wildgeese Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Sigh. Either you're the person with the wonky schedule or your partner is. My boyfriend is a chef and a typical day for him is 12:30pm-1:30am. My schedule is more 8-5 or 9-6. How do you personally cope with an uneven schedule in your relationship? How often are you able to see each other or talk to each other? Do you schedule days off together or kind of wing it? Do you feel like your relationship has suffered because of the difference or do you like that you can have your own downtime? Personally, we're old pros at effective communication (we're currently long distance but will be closing the gap in about 2 months) but sometimes it's nice, like right now, to reach out to others in similar situations.
denise_xo Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I saw your OP the first time around but didn't really have much advice. I used to travel a lot in my former job and my H would feel very lonely and miserable. I tried to make up for it and schedule nice things for us to do when I was home, and he also got more used to it after a while and wouldn't let it affect him that much. I can't say we found much better solutions than that. We tried to communicate every day through text message or skype.
IceIceBaby Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I totally feel your pain. My boyfriend is a chef as well. He generally works 10-7/8, sometimes later and Tuesday-Saturday. I work 9-5 Monday-Friday. It definitely is difficult and has caused some fights for us. We see each other sometimes randomly during the week, but usually it's Saturday night and Sunday...and that's it since Sunday is the only day we both have off. He makes an effort to try and get a Saturday off here and there so we have the whole weekend together. Or I'll take a Monday off. Do you guys live together? We don't and I'm sure it'll be easier once we do. At least we'll see each other every night.
wild wolf Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 My bf and I are both wildland firefighters so I totally understand the differance in scheduals. However, with us, our crews had different designated days off in the summer season, so we get NO days off together for about 6 months. Also, each morning ( we do live together) when we leave for our seperate bases, its an I Love You and Be Safe because if our crews are assigned anywhere we can be gone for 21 days. It can be hard and frustrating on a relationship but at the same time, I find the time apart reminds me why we love each other and that we are working hard to support or goals of the future. The hardest is not being able to even talk while we are apart if one of us is fighting a fire in the wilderness, 2 weeks is a long time to not hear their voice. I feel ya and just think about how great the time you do get together is.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 The guy I'm currently dating works two jobs and I'm working 13 hrs a day 5 days a week. While I do get days off he's always at work but we've been able to make our schedules a little more flexible by seeing each other once or twice a week, usually on Sundays. When we can't see each other we text and talk on the phone.
EyeAlone Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I hear ya. The guy I'm dating works the overnight shift 7p-7a three to four times a week. The days that he's scheduled to work change every week so it makes it difficult to plan things in advance. To complicate matters, I'm working 6 days a week for the next 2 months and I'm averaging 70 hours a week. But as others said, it makes the times we physically spend together extra special. In the meantime, we spend the days when we don't see each other texting sporadically throughout the day.
Nightsky Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Well as long as you get one day off togather and can plan vacations little sick days togather it should work. Having the same work schedule is convienent but highly overated.
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