heatherfeather Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) So while I am working on a project for a vendor show coming up with one of my girlfriends, I received a text from my ex. "hey hows it going, going well here, been really busy working on my project" and he sends a photo of his mechanical project that I had always been his cheerleader for. I stayed strong and did not respond. I know he didn't get my letter yet but I guess we will see if he gets it and messages me again. by letter I mean it is a letter basicly stating that I agree with us breaking up and blahh. It had no begging or pledding in it. Odd he would just send me a text about his project. Edited March 13, 2012 by heatherfeather
Kaotic Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Sounds like he might be lonely and reaching out to you. You're definitely on his mind 1
Author heatherfeather Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Right now ...Let him be lonely! I had a life before him and I still have my life after him. My calendar for March is FULL! I had an EUREKA moment today! I am FINE without him! Although it softens my harden heart a bit to see the text from him but honestly I have gone through alot the last month and a half with him. He is going to have to try way harder. 1
mississippimom Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Ah...here we go again...lol what is it about our ex that keeps texting us!?! Today was/is my first permanent notion of staying NC and let me explain why... For the last few weeks, the ex would start a text and I would usually reply...in his texts were the "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm trying to move on with my life, I want to be happy, I want you to be happy, let's be friends, I don't hate you, I still love you" blah blah blah blah..... Our breakup was not exactly a mutual one. I ended things basically last summer but it dragged on for months, doing the hanging outs, textings, calling, etc...etc...we would still hang out and stuff...at the same time, he knew I was liking someone else (my online male best friend of 3 years)..etc...etc. who is now my boyfriend and is fixing to move here next month to be with me, but this isn't about the new bf. The day before Valentine's Day, the exbf and I had a face-to-face talk and there were alot of emotions flying in the air, about who did this and blaming each other for our downfalls. It was not a good moment. I did not know til later that he had met someone new prior to our meeting up. I then found out 3 weeks ago that he was moving in with this girl and they've only known each other a MONTH. Now keep in mind, I had then deleted his number when I found out about the new gf. I knew by keeping his number, I would eventually give in and out of respect for the new gf, I didn't want to make waves. We had agreed on the day before VDay's that he was moving on with his life (he says, I want to move on with my life, you got the new bf, I want to find someone to make me happy, blah blah) and I said ok, you go your way, I'm going mine. It ended up with me bawling for days, he then would send me texts about how he doesn't want to hurt me, blah blah...I still love you, blah blah..I'm confused, blah blah...... Saturday night, I had ran into a book that I had bought him as a gift lying around, so I texted to ask if he still wanted it because if not, it was going in the TRASH. He didn't respond til Sunday a.m., giving me 6 or 7 texts about the same crap...I only asked if he wanted the BOOK. That was it, nothing else, didn't ask how he was doing, what he was doing or nothing. Just the book. So then in his text, he was like let's chat later. All I wanted to ask about was the damn book. So then I thought well ok, if he wants to "talk", let's talk. So then I asked if he wanted to meet up to "talk", he calls and says, well I can't today, the gf wants to spend the day with me, I'm spending the day with her. So then I said ok, bye and hung up. He got all upset sending a text, asking why I acted that way. I finally just said, look, you always talk about how you want to be "friends"....you can't even talk to me without making the gf mad, you say we are 'friends', what's the issue? Finally, my last text said this......."Lose my number, quit acting like you give a damn"............nothing else was said. This a.m., my cell goes off...the exbf is calling, I rejected the call, usually he leaves a VM, but didn't, instead I get a txt that says this: How r u this morning? Hope you are feeling better? I ain't replied and don't intend to. I have decided to act on NC bc he is not helping me heal. No, I don't think it's a good idea to keep contact with your ex until you are completely over him/her. Reading this board has helped me ALOT. When u r staying in contact with the ex, it prohibits u from healing in a positive ways. Question is this, my exbf has a new gf, wtf is he so concerned about how I am doing? I understand he is hurt and if I hadn't erased the texts he sent yesterday, I could remember what he said, but he did say that he hated that he is in this new relationship but he had no choice. WTF does that mean? Hell, no one forced him to do anything. I see that relationship going towards doomville bc he just met the girl a month ago and 3 weeks ago, the r living together! LOL. When I texted him last to delete my number, why can't he just do that?
