zanzi Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Im thinking, it isn't. I mean it never happens, because they dumped you for a reason. Obviously before they dumped you, they didn't want you even then. Not really. Or they wouldnt have left you. Now that they are shot of you, what chance have you got of meaning anything to them? I have no hope of seeing my ex again. God, I don't even know where he is anymore these days. Everytime I think about going to see him, I'm like no, I'll look like a nut who cant get over it, and I dont want to give that kind of impression. It wont help. But then I wonder how else I am going to see him. What should I do, should I try to do something about it? Is there any way to get him back? im pretty sure the answer is no, but I still wish he'd never left me.
heatherfeather Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 First of all, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! If you can't go a day without thinking about something, never let it go. However, on the flip side, if he was cruel or abusive to you in any way, Physically or mentally get out and stay out of that one. Let that fish go. 1
Philosoraptor Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 If both people work on the issues on their end that plagued the relationship, and both people have a want to try again... a second chance may be successful. If only one or neither person works on their issues the relationship is likely doomed to follow the same path.
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 semantics play a part in your question. "is it possible to get your ex back?" -- no. because you can't force or control someone else's emotions. if you ask, "is it possible to get back with your ex?" -- absolutely. with time and natural progression and communication. but that means both of you have the mutual desire to do it.
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Here's a story for you, since you're holding out hope: My ex from 5 or 6 years ago dumped me, blocked me, told me not to contact her further etc. I was hurt, went through the healing process and didn't speak to her for about a year. Eventually, she made contact through facebook, which led to texting, which led to meeting up in person again. We hungout a few times, and I eventually realized that it just wasn't the same. She hurt me once and I didn't/couldn't bring myself to let her hurt me again. I didn't resent or hate her, and still don't. I reached the point of indifference without even knowing it. So to answer your question, no. It's not likely that you'll be able to get your ex back. It's up to your ex to come back to you(especially if they were the dumper). I guarantee that even if your ex comes back, you'll be thinking this: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
JasonRules Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 You can't force someone to be with you so you have no control over this, but if you were good to them during the relationship you will hear back from them at some point or another. Will they want to get back together? They might, but usually by then you simply don't have any feelings for them anymore and are indifferent.
Author zanzi Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 what do I do. Iv'e stopped eating. Iv'e stopped talking to my friends, I feel like they aren't good friends at all. Iv'e stopped cutting myself. For now. I feel suicidal all the time. Im already tired of studying. I have no family to lean on. My flatmates wont elave me alone, they keep putting leaflets on the table for me to find like " if you are having suicidal thoughts read this" I'm starting to care less about the past relationship. But I am miserable anyway, now that I have nobody to talk to. I feel like I am drowning in my depression. Nobody cares. Even the counciller I talked to didnt care, it was just her job to talk to me, but I could tell she was elsewhere. Without him, I feel like I am wading through a smong, everything is grey and means little or nothing. I am starting to dislike myself intensely. Piss piss moan, I wish I could slit my whiney ass throat already.
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I'm no therapist, but you need to realize that the loss of your ex isn't the end of the world. It's certainly not worth hurting yourself. There are billions of people on this planet. You'll find someone new, someone better and he'll make you forget that you ever felt this way. You have to find the strength within yourself to make it through this tough time. Although family, friends and therapists can all offer advice, it's up to each of us to drag ourselves out of the sh*t that life throws our way. You're not the only one going through a breakup. My ex dumped me out of the blue after 4 years. Does it hurt like hell? Yes. But whether you realize it or not, everyday that goes by is another day that you're building a newer, stronger version of yourself. You need to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: are you going to let the person who hurt you ruin your life, or are you going to say f*ck them and take back control? Living well is the best revenge.
Author zanzi Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 no really I suffer from depression. Have done for six years. It is the end of my happiness, to me it is the end. I want to kill myself.
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 If you suffer from depression, you should go to see a therapist and get some meds. I know you said you saw a counselor and felt they didn't care, but you should go to another and talk about your feelings. Obviously keeping this all bottled up isn't doing you any good, and talking it out will be like lifting a huge weight off your shoulders. I promise you that there's life after a relationship. Don't let someone else's poor decision dictate your life.
Maria7 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Don't look back, look foward.. It is possible to get him back, it will hurt u a lot more getting back in contact with him, maybe he has moved on.. but whatever happened was for the best ?? You will realise it was for the best. Its time to move on x
MarlaOryx Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 no really I suffer from depression. Have done for six years. It is the end of my happiness, to me it is the end. I want to kill myself. I've struggled with depression for 25 years, and I've learned that there is relief with or without medication (sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't) when you can learn to be in the moment. Our depression comes from spending too much time in the past or future. I know what it's like. I have cut myself in the past, too. I know the agony. I know wanting to die just to end the pain. I know. I know exactly. I'm now reading a book called "Feeling Good" - try it. If you want to hold on to your unhappiness, no one will stop you from doing that. If you want to try to be happy and control your emotions, you can do that too. It's really, really hard, but it is possible. Listen to/Read Eckhart Tolle. He will help you a lot. Learn to meditate. I kid you not. My thoughts are with you in your breakup. It feels like the end, but it isn't. Last year I had my heart shattered twice by two very abusive men. Then, late last year, I met another man who brought me more joy than anyone ever had EVER. Although I'm going through the breakup with him now, and it hurts, it was partly because I couldn't manage my emotions as well as he would like (and I manage them pretty well after 25 yrs). He used my illness as an excuse to cover up his own fears. Unfortunately, people will do that. I'm medicated now and deal quite well overall, but he doesn't. He avoids pain and fear to the point that he causes more of it. He also has the Grass Is Greener Syndrome, which is silly in our case because we were in an open relationship. We were just beautiful together. Very sad. Still, it's not so bad this time. I know I will survive, and I know there is more joy to be found. Because he didn't give me the joy...he just brought it out of ME. That joy is inside me, and it's inside you, too.
Recommended Posts