Glove_slap Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 end right after high school ended? Were you dumped/broke up with your sweetheart? - research purposes - seems like girls tend to break up with the guys they've dated in school to move on to more "successful" older men in college or whatever - some guys also break up with their sweethearts to live the "college" life thinking that they'd get laid all the time and what not - How about you?
rdb Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) My ex of 11 months broke up with me 2x, both times after high school. She wasn't popular at all during school and our senior year we hung out every weekend. I was done with my old groups because I had stopped smoking weed, and she just didn't have anyone else because her best friend was wrapped up in jumping from guy to guy and blew her off. When she left to work at overnight camp before college, the adjustment was too much and I handled it poorly plus her new 'camp friends' gelled really well. She broke up with me. Then we got back together after she had a big blow out with her former best friend (who was also a camp coworker) and I was their for her. We were together another 5 months. It was long distance by about 40 minutes, started very good when she had no other friends she felt close to, but as she began to gel more with her friends from the school's church group she felt less connected to me. For the final month she had slowly distanced herself from me, telling me less and less, until she completely moved on and told me she didnt love me. She did it in a very cruel way, I watched it happen and tried early on to improve our communication. But it became very clear she lacked the desire, I was sick of pulling dead weight so I stopped fighting. For the last week of us being 'together' she didn't say she loved me once and all the convos were really tense. However I continued to do what I normally did until the end. I still told her to have a good day every other morning, I still made her mix cds (which was a tradition I did before I visited) the night before I knew she was going to break up with me, and I still took her to dinner at a date I planned for us a week earlier (by sending a menu + magazine article about it in the mail) and was falsely reassured when she tried to act like everything was fine. I was also dealing with my own serious depression issues, and they were made 1000x worse because I had lost my best friend (her) and had no one to confide in. I felt like I couldn't leave my past behind because I was stuck at a school that represented all the work I had not done, and I just did not fit in. After we broke up, I went on a drunken bender for a month. I then took serious steps towards 'getting better' regarding my depression, I left the school I was at (which I hated for a million unrelated reasons, the school loses 49% of its freshmen classes so Im not the only one) for community college and went to therapy. I currently am still single, but with all the volunteer work I do as well as the strong friendships I maintain, it doesnt bother me as much. I still miss her although we have been broken up since November 18th and strict no contact since January 14th. I know things will get better one day. I'm in no rush to find anyone right now, I'm too busy finding myself. Edited March 13, 2012 by rdb
CarrieT Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 He was a teacher and was arrested for statutory rape...
Diamonds&Rust Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 - research purposes Like, personal research? Academic research? I don't know what you mean by that.
g450 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 OP, my XW went through exactly that. She never got over her sweetheart breaking up with her after HS. And mind you this was something like 37 years ago. We were married for 20+ years and I never really knew this until she got on FB and started reconnecting with her HS friends. She found HIM and a few other ex boyfriends from HS and that was all she wrote. A few months later she was filing for divorce. I am the exact opposit of her. Hell I dont even remember anybody from HS, much less have a crush on one. And I could care less about that. It was silly and surreal to for me to see the mother of my Son turn into a middle aged 18year old girl in front of my eyes. In our case I was a "downgrade" from her sweetheart. She said she married me simply because she wanted a child and did not want to live alone. That really hurt. She never got over him.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 OP, my XW went through exactly that. She never got over her sweetheart breaking up with her after HS. And mind you this was something like 37 years ago. We were married for 20+ years and I never really knew this until she got on FB and started reconnecting with her HS friends. She found HIM and a few other ex boyfriends from HS and that was all she wrote. A few months later she was filing for divorce. I am the exact opposit of her. Hell I dont even remember anybody from HS, much less have a crush on one. And I could care less about that. It was silly and surreal to for me to see the mother of my Son turn into a middle aged 18year old girl in front of my eyes. In our case I was a "downgrade" from her sweetheart. She said she married me simply because she wanted a child and did not want to live alone. That really hurt. She never got over him. That's aweful, so sorry to hear My ex of 20+ yrs is now pursuing me, telling me he never got over me (I don't buy it, btw). We went out in HS. He took my virginity (I loved him madly) and left me a month later, citing he wanted "to be single". We recently reconnected over FB (go figure) and he feels after a month of chatting and talking over the phone that he still loves me, etc. Interestingly, my current heartbreak (why I am on LS) is over a man who yet again "wants to be single", lol. I personally dont believe the "I still love her/him" crap... just think it is a way for an immature person to get what they want at the moment. Just my opinion.
g450 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 There may be some truth to that. Sometimes we fall in love with the image we have of them in our own heads. But who really knows what love really is right? To me love is when you care about the other person just as much or more than yourself. It's a union of me and you against the world. There is strength in numbers. If you both are happy with each other, that's all that really matters IMHO.
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