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Ah...here we go again...lol what is it about our ex that keeps texting us!?! Today was/is my first permanent notion of staying NC and let me explain why... For the last few weeks, the ex would start a text and I would usually reply...in his texts were the "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm trying to move on with my life, I want to be happy, I want you to be happy, let's be friends, I don't hate you, I still love you" blah blah blah blah..... Our breakup was not exactly a mutual one. I ended things basically last summer but it dragged on for months, doing the hanging outs, textings, calling, etc...etc...we would still hang out and stuff...at the same time, he knew I was liking someone else (my online male best friend of 3 years)..etc...etc. who is now my boyfriend and is fixing to move here next month to be with me, but this isn't about the new bf. The day before Valentine's Day, the exbf and I had a face-to-face talk and there were alot of emotions flying in the air, about who did this and blaming each other for our downfalls. It was not a good moment. I did not know til later that he had met someone new prior to our meeting up. I then found out 3 weeks ago that he was moving in with this girl and they've only known each other a MONTH. Now keep in mind, I had then deleted his number when I found out about the new gf. I knew by keeping his number, I would eventually give in and out of respect for the new gf, I didn't want to make waves. We had agreed on the day before VDay's that he was moving on with his life (he says, I want to move on with my life, you got the new bf, I want to find someone to make me happy, blah blah) and I said ok, you go your way, I'm going mine. It ended up with me bawling for days, he then would send me texts about how he doesn't want to hurt me, blah blah...I still love you, blah blah..I'm confused, blah blah...... Saturday night, I had ran into a book that I had bought him as a gift lying around, so I texted to ask if he still wanted it because if not, it was going in the TRASH. He didn't respond til Sunday a.m., giving me 6 or 7 texts about the same crap...I only asked if he wanted the BOOK. That was it, nothing else, didn't ask how he was doing, what he was doing or nothing. Just the book. So then in his text, he was like let's chat later. All I wanted to ask about was the damn book. So then I thought well ok, if he wants to "talk", let's talk. So then I asked if he wanted to meet up to "talk", he calls and says, well I can't today, the gf wants to spend the day with me, I'm spending the day with her. So then I said ok, bye and hung up. He got all upset sending a text, asking why I acted that way. I finally just said, look, you always talk about how you want to be "friends"....you can't even talk to me without making the gf mad, you say we are 'friends', what's the issue? Finally, my last text said this......."Lose my number, quit acting like you give a damn"............nothing else was said. This a.m., my cell goes off...the exbf is calling, I rejected the call, usually he leaves a VM, but didn't, instead I get a txt that says this: How r u this morning? Hope you are feeling better? I ain't replied and don't intend to. I have decided to act on NC bc he is not helping me heal. No, I don't think it's a good idea to keep contact with your ex until you are completely over him/her. Reading this board has helped me ALOT. When u r staying in contact with the ex, it prohibits u from healing in a positive ways. Question is this, my exbf has a new gf, wtf is he so concerned about how I am doing? I understand he is hurt and if I hadn't erased the texts he sent yesterday, I could remember what he said, but he did say that he hated that he is in this new relationship but he had no choice. WTF does that mean? Hell, no one forced him to do anything. I see that relationship going towards doomville bc he just met the girl a month ago and 3 weeks ago, the r living together! LOL. When I texted him last to delete my number, why can't he just do that? I hope the new girl sees that text, it would serve him right, LOL!!! breaking nc doesn't help things; it sends mixed messages and false hope. then you start waiting/hoping for the next text. he goes from "I love you, Good morning, Sunshine to" "k" when you reply. Don't be that girl who gets 'k' for a reply. 1
mississippimom Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I hope the new girl sees that text, it would serve him right, LOL!!! breaking nc doesn't help things; it sends mixed messages and false hope. then you start waiting/hoping for the next text. he goes from "I love you, Good morning, Sunshine to" "k" when you reply. Don't be that girl who gets 'k' for a reply. I mean HELL I told the guy to go ahead and move on with his life, but he don't need to be texting me or calling me either. I'm not ready to do the "let's be friends" thing and I've not told him that yet. I don't intend to. I would think by not replying to his text, he will get the message. There's been a couple of other times he's sent a text and I don't reply. I don't want to get false hopes or give him false hopes. That isn't fair to either of us. I've done the loyal thing in respect for this NEW broad he has in his life, out of respect for her, I am NOT the one calling HIM, texting HIM all of this mumbo jumbo. He said on the 13th of Feb. "I want to be happy, want you to be happy"....when I found out about the new gf, I was upset because while I'm sitting here in my living room bawling my eyes out, he couldn't have the BALLS to tell me he's met someone new, (he knows about my new bf) so it's like......and I told him this.......it's not that I'm upset you've met someone, that's great, you said you was going to, great...I'm upset because while I am bawling my eyes out on how things ended not in a positive way, I felt like he was laughing. He said....I just met the girl, I don't love her like I love you. blah blah. ............. It's like this, he's made his choice to give this new gf a chance, why still be texting me for? Why should he give a DAMN about how I am doing? Why does it MATTER? UGH. