SoMuchLove Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Why would my ex block me from facebook when he already unfriended me weeks ago? We hadn`t even had any contact since then. Why wouldn`t unfriending me be enough? I don`t get it. I only know he blocked me cause I could still see his profile partially when he unfriended me a few weeks ago. . .like his picture and some wall posts, etc. Then I told my brother (weeks later) how he unfriended me and he wanted to see if he unfriended him too. He told me that not only was he unfriended, but he was blocked! So I tried to look up his profile too and found out I was also blocked! Why would he wait so long and why would he want to block my brother? Neither of us have contacted him for weeks. I know he blocked us yesterday because we are in a mutual group on FB and up until yesterday I could see posts he made on that wall even though we were no longer FB friends. I never posted on his friends walls or the group wall that we are both members of, so that couldnt be the reason. Since he unfriended me, he cant see my profile and since I hadn`t contacted him since he first unfriended me I can`t imagine he would be worried about that all of a sudden. Got any ideas? By the way, he is the one who broke up with me even though I broke up with him a few months earlier. .but he begged for me back and foolishly I took him. Then it was like he was looking for an excuse to break up with me before I could and he was such a jerk during the whole break up thing. I tired to be the bigger person. . mature, focus on the positive, etc. . but he just wanted to be nasty. I guess I'm just curious as to why he didn't just block me in the first place or what would have made him do it out of the blue. And why my brother? They never even talked on FB at all!
Exit Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 The only possible reason is that he knows: I could still see his profile partially when he unfriended me a few weeks ago. . .like his picture and some wall posts, etc. Obviously he doesn't want you or anyone close to you keeping tabs on what's going on in his life, even if you can't access most of it just by being unfriended. Other than that one logical reason, trying to ask yourself why, and getting all worked up about it, it shouldn't matter. You guys aren't together anymore, so consider it a blessing in disguise, some day you'd end up seeing a picture or a comment related to him being with someone else. Think back to a time before Facebook existed, people broke up and had no way to secretly find out what the other person is up to. 1
rootless Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 SoMuchLove, It's hard to speculate about motive, but the safe bet is probably pretty simple: my guess is that he just wanted relief. He either wanted to mitigate the pain of losing your relationship by distancing himself from photos and other memories online, or, he wanted to secure his privacy and allow himself room to pursue his life, without having you observe it. I know it hurts -- but trust me, in either case, severing those online connections will probably prove to be a HUGE blessing, to both of you. Whether your relationship is truly over, or whether you'd like to get back together, it's simply not healthy to retain an immediate connection online when that connection has been compromised in real-life. It's just asking for trouble. I think a good general rule of thumb is: If you aren't able to have honest, healthy communication in real-life, you should probably stay the f*** away from Facebook. Facebook is a tool. And it really only works well if it's being used to *supplement* relationships where both parties can talk to each other openly and honestly in REAL LIFE. But if you have a relationship in real-life that's dysfunctional -- as most break-ups are, by definition -- then Facebook is HORRIBLE. For people in pain, it seems like Facebook's sole purpose is to magnify and protract that pain. It's an entirely ethereal, superficial connection, and when you couple that with deep, intense emotions, it's a BAD combination. If you don't have a solid, healthy foundation in reality, after a break-up, Facebook is the absolute DEVIL. Think about it -- would you want a relationship in real-life that consisted of nothing but voyeurism and hearsay and speculation and surveillance? God no! That's creepy as Hell, Right? Be happy he blocked you. Either way, it's for the best. You'll both have the privacy, space and dignity to sort out your feelings, which is what you both need, regardless of the outcome. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I'm not caught-up on FB terminology because I stopped visiting the site the week my ex got blocked. But to my understanding, un-friending a person doesn't prevent them from showing up on the "people you might know" list? If I were going to visit FB, I would take every possible step to wipe any potential of my ex's pictures/name/comments from coming across my screen.
jmy33 Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 He's trying to move on..I did the same thing to my ex and all of her family. I didnt want to see anything that reminded me of her, or vice versa. It could have taken him a while to block you because maybe he thought there was still a chance of getting back together? Now, maybe he is ready to try and move on..I know it's hard to deal with. Originally i was blocked first, and when she took it off, I had to block her. I still have her blocked after several months, I dont plan on taking it off until I know for sure that I am 100% healed.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Maybe it's good you are blocked. You need to heal; not see what he's up to.
RetroFan00 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Judging by your details regarding his behavior after you had taken him back, it sounds to me as if he wanted to get the upper-hand, and then leave you hanging afterwards. It may have been a form of revenge on his part. He could've had a civil discussion with you regarding parting ways, but no, he had to go the cowardice route and find something in which, in his mind, would give him a valid reason to break up with you. On the other hand, I agree that you having been blocked may serve as a beneficial action. Rather than take it to heart, utilize it as the first step to healing. And I wouldn't stress regarding his unfriending of your brother either; the less tabs you have on him, most likely, it will come to a point where you will have completely moved on, and not be worried about what he either may or may not be doing.
Mollyanna Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 I also think he might have wanted the upper hand. It is a pride thing. He blocks you before you block him.. AND/OR he wanted to stop himself from looking at your page. I admit I have no self control and have had to completely block myself from an ex's page for a while until I could stop spending so much time obsessing.
Author SoMuchLove Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 UPDATE! he UN-blocked me! hahaha i only know this because it came up in my news feed that he "made my pictures his profile picture". meaning a picture of him from one of my albums. i was surprised to see this in my news feed so i clicked on it and i can see his profile. well, not his WHOLE profile cause we are still not friends. . but apparently i am no longer blocked. sheesh! i am still hopeful that in a few weeks/months he will come around and communicate so we can have some closure. thoughts?
Author SoMuchLove Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 UPDATE! he UN-blocked me! hahaha i only know this because it came up in my news feed that he "made my pictures his profile picture". meaning a picture of him from one of my albums. i was surprised to see this in my news feed so i clicked on it and i can see his profile. well, not his WHOLE profile cause we are still not friends. . but apparently i am no longer blocked. sheesh! i am still hopeful that in a few weeks/months he will come around and communicate so we can have some closure. thoughts?
Lois Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 My thoughts are, you should do yourself a favour and stay away from Facebook.
g450 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 SML, do yourself a favor. Block him now. Why play games with him? Its not healthy for you. It's over, so block him and be done with it.
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