Wallace1 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Over the last 3.5 years since my last meaningful relationship (to me anyway), I've been on an interesting ride through the dating scene. As the road has become increasingly littered with flings, careless mistakes, thoughtful rejection, overt neediness, and ones that got away, I've come to what seems like an interesting realization: I've managed to make something of a habit of skewing towards what is commonly referred to as a jerk and/or player with women I'm unsure of how I feel with. In other words, we date for a bit, I'm somewhat interested but ultimately indifferent if things progress. And that ends up reflected in my communication style, and has them chasing me. Conversely, when I meet someone who I find extremely interesting after a few dates, I tend to go into some kind of chivalrous "Must do this Right" mode, introducing to friends too early, intentionally not making sexual advances "too soon" for fear of coming across as a player, and generally trying to be too perfect with everything. How do I find the middle? Not sure what to make of this, just curious on your thoughts/opinions!
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 It's really just trying to merge all of that behavior or moreso create a balanced attitude and behavior in general that is more of you rather than trying to be or not be something else, someone who you are comfortable at all times in being and make the right decisions in those circumstances/situations. It's about being the man you are, comfortably. It's easy to string along women that are into you, that you are not into, so in those cases just make the right move and cut them off instead of being the jerk and treating them like that because you know you're really not that interested, and telling them what you're honestly interested in or looking for, instead of trying not to be an nice guy but really being an ******* just by stringing them along and then because you're not really that interested in them treat them accordingly. Therefore when you do meet someone you're really into like every guy that's really into a girl, changes who he is and kind of amps it up to make sure you don't lose them or they see you as a good guy. I mean you kind of deserve it don't you think, for stringing along other women in a way? Why should it be your luck be that the person you are really interested in just automatically be into you and then everything is easy for you? Establish who you are, and the kind of man you want to be and you won't find yourself putting on a face in a situation instead of just being yourself at at all times. And when someone you are very interested in responds by being very interested in you, you won't feel the desire or have the attitude to amp it up or put on your best face, It'll just come naturally because you're just being yourself and If it's right everything will go smoothly. It's the concepts of guys feeling they have to be something at all times or act a certain way in one situation or another, like they have something to prove or an ego to build is what gives them odd results and is successful in some average situations but fails them when it counts.
fencesitter Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I was going to say the same thing. And when you find yourself being a jerk or player to women, do us all a big favor and just let her go.
AD1980 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Be yourself,if a women leaves you because you're "too nice" then you wont no part of a drama craver like that anyway..
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