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I mean HELL I told the guy to go ahead and move on with his life, but he don't need to be texting me or calling me either. I'm not ready to do the "let's be friends" thing and I've not told him that yet. I don't intend to. I would think by not replying to his text, he will get the message. There's been a couple of other times he's sent a text and I don't reply. I don't want to get false hopes or give him false hopes. That isn't fair to either of us. I've done the loyal thing in respect for this NEW broad he has in his life, out of respect for her, I am NOT the one calling HIM, texting HIM all of this mumbo jumbo. He said on the 13th of Feb. "I want to be happy, want you to be happy"....when I found out about the new gf, I was upset because while I'm sitting here in my living room bawling my eyes out, he couldn't have the BALLS to tell me he's met someone new, (he knows about my new bf) so it's like......and I told him this.......it's not that I'm upset you've met someone, that's great, you said you was going to, great...I'm upset because while I am bawling my eyes out on how things ended not in a positive way, I felt like he was laughing. He said....I just met the girl, I don't love her like I love you. blah blah. ............. It's like this, he's made his choice to give this new gf a chance, why still be texting me for? Why should he give a DAMN about how I am doing? Why does it MATTER? UGH. Exactly. They just want to keep us on the back burner in case something doesn't work out. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I can't be 'friends' with a guy I still harbor feelings for---even if they are negative, it would open the wound watching him develop something with someone new. I went through that when I saw a pic of them 2 online. He wants no part of me on fb-blocked me like a year and a half ago (he had that habit of blocking and unblocking, etc. I blocked him, felt bad and unblocked him--he saw and then blocked me for good). But he still wanted to be friends. Can't be friends with someone who played a crapload of head games and now has someone new...how would she feel if he was texting his ex?? They want to stifle the healing so as to make sure we are still in pining mode over them. and I know all to well that 'sound' of the guy smiling. It's godawful.
2sunny Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 It is his ego feed if you respond. Especially since - he never asked you any question - so obviously there's no need to respond. He's fishing - to see how desperate you are - cuz if you might be desperate... He might be able to get laid...all for no effort on his part except a text. 1
mississippimom Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I can't be 'friends' with a guy I still harbor feelings for---even if they are negative, it would open the wound watching him develop something with someone new. I went through that when I saw a pic of them 2 online. He wants no part of me on fb-blocked me like a year and a half ago (he had that habit of blocking and unblocking, etc. I blocked him, felt bad and unblocked him--he saw and then blocked me for good). But he still wanted to be friends. Can't be friends with someone who played a crapload of head games and now has someone new...how would she feel if he was texting his ex?? They want to stifle the healing so as to make sure we are still in pining mode over them. and I know all to well that 'sound' of the guy smiling. It's godawful. I just can't be "friends" right now, with the way I feel about how things ended (even though I'm the one that ended it, within my own reasons), you r right, it would open up the wound all over again and it's bad enough that I get panic attacks these days bc I know eventually I will run into him or both of them together one of these days (he's well known in this area, hell his mom lives 5 mins down the road from me). I blocked him once, then "felt" bad, unblocked...cause I thought well that's childish, but then I looked at his FB page (yeah, we've all done it lol), made sure he was blocked from my 2 daughters's pages, even had my sister and best friend take him off of their FB pages (out of respect for me, I requested, they obliged)...and now he's blocked for good. There is no reason for me to torture myself over and over and the other day when he gave me his reasons why we couldn't meet up and "talk", I just said....that I was tired of being rejected over and over, regarding to the "friends" scenario. It's gotten to the point where he is looking WEAK by continuing to text me, who gives a F**K how I am doing, the way I look at it, he didn't give a damn while we was together towards the end bc I tried to tell him that I wasn't happy, gave him hints, and he still didn't get it and he wants to know why I dumped him. Plenty of reasons. He wasn't a "bad" guy, he just needs to grow up! I have better things to do than to "pine" over the exbf. I think it's too late now, he's done burnt the bridge and he don't realize it. I've heard people mention "bread crumbs", I don't want it, I deserve better. 1
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