Leigh 87 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Perhaps each couple has differnt chemistry. Sure, me and my partner can look at each other and touch and have sex once a day.. but there is not that sense of missing it!!! Which makes it much hotter. Here are things that make it " new" and " exciting" again, for me. - When I work out daily aqnd feel fit aqnd confident and healthy, I come across as super sexy, not to mention I look a heck of a lot better. - when I am looking good, and I show him my body with confidence, and tease him ( not show him my private parts for days, then wear underwear and teasingly pull it down but not all the way, he particularly loves my butt as it is curvy) - When we build our relstionship, and both think a lot of each other, based on the time we spend together, we think the other person is so awesome, we feel compelled to have meaningful sex - when we have the most fun, my boyfriend enjoys sex the most with me Bacially: - we wait until we truly crave sex and have time away from it to MISs each others bodies.... - Wait until we are really caught up in having fun - I feel ultra sexy and confident throguh working out my body - we feel ultra close and are also having a lot of fun - I show him flashes of my body, and tease him with my body All the above things make him want me the most, and makes us enjoy sex more. I know some couples have very high sex drives, and have it every day for years on end... If I did not masturbate, I would be happy to have it every day.... then again, I prefer the element of my boygfriend missing me and then having a new found appreciation for his sexy girlfriend. How often do you guys have sex, and how do u keep it passionate? We just have to have the right moment, for it to be passionate. I guess we are builders" and like to build non sexual things, which leades to a deaper connection, which = the best sex. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 ... are there many couples who are bot always hot for each other and constantly want to rip each others clothes off? Or, like in my case, does this STILL occur, but only a couple of days per week? ...NOw that I think about it, it seams logical that u have to develop as PEOPLE, and make the other person admire your personal development of your character... LOoks are physically, but can chemistry alone make u want to rip eachothers clothes off, after a year, without u even being in that much admiration of the person?
Bridgey Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Well me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 years. We see each other about 2-3 times a week and usually have sex on all of the days we see each other. When we have sex it is almost always tearing each other's clothes off passionate sex. We keep our sex fun by trying new things and avoid having too much of one type of sex. As long as you do a variety of things during sex you aren't likely to get bored of it easily. Although I can see why having sex every day could get a little tiring. Take a break for a day or two if you find sex is becoming too routine.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I've never really understood this rule myself, this whole limitations or how sex, passionate, intimacy falls off for people in their relationships. It's not generally something that has occurred unless of course there was issues in the relationship that prevented it from functioning regularly. So at least based on my relationships sex has typically been a big factor, the more physical, emotional, hell even spiritual chemistry the more, and better sex you will have in general. Has sex tapered off in my relationships? I couldn't tell you with any definite answer, but I've always had a high sex drive and some of the women I have been with had, and some of they did not...only one situation where It was a bit much and that's because she was almost asexual, but still going by the average consensus still had an above normal sex life. All I can say personally is that the relationships decreased in sexual activity when the issues became greater and harder to ignore. It hasn't really just fizzled out just because, so the trickery, having to build sexual tension, "spicing" up the sex life is not something I can really relate to. As far as getting older and relationships developing in a different way and myself putting sex on the backburner so I don't make sense such a center piece of the relationship has been my personal challenge...I realized that sex can make up for too much in a relationship and I'll seek balance in the future...and this is with relationships that lasted several years, I think anything between one and two years would be a bit suspicious to me...I'm surprised this is such a frequent topic.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 The times we do it now, it is passionate, the 2 - 3 max times a week we have sex. We do not try diferent positions, because we like the intimacy of him being on top, being able to kiss me and be close. We just wait until we are hot for each other, and then we do not really need variety in positions, besides doggy style occasionally, as he loves my butt. Another thing I am going to try lately, is more public fooling around. This is a fetish of mine. The other day, we were at water falls, and I gave him a taste of it, and he was like " wow, I like this". So, to spice it up for us, I am going to - Not masturbate 2 days before we are sexual - I only want him to touch me on the weekends, or once during the week if he cannot handle it snd wants me badly enough - I want to have a week or two where we ONLY can do irt in public, or NOT AT ALL. Haha, that will be fun. I am going to get him to take me to the movies next time we do it:)
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Stay hot... Seriously... lol, I actually have a nice personality, thanks. And I am not stupid, interlictually, even if I do keep my posts simple and cannot write as well as some posters.
