Spotted a Transsexual on Okcupid and now IT no longer has an account-lol

[leftfordead2]

I was bored last night and came across this profile and the woman in it looked a little odd so I kept looking and realized he was a TS. Then I sent it a message saying

 

"YOU AIN'T FOOLING NOBODY"

 

LOL.

 

Now all of a sudden when I was checking my messages I noticed that user no longer had a pic and when I clicked on the username It said no one has an account by this name. So i guess someone reported IT LOL

 

I mean it was so obvious. Why do gay men always try and be so sneaky? They have this fantasy of being with a STRAIGHT GUY and don't understand that that fantasy can never be fulfilled because they are not...WOMEN. So to anyone on OKC, make sure you look at those pictures closely

 

And my message to you is: "IT'S NO WONDER YOU AIN'T GETTING ANY GIRLS CAUSE OF YOUR ****ED UP ATTITUDE"

 

LOL

[SadGrl]

I personalty would love to date a tranny.....not many of them around, specially, cute ones....

[Diamonds&Rust]

When did simple human respect of others become "political correctness"?

Just over 20 years ago. It's a successful attempt by the American Right to pejoratively describe language that normal people would call respectful.

We don't really know if she was hiding anything. But if she was, that would not be right.

Says who? Your discomfort?

 

I know it's hoping for a lot, but I really don't think the same right to know exists here. The more it bothers people, the more I hope they've secretly slept with a transsexual without knowing.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Diamonds&Rust

Just over 20 years ago. It's a successful attempt by the American Right to pejoratively describe language that normal people would call respectful.

 

I really have no clue whta you just said. But respecting other people isn't "politically correct". It's a basic human right.

 

 

Says who? Your discomfort?

 

I know it's hoping for a lot, but I really don't think the same right to know exists here. The more it bothers people, the more I hope they've secretly slept with a transsexual without knowing.

 

Huh? My discomfort? How does this make any sense to what I said?? I don't think someone that is transsexual should hide that when they are looking to date/get sexually envolved with others. I also don't think people should lie about their weight, IQ or height in online dating.

 

And it's a little creepy that you "hope" people secretly slept with a transsexual without knowing it. I have no clue what you think that solves or contributes when we are discussing issues of prejudice.

[PhillyDude]

I spotted another one tonight but I didn't say anything lol

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I spotted another one tonight but I didn't say anything lol

 

Why don't you try just treating them like any other person instead of making a big deal of it. No one said you had to date a transexual or even be attracted to them. Apply that sentence above you said and apply it to someone that is African American, or someone that is Jewish, or someone that is Indian, or think of being applied to the people in your family, and you tell me if that doesn't sound prejudice. Applying that to transexuals doesn't make you any less prejudice. Stop spreading the hate. You don't have to like everyone you see or meet but you don't get to openly disrespect them.

[PhillyDude]

Why don't you try just treating them like any other person instead of making a big deal of it. No one said you had to date a transexual or even be attracted to them. Apply that sentence above you said and apply it to someone that is African American, or someone that is Jewish, or someone that is Indian, or think of being applied to the people in your family, and you tell me if that doesn't sound prejudice. Applying that to transexuals doesn't make you any less prejudice. Stop spreading the hate. You don't have to like everyone you see or meet but you don't get to openly disrespect them.

 

But why are they on a dating site when it's a section for them on craiglist? As a guy when I'm browsing I don't want to see that mess

[Red Arremer]

Wow, thank God we have places for people unlike us that are separate, yet equal.

[kaylan]

I really have no clue whta you just said. But respecting other people isn't "politically correct". It's a basic human right.

You asked : When did simple human respect of others become "political correctness"?

 

He then replied: About 20 years ago is when simple human respect of others became "politically correct". Its an underhanded tactic used by the American Right (the GOP) to describe respectful language as "politically correct".

 

Example from last month:

 

An ESPN editor got fired for publishing a headline about basketball player Jeremy Lin having a "Chink in the Armor". A few pundits called the move unfair and believed that ESPN was being politically correct. They felt that ESPN was not recognizing the "fact" that it was a simple error by the editor to use this common phrase.

 

Never mind the fact that Jeremy Lin is Asian American and the editor should have known better.

