Lilylover Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 My first love, my first kiss, my first everything just dumped me yesterday. He dumped me on our one year anniversary. He came over and made me get in his arms and told me he loves me. Then he said he was thinking about us and can't see us together in two or three years down the road, so he doesn't want to prolong something that isn't going to work. It's just not what he wants. He was really upset, he was crying and telling me he doesnt want to have to let me go. But he did. And he says he thinks it's over for good. He told me he still wants to be close friends, but I've told him that I can't see him for a while. I want to see him so bad though. Is it wise to not have any contact. I just want to just kiss him one last time. I just miss his late night phone calls, hearing his voice and seeing his face. It's only been one day and I miss him so much already. We weren't having any problems in our relationship. He didnt think about actually breaking up with me until the night before he did it. I was just with him last sunday and things were amazing between us. Just like always. I guess this all would be easier if there was some warning. If the both (or even one) of us was un happy. It's just so hard to come to terms with the fact that we aren't getting back together. He was everything I lived for for a whole year. And I gave all of myself to him. Now that he's out of my life, I feel like he still has me, and I'm left with nothing. I want him back so bad.
agnf666 Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 I'm sorry to hear that he did that to you on your anniversary. That is horrible. The one thing I will tell you is try the no contact thing. Even though, you want to see him, talk to him and stuff this is the only way you will get over him. I'm not saying however that you can't be freinds. Right know your in that wierd stage where your like you want him , but maybe it was a good thing we broke up. If you have to talk to him I would find out if there was anything that you did that would make him do that. If you love him, I would say that there is no problem with trying to get back with him. He will want to at some point of time after he hits rock bottom. He'll think that it was nice to have someone that thought the world of me, and now I have no one. Don't wait forever. Time is the key with that. Give it a week or two and if you feel it to be necessary to call then do so. Try doing other things for right now. Hope every thing goes well and gets better.
Becks84 Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 A few years ago this EXACT thing happened to me! I really mean it when I say I know exactly how you feel...and trust me, it only gets better. I know that right now you cant see past being miserable... Out of the clear blue, on our one year anniversary as well, my bf, whom I considered the love of my life, first everythings etc...decided we should break up. I did not see this coming AT ALL. I was in shock. I wished I would have seen it coming, or that there were a legit reason for him completely breaking my heart! At first I was so miserable, and I would have done anything to get him back..I didnt even care if he didnt feel the same as I did, I didnt even care if things wouldnt be great like they were, as long as I just had him as mine again. Next, I became very angry with him. Angry with him for breaking my heart and hurting me worse than I had ever been hurt. No one had ever broken up with me before that, and I just thought it was so unfair! I later came to realize that I must have made someone feel like this before...and it was not intentional, ya know? I only ever followed my heart and did what I had to do for myself...that's what we are suppose to do, whether or not it makes sense to others. I was left with no closure...and that horrible feeling stuck with me for quite some time...months. I cried, and I got mad, and I questioned so many things. It took everything inside of me to not call him and just ask WHY?! I just needed an answer, anything, so that I could move on. I learned SOOOO much from this experience. I look back now and see how nicely life seemed to work itself out for me...and I realize God really does have a plan for me, and although it's okay and normal to hurt, sometimes we just can't question what happens. There are reasons for everything, and I promise you the reasons will be made known to you eventually. For two years now, I have been with my current boyfriend. I absolutely could not be happier or better off. I'm now in a "real" relationship, and I didnt even realize what I was missing!!! I dont miss my ex...he very very rarely even comes to mind. It's nice to remain friends with ex's, but in this case, I would not even want to be friends with him. He changed into someone I never knew, after we broke up. I am much better off now, and I am thankful for that! I guess with my long story, I'm just trying to give you some comfort that things WILL work themselves out. Find comfort in friends, family, or your faith! The break up is so fresh, and it's hard to say where it will go from here, but try and keep in mind that whatever does happen, is meant to be! Also, look at it this way -- you deserve to be with someone who feels for you exactly as you feel for them, and who has absolutely no doubts about the relationship!! Don't settle for less. best wishes! -becks
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