Els Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I've never really understood this rule myself, this whole limitations or how sex, passionate, intimacy falls off for people in their relationships. It's not generally something that has occurred unless of course there was issues in the relationship that prevented it from functioning regularly. So at least based on my relationships sex has typically been a big factor, the more physical, emotional, hell even spiritual chemistry the more, and better sex you will have in general. Has sex tapered off in my relationships? I couldn't tell you with any definite answer, but I've always had a high sex drive and some of the women I have been with had, and some of they did not...only one situation where It was a bit much and that's because she was almost asexual, but still going by the average consensus still had an above normal sex life. All I can say personally is that the relationships decreased in sexual activity when the issues became greater and harder to ignore. It hasn't really just fizzled out just because, so the trickery, having to build sexual tension, "spicing" up the sex life is not something I can really relate to. Just curious, what IS the longest relationship you've ever been in? The bolded seems very strange to me - it seems pretty far fetched to assume that sex becoming less frequent in a relationship is certainly the result of 'issues in a relationship'. Yes, I absolutely do think that the frequency of sex tends to decrease a little over time. The key word being, I believe, 'a little'. Honestly, it is like anything else that defines the honeymoon phase. Both people are on their best behaviour and everything is so new and exciting, and even if you DO have to be up at 5am the next day for work, you can bonk 3 times today and wake up at 4am for more, no problem. You also can sit for hours and hours at a time doing nothing other than holding each others' hands and talking until the sun goes up again, you daydream about each other and look forward to dinner dates days in advance. But all that isn't sustainable. I believe a key component in maintaining a long-running relationship is in understanding that eventually, equilibrium will have to resume. It becomes a quieter, slower, but deeper connection, where you see each other with eyes unblinded by rose-tinted glasses but decide that you still love each other, and often relationships don't survive that. So yes, like everything else, sex does need to taper down to levels that you can maintain for the long term. Some people can indeed have sex twice a day for the rest of their lives - good for them, they just have to find someone compatible. For others, once a day, or a few times a week, is just right. It's about compatibility. OP: We've been together for 4 years or so. The first 2 years were LDR, so whenever there were visits we literally went at it several times a day. Have been living together for over 1.5 years now, and have been at 2-3 times a week for quite a while. I think that is perfectly fine, it maintains a good level of intimacy but it isn't so often that it becomes routine. A key for us is that we're both fairly adventurous and creative, and often try out new things or try and surprise the other. There are ruts, especially when RL throws us a big one and we're busy trying to cope, but for the most part it is good, for me. I can't speak for him, but given that we initiate about 50/50 and I've almost never rejected him, I don't think he has trouble with the frequency, otherwise he could have just asked. 3
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 ELS - Thanks for sharing, it helps a lot to hear what other happy couples do. The only propper relationship I had, was when I was 17 - 20 about 2 years. However,. I was nto mentally well at the time, so I would c all it a toxic relationship. I was not a complete person. I stayed away from guys for about 5 years, and then had sex with one guy, and then met my boyfriend soon after. We have been together o little over a year. We love each other now, way more than ever before, the love continues to grow each day still. It is definately a growing relationship, in no danger of just stopping any time soon. The sex is far more passionate and hot now then before, because we know and love each other a lot more. At first, we basically made it work, when SO many things were in the way. However, we had a funning feeling about each other, and when most ppl would have walked away, we somehow felt compelled to try to fix things. I think it is a miracle we were able to resolve our personal issues, but we have. Now everything is in the clear, albiet the usual relationship killers, like financial cr@p that can get u down.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 We have sex about 3 days a week. Ya know, give or take ( some days 2, some days 4 ) Last night, he said " hmm I love going down on u, evebn if u did not lie it I would do it" lol. Sexually, things tend to get " hotter" and " better" with time... because we tend to love eachj other more and more as time goes by, which makes for MUCH hotter sex. WHat happened before, was: we had sex every time we saw each other. Then we lived together and automatically had it most days. Then we learnt that we do not need to do it every night, and it is better ti wait for soecial moments/times.
oldguy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yes, and subtle foreplay sometimes over a period of days rather than hours, (or minutes), is incredible also.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Yes, I love it when we both hold off from masturbating or sex, and then go out im public anmd hug and touch each other a lot.
veggirl Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 My longest relationship so far has been 4 years. My sex drive never waned, his was never as high as mine to begin with. I'd say we averaged 2-3x per week throughout. We didn't do anything special to keep that alive, we had good sex and tried different things because we wanted to.
oldguy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yes, I love it when we both hold off from masturbating or sex, and then go out im public anmd hug and touch each other a lot. ...and foreplay from across a room can even be... great too
Recommended Posts