Edited March 14, 2012 by kaylan

[kaylan]

But why are they on a dating site when it's a section for them on craiglist? As a guy when I'm browsing I don't want to see that mess

Why are natural born men or women on a dating site when theres a section for them on craigslist?

 

I hope you get my point. (hint: TS folk are people just like everyone else...and online dating is for EVERYONE to use.)

Edited March 14, 2012 by kaylan

[Diamonds&Rust]

I really have no clue whta you just said. But respecting other people isn't "politically correct". It's a basic human right.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You don't hear people who are conscientious about their language using the term; instead, it's designed to defer responsibility and make sensitivity seem like dishonesty.

Huh? My discomfort? How does this make any sense to what I said??

You're uncomfortable with the idea of transsexuals "passing" as "real women," so in essence a chaotic world in which gender is not as static as norms would hope is being asked to conform to that discomfort of yours.

 

Transsexuals should reveal their experience with gender to everyone in order to avoid someone accidentally developing feelings for them.

I don't think someone that is transsexual should hide that when they are looking to date/get sexually envolved with others. I also don't think people should lie about their weight, IQ or height in online dating.

Your analogy is flawed. This is akin to not posting a height at all and being accused as fraudulently passing oneself off as another height.

 

Besides, if these people are so obviously not female, the OP's original barb is correct--they're not fooling anyone. However, if you can't tell that someone is a transsexual and they don't trust you with that information, your belief that you have a right to know comes only from your discomfort that would come from accidentally sleeping with one.

 

The confusion this would doubtlessly induce about your own sexual identity is essentially this person's problem, because of your beliefs about gender identity. Re-framing it as an issue of general honesty is disingenuous, keeping in mind that if this person were biologically female, you had otherwise determined that sexual contact was perfectly fine.

 

But why are they on a dating site when it's a section for them on craiglist? As a guy when I'm browsing I don't want to see that mess

Why are they using internet at all when there are plenty of poorly-lit bridges under which they could cruise for anonymous sex?

 

That it offends you to even encounter images of these human beings could reveal the extent of your prejudice, man. Consider that they don't have the option to filter out jackasses and must also encounter profiles and must determine whether the profile they're viewing belongs to someone who will treat them with respect. They have no right to know regarding your humanity!

 

Really, if you're going to own the belief that transsexuals need to disclose to you what they really are, then just friggin own it. Don't hide behind some universal sense of "morality" here. You've got a problem with them, so you want them to avoid you; this isn't about them at all.

Edited March 14, 2012 by Diamonds&Rust

[TaraMaiden]

But why are they on a dating site when it's a section for them on craiglist? As a guy when I'm browsing I don't want to see that mess

mess...?

MESS?

wow, you are the one who's a mess....!

 

this brings to mind the question i heard someone asking a friend of mine:

 

"When did you first realise you were homosexual?"

 

My friend replied with the question,

 

"When did you first realise you were heterosexual?"

 

there is no intrinsic difference between your sexual persuasion, and that of a homosexual, bisexual, or trasssexual...

people are born the way they are born, and no matter what their race, background, culture, religion or environment, that's the way they are.

 

but let me give you a demonstration of how a transsexual feels:

 

you're a guy, right?

you shave, fart, and do loads of other guy things, like maybe play baseball, go out for a drink, share crude jokes with the guys, and you are an all-round, all-American dude, right?

you feel, act and think 100% male.

 

now - stop, and imagine how you would feel, if - feeling precisely like the wholesome hunky, chunky guy you are - you actually were to look in the mirror - - and see the reflection of a woman.

 

that's you.

with breasts, soft skin, small hands, a nipped-in waist, a smaller adam's apple, and a slight physique.

a truly whole, physically perfect woman.

enclosing the psyche, temperament, character and mentality of you. A man.

 

and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

inside, is you.

Outside, is phillydudess.

she's gorgeous.

she's lovely.

she's perfect.

And inside, she's screaming and dying - because somehow, by some accident of genetics and chromosomes - she's enclosing the complete and total identity of a man.

you.

and you can't do a damn thing about it.

you get guys coming on to you, wanting dates.

