redrose123 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 My ex turned out to be so cold and heartless yet I am having trouble letting him go. He claimed to still love me when we broke up yet I only heard from him twice after the break up and he said "im thinking about you and hope you are ok" He knows how badly he hurt me and if he did Care about me at all I believe he would reach out to ask me how I'm doing. Unfortunately we work together and he will not even look at me, if we cross paths he puts his head down. This has been really difficult for me.. I feel like the mature thing to do would be to at least say hi and it's making it much harder for me to get over him. I spent so much time and money on him and cant believe he could just forget about me so easily and now i see him for who he really is yet I can't stop thinking about him and it's making me and my Family crazy because it's all I ever talk about. How can I forget him??
Philosoraptor Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 You don't aim to forget someone. You need to find acceptance and peace with the situation. Once you have found that his childish games will pose no problem with you.
Mr Scorpio Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 You will probably never forget him. The idea isn't to forget him, because even if you did somehow manage to, you'll likely stumble across a trigger and then be back to square one. That being said, is there anyway to consistently avoid him at work? Different shift? Different location/department?
Author redrose123 Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 We already work in different departments but we do cross paths once in a while and I see him which i feel like is prolonging my healing process. I just feel like the mature thing to do would be to at least acknowledge me! It's so frustrating..
light_vader Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) I'm (un)fortunately blessed with the joy of having your EX at work, and trust me... after one year, things don't get easier. I've gotten to the point where it sure feels like I'm about to forgive her... but it still hurts a bit from time to time. Seeing her all the time is no good. If it wasn't because I was in debt and I have a nice salary nowadays, I would just switch jobs in a heartbeat even if it meant going back a notch in the $$$ ladder. The hard part for me is of course, the fact she (emotionally) cheated on me with some guy (then one month after we broke up they slept together, I made a scene, the guy had a fiancée, I called her and she blew this world that morning she found out her trusty old BF cheating on her, but obviously as with most things, she forgot and now they got married), and then she moved on to the next guy, and now they seem happily dating (who knows, they could get married, it's a possibility, for me to hear that sometime in the future), and seeing them kissing and snuggling and all the usual... it's THOUGH. Take for instance today, without me wanting it, I was with the chick that manages the planning and she had a format printed out with the guy's signature on it, asking for vacation the upcoming month (holy week or whatever you call that in english), and behind that piece of paper there was another... It is OBVIOUS that the piece of paper below belongs to my ex's format asking for vacation too. Since we never took a vacation together (except going to her hometown), and I know this guy is the kind of guy who likes to go everywhere, I had a slip on my mind on the way home tonight thinking how they are going to have fun on that trip and she probably just think of me as the "idiot I never took a vacation with" and bla bla bla. See where this is going? It's THOUGH. It's emotionally tiring and I feel like this is the worst I have gone though, ever. If I get through at the end of the day and meet somebody else and move on (feels like meeting someone in the future will be the only thing that will make me feel different again, I ain't talking rebounds obviously, just a regular, hopefully emotionally smart relationship), then I'll have a pretty good story to tell. So, summing up, will it get easier? No... If he stays on his own, maybe things will ease, but if he starts dating somebody, specially at the office... you'll have a hard time. So my advice would be, if you can, switch jobs. It can be a good test (to stay), but it's a real, real, hard one for sure. I think there is nothing like no contact, and I mean, not even visual. In any case, I'm still alive, so don't despair, and whatever you choose, just remember to keep yourself in sanity Edited March 13, 2012 by light_vader 1
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