up in regards to paying for a woman as thinking it correlates to paying for her body. Many men don't think that. The thing is most hate being the emotional tampon or being treated like one of the girlfriends. Its seems one sided to have to be the person that listens to her vent about relationship or like what happened to me go into graphic detail about her sexual encounters. It just makes sense to reciprocate and that doesn't have to be sex. Women just assume it has to be. The other thing is like I said earlier the only exception for me is lesbian women because its like one of the guys. Its clear cut well defined friendship and there's no worry about feelings. She is more likely to hook me up with one of her friends for a sexual encounter or something more and I am more inclined to do the same. Heterosexual women have orbiters sometimes and that's the thing common with it. It comes off more of an ego boost sometimes than a genuine friendship.
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