A little inspiration for all the dumpee’s.

[coltsfan1]

I have been reading a lot of new threads on breakups and the pain some of you are suffering from it. I wanted to write a post to encourage all of you and myself to keep at moving past your breakup and working on yourself.

 

So I will give you all that don’t know my story a brief over view of my breakup, how I dealt with it, and how my life has turned out.

 

 

I dated a young gal for about 4 years that I was head over heels for. I made a very big mistake that she should have left me for, however I was able to win her back. HUGE mistake on both our parts because she never truly forgave me for what I did, it is wrong and I would rather not even put it here. After said mistake (not abuse or cheating) we never where able to get back onto the same page, and should have broken up then. Fast forward 2 years and we are at each other’s throats, fighting all the time, she meets someone, cheats, lies about it, then her secret gets out and she breaks up with me. Needless to say horrible fall out with mutual friends and bridges burnt forever.

 

Take this as a lesson it is best to leave prior to damage being done that is beyond repair!!!

 

So I go NC for 18+ months, I have not spoken to her since the day we broke up. This is where I will describe how I handled the breakup. To be frank I DRANK, heavily for about 5 months, I went to work, went out with friends but drank WAY too much. Which in turn clouded my mind and judgment; I made some bad decision on how I treated mutual friends as well as how I emotionally handled the break up. Fast forward another 5 months and I was involved in a motorcycle accident that really should have killed me. I was hit head on by an SUV, I was NOT wearing any protective gear other than my leather jacket. This is the day I decided things were going to change. Boy was this easier to think about than truly apply in my life. I struggled to drink less, to focus on my education, career, and building a new group of friends. But I did it, over the next 6 months I worked on getting 2 certifications in the field I work in, I cut out mutual friends that weren’t conducive to my healing, which made room for other friends to take their place, and began to take a good hard look at myself.

 

 

This is what I came to, my ex left because she wanted to, PERIOD. So I had to move on, I also saw the many things that I did WRONG in the relationship that I will have to avoid when I meet another girl I would like to date exclusively. This is when the TRUE growth takes place and believe me it WILL hurt. There were times I wanted to call my ex and tell her sorry for the extremely DUMB things that I did, and I wanted to hear her tell me sorry. This never happened and never will, after all this time there is no need to have the conversation. At least I don’t need to so it won’t be instigated on my end.

 

 

So where am I at now 18+ months post breakup? This is where I am, single, just got a 12k raise/promotion at work, about to close on a 2300 square foot home, about to buy a new Harley for my birthday, and happy just being me. I know that I still have growing to do and I don’t plan on stopping. I am going to finish my degree, meet a lady and start a family. So to close I would like to encourage you all to do a few things.

 

 

1. Forgive yourself and your EX

2. Take a hard look at yourself

3. Make some goals short and long term

4. Meet the goals and begin to feel better

5. Don’t drink or use drugs in excess like I foolishly did

6. Give things time

 

Good luck my friends you will get to where I am at soon enough.

 

PS- I have never spoke to my EX since the day she left, and to be honest we probably never will. I sure won't be ringing her!

[stimson554]

My ex contacted me..but I wasn't going to have it, she only wanted to dump her guilt into a "friendship". Right.. lol

 

if theres one thing i've learned it's Avoid the friendzone at all costs!

[coltsfan1]

if theres one thing i've learned it's Avoid the friendzone at all costs!

 

that's the truth!!