WhiteChocolate Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Did he explain why he was asking you out? Is it just because he doesn't see her enough? Does she know and is she okay with it? Are you going to see him? Just wondering. I had the same thing happen to me. Guy pursued me and I ended up finding out two weeks later he has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. I liked him, though, and got involved. But then I got un-involved. I like this guy too, but I have decided to rebuff his advances and only talk to him if necessary. I'm not really comfortable seeing a "taken" man, no matter how okay with it (or not) he or his gf might be. Now I want to ask him those questions you brought up. But I also dont want to talk to him. It's so hard! I keep thinking about our last kiss and the sparks...
Author Jane2011 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 I like this guy too, but I have decided to rebuff his advances and only talk to him if necessary. I'm not really comfortable seeing a "taken" man, no matter how okay with it (or not) he or his gf might be. Now I want to ask him those questions you brought up. But I also dont want to talk to him. It's so hard! I keep thinking about our last kiss and the sparks... Ask him! I know, it sucks, right? I'm crazy for the guy I'm talking about. Makes me sick that the other woman has him. I perpetually feel like Glenn Close with him being Michael Douglas and his girlfriend being Anne Archer. When I first found out about his girlfriend, I told him "Okay, well, I think I would rather not meet up with you then. Kinda awkward because you have a girlfriend..." But he talked me into it, saying she wouldn't mind (they are genuinely in an 'open' relationship). I was a fool. I should have just said...no no no. But I went out with him and ended up liking him.
Author Jane2011 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 This other guy who is pursuing me has a girlfriend in China. I didn't know and went on a few dates with him, then found out via Facebook. I asked him about her and he admitted it...then called me up the next day asking me out for lunch. Oh, I forgot to mention, I found out via Facebook, too. Facebook is so helpful.
somedude81 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 As far as I know, there is nobody interested in me, online or off. It's been that way for at least five years. There is one woman online who I kind could be interested in but she's doing her own thing and it would be an LDR which just makes things really complicated. IRL, there is one girl I'm obsessed with but she wants nothing to do with me and I haven't talked to her in months At my work, there are three girls I would enjoy dating. Though two have boyfriends and the third already turned me down. I kinda have my eye on another girl at work, but she's very quiet to me and I don't know if she doesn't like me or is just shy. Either way, I'm getting nothing from her. The girl I'm obsessed with is the only one I actually think about. It would be great if I could get her out of my head, but I really need somebody to replace her with.
Author Jane2011 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 IRL, there is one girl I'm obsessed with but she wants nothing to do with me and I haven't talked to her in months The girl I'm obsessed with is the only one I actually think about. It would be great if I could get her out of my head, but I really need somebody to replace her with. Why does she want nothing to do with you? You mean that literally, like she can't stand you or is freaked out by you? And yeah, I know about needing to replace someone you're thinking about a lot. I often find that I'm impatient about getting together with someone new not because I can't be alone (I can, and am often pretty okay by myself), but because I'm sick and tired of myself for thinking so obsessively about the last person. If time and distance would just truly do their thing and make me forget the last person, that would be cool. But time and distance are never enough for me. I have to have a new person to fully get over the past person.
somedude81 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Why does she want nothing to do with you? You mean that literally, like she can't stand you or is freaked out by you? I've got nearly 6,000 posts on this forum. And I swear that around 2,500 are about her. I guess, "it's complicated" will cover everything. And yeah, I know about needing to replace someone you're thinking about a lot. I often find that I'm impatient about getting together with someone new not because I can't be alone (I can, and am often pretty okay by myself), but because I'm sick and tired of myself for thinking so obsessively about the last person. If time and distance would just truly do their thing and make me forget the last person, that would be cool. But time and distance are never enough for me. I have to have a new person to fully get over the past person. Time and distance really don't seem to work in getting over people for me either. I think the reason for needing another person to replace the last is that we just need somebody in our lives. Without it something feels off. But that feeling is different for everybody.
Red Arremer Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Nobody is interested in me, and I am not interested in anyone. This is simultaneously the best and worst thing about having literally no social life. Although mainly the worst.
USMCHokie Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I think more people could be interested in us than we all give ourselves credit for...I guess we just have to be open to the possibility...and believe in that possibility... I'm slowly learning that...
Kamille Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Fun but thought provoking. I just realized, for nearly the first time in my adult life, there's no one I want, meaning want for a healthy and loving romantic and sexual relationship. It's very peaceful. As I have historically been clueless about anyone being interested in me, I presume I'll continue to wallow in ignorant bliss. I'm in the same situation. Right now, romance just isn't high up there in the list of things that entertain me. And it's actually a very peaceful moment. The sense of "urgency" and "loneliness" that I've felt in the past is simply no longer there. I feel like if I was out there looking, I would likely make all the same mistakes I made in the past... If that makes sense.
JohnP82 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I can't say anyone is interested in me. I'm not interested in anyone either.
Dafa Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 And yeah, I know about needing to replace someone you're thinking about a lot. I often find that I'm impatient about getting together with someone new not because I can't be alone (I can, and am often pretty okay by myself), but because I'm sick and tired of myself for thinking so obsessively about the last person. If time and distance would just truly do their thing and make me forget the last person, that would be cool. But time and distance are never enough for me. I have to have a new person to fully get over the past person. Wouldn't finding a new person just propagate the "issue"? I mean, you are in love with person "A" and get a person "B" to help get over "A". The thing is, even if you eventually get over "A", it would be by some kind of emotional transfer to individual "B". At this point, either you are indeed lucky and end up with "B" or you are not lucky and end up alone with a similar kind of feeling towards "B" as you had towards "A" at the start. Rince and repeat ad nauseaum... I currently find myself in a weird unrequited situation and while i thought about using this tactic, i'm not sure if in the long run it would be indeed effective. Like both of you, i also do not find time and space to be enough... Quite a crappy situation.
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