You have to wear beautiful clothes, do your hair, wear make-up and conform to a standard persona - because that's what people see - but that's not who you are.

Inside, you're a man, having to suppress every natural habit, instinct and characteristic of a man, and behave in a way that is completely and utterly alien to you.

every single day, 24/7, year in, year out, day and night, month after month - you have to pretend to be someone you're not.

you have to camouflage your real personality and temperamernt, in order to make others see you as the woman they see.

you have to enact a whole charade, every single moment you're with people, because you're biologically, physically and visually, female.

but you know you're not.

 

now what do you do?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

But why are they on a dating site when it's a section for them on craiglist? As a guy when I'm browsing I don't want to see that mess

 

So basically you want them segregated to a place where you don't have to see it. This is to "get in the back of the bus for me". Grow up. The world is filled with crap I didn't want to see or know about. Such as your prejudice that makes other people feel bad about who they are. BUT since I am adult, I deal with and it's made me a better person instead of a naive little one. No one gives a crap about what you want to see or don't at the end of the day. The world is not created for you. That person has as much right to be on a legitimate dating site as you do. What you do NOT have a legitimate right to is flagrantly disrespect them. Do you know what you are PhillyDude? You are an adult Bully. And that is more shameful then when children do it. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself what kind of man do you want to be. Do you want to be the kind of man that humilates other people just because you don’t like something? Or do you want to be a different kind of man. That’s up to you. But you do NOT get to treat other people like crap.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You asked : When did simple human respect of others become "political correctness"?

 

He then replied: About 20 years ago is when simple human respect of others became "politically correct". Its an underhanded tactic used by the American Right (the GOP) to describe respectful language as "politically correct".

 

Example from last month:

 

An ESPN editor got fired for publishing a headline about basketball player Jeremy Lin having a "Chink in the Armor". A few pundits called the move unfair and believed that ESPN was being politically correct. They felt that ESPN was not recognizing the "fact" that it was a simple error by the editor to use this common phrase.

 

Never mind the fact that Jeremy Lin is Asian American and the editor should have known better.

 

I KNOW what political correctness is or isn't. That example has nothing to do with this situation. We aren't talking about someone that had a little slip of word. We are talking about someone that is opennly express prejudice simply because he doesn't like something.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Your analogy is flawed. This is akin to not posting a height at all and being accused as fraudulently passing oneself off as another height.

 

that's usually what happens when someone says they are a different height then what they are.

 

Besides, if these people are so obviously not female, the OP's original barb is correct--they're not fooling anyone. However, if you can't tell that someone is a transsexual and they don't trust you with that information, your belief that you have a right to know comes only from your discomfort that would come from accidentally sleeping with one.

 

The OP took it on himself to bully someone else. It's just that simple. He does not have the right to do that. No matter what he things.

 

And seriously, stop telling me what I think and feel. It's wrong. You have no clue about my person life experiences. The desire to know if someone is transsexual or not is to know who you are staring a relationship with . And it's no different then any other characteristic. And no one should feel ashamed of being tanssexual so it should be something they should be honest about. There are men I turned down do to their life styles that were perfectly nice guys but I knew because of their lifestyle we wouldn't be compatable. Some will be compatible with transsexuals, some won't. Just like everything else in dating. There is no reason to hide you.

 

The confusion this would doubtlessly induce about your own sexual identity is essentially this person's problem, because of your beliefs about gender identity. Re-framing it as an issue of general honesty is disingenuous, keeping in mind that if this person were biologically female, you had otherwise determined that sexual contact was perfectly fine.

 

No, you telling me what I think and feel and why I think and feel it IS what is truly disengenuous. Perhaps this is how YOU would feel if you were in that situation but do not dictate to me that that is what I think. You do not get to dictate the termso f other peoples sexuality or what they would or wouldn't feel comfortable with because you simply don't know. Yet you try to articulate as if you are a scientific fact based person when your posts are merely your personal feelings. Not substantial fact based information.

[kaylan]

I KNOW what political correctness is or isn't. That example has nothing to do with this situation. We aren't talking about someone that had a little slip of word. We are talking about someone that is opennly express prejudice simply because he doesn't like something.

^I was simply explaining what Diamonds&Rust was saying since you seemