mymission Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I know a lot of people have this feeling where they can't imagine being with anybody else and that nobody will ever compare. But I honestly think its true in my case. He was amazing. Kind, gentle, loving, extremely understanding, caring, would do anything for me, funny, passionate, motivated, intense (in a good way). At least he was when he loved me. We were together for a year and a half. He was like that for the first 10 months and then it gradually deteriorated from there as he slowly fell out of love with me. He became more disinterested and couldn't be bothered with the effort. I really don't think I'll find anybody else like that. I'm holding onto the person he was. I just want him to love me again
Philosoraptor Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Sure his feelings for you made you feel good, but that's all you know. You know which feelings will feel better? Which love will be stronger? The one that doesn't leave. Look for the person who won't give up on you. I hear Rick Astley follows that path. 9
Author mymission Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 I never thought I'd be saying that Rick Astley is a genius! haha! Thanks yeah I know what you mean. How do you know somebody's not gonna give up on ya? It could last 40 years but then they could quit
Philosoraptor Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I never thought I'd be saying that Rick Astley is a genius! haha! Thanks yeah I know what you mean. How do you know somebody's not gonna give up on ya? It could last 40 years but then they could quit That's a calculated risk that we all have to decide on whether or not to take. Anyone can leave at any moment. You just have to trust your people picker.
jus d'orange Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 You have to appreciate love for what it is -- something that exists in the moment. Maybe a love will last forever, or maybe, like with so many of us, it will end eventually. As people change, love changes. Sometimes it goes away -- he's a different person than he was in those 10 months, but that doesn't mean the love wasn't real. Those 10 months showed you how wonderful being loved can be. I remember what it was like to be loved, too. It's true that it's more wonderful when it doesn't leave, though. You'll find someone knew who loves you differently and probably better. Think about before you knew what being loved was like -- you couldn't even imagine it! Likewise, you can't imagine how wonderful your next love will be. It may even last forever. Or it may be something that lasts for a while but eventually moves on. That doesn't take away the value of the love. 2
budley12 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 i understand your feelings. i was recently dumped by my first love. we were each others firsts... I even came out to my family for him... it started freshman college year and last 3 years. He was amazing. 3.8gpa -math/business major, amazing family, lived right outside NYC in a huge house, truly loved me and would do anything for me, sense of humor, very attractive, intelligent, we traveled the country many times, the list goes on and on. I feel I will never find someone like him.
flitzanu Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I know a lot of people have this feeling where they can't imagine being with anybody else and that nobody will ever compare. But I honestly think its true in my case. He was amazing. Kind, gentle, loving, extremely understanding, caring, would do anything for me, funny, passionate, motivated, intense (in a good way). At least he was when he loved me. We were together for a year and a half. He was like that for the first 10 months and then it gradually deteriorated from there as he slowly fell out of love with me. He became more disinterested and couldn't be bothered with the effort. I really don't think I'll find anybody else like that. I'm holding onto the person he was. I just want him to love me again see bold. don't worry, you'll find plenty of people that are disinterested and don't care about you. instead though, you should work on finding someone that actually wants to be with you.
Headintheclouds Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I am feeling much of the same right now. My ex did everything for me. Took care of me, was very motivated. She was my best friend on another level. I thought we were untouchable. I ALWAYS felt that she was super attached to me. I never had a worry in my mind and I thought I could trust her in a room full of naked men. And then poof! It was just over. I've been through many long term relationships of all different degrees. I felt that based on all my experience that she was the one. How will I ever look at someone that way again?
M2155 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 You don't WANT to find someone like that, you want to find better. You loved once, you can love again. It can happen so many times in one's lifetime. It's hard to imagine it when you don't know what's ahead but one day you'll look back and be surprised when you find someone that is 10 times better for you. Remember the mind is a powerful thing, if your mindset is always "I'll never find someone..." then you may not. Believe in your heart that the right person is out there searching for you too. 1
rdb Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I recently went through the same thing. She just quit on me. The only advice I can give you is don't be afraid to confront your emotions. Think about things in human terms: don't rewrite history, but examine the full picture. Someone who just gives up on you is not the right person for that simple reason. People make mistakes, and maybe one day they will realize it. Don't wait around and find out or you will be bound to get hurt many times and may come up empty handed. You need to cut contact, be strong, and move on. Never look for them in other people, it won't be fair. Just judge individuals as individuals. I promise you all will find someone new eventually. I still haven't, I still miss my ex, but I know now that someone who I gave my all to and dumped me 2x because she simply wasn't feeling it is someone I can't give more to unless they show me some serious changes. Don't try to stay friends: it cheapens what your relationship once was and gives them all the benefits of having you around. I know it is tough but we arent the first/only people ever to end up like this. Until you let go you wont know who else you can let in. 1
windmask Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 hi what u say i kinda feel too. i was madly in love with my ex gf too probably still am. she broke up with me a year ago i honestly miss her each and every day even though she kinda left me for stupid reasons ex. she first said how i wasnt highly educated, 2ndly how i was in school so i didnt have money, and lastly she said she didnt love me. and on top of that i was left humiliated by things like how she didnt knwo what she saw in me etc and how i was a big mistake. but when were together she said nice things like how i was her diamond in a rough or wut not. but w.e i connected with her i thought i knew her better and i never thought about money and her together its just not me. i wouldnt be with someone for money alone. anyhow its been a year but i feel i wont find love again ever or wont find anyone as good as her even though she probably cheated on me because the break up happened all of a sudden. i thought things would get better as time went on but its not the case for me she seems happy since the day she broke up with me yet i feel like crrrrapp. i guess the person who loves the most in a relationship suffers the more as well. now that i think about it i do not believe it was worth it because yea i was happy for a year and a half but now am miserable for year and so. wish this nightmare would end already.
Kaotic Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I understand how you feel but that feeling will go away with time. I'm in the same boat right now The man who I thought was the love of my life left me. I can't even begin to imagine finding someone as good as him, let alone better. But only time will tell if he will come back to me, or if I will move on. Those are really the only two options for all of us.
stimson554 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 "no one else will ever compare." "I will never love again." thinking that you will never find another love in life is typical post breakup, especially with someone you were profoundly attached to. but you will heal with time, as impossible as it may seem right now, you WILL find someone else who you feel this way about, Better even. the most important thing for you right now is to think you. don't bother with him, you dont owe him anything, he broke it off with you. i felt the same way when my girl left me in the gutter, you will feel better in time, like i said focus on you, do what makes you happy. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I know a lot of people have this feeling where they can't imagine being with anybody else and that nobody will ever compare. But I honestly think its true in my case. He was amazing. Kind, gentle, loving, extremely understanding, caring, would do anything for me, funny, passionate, motivated, intense (in a good way). At least he was when he loved me. We were together for a year and a half. He was like that for the first 10 months and then it gradually deteriorated from there as he slowly fell out of love with me. He became more disinterested and couldn't be bothered with the effort. I really don't think I'll find anybody else like that. I'm holding onto the person he was. I just want him to love me again that wasn't love; it was the honeymoon/lusty/fun stage. When reality sets in, 'boredom' sets in and the person isn't in love as they thought. So easy to confuse love with lust. you WILL find better. This guy made room for better people to come into your life and heart.
Octavius Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Been 5 months for me, know this feel to an extent. Not that I can't get someone better but it is just so damn hard to find one I really like but I'm working on myself to make it more and more likely. Yes I can get a more attractive girls than her but it wasn't looks that I fell for with my ex even though she was pretty damn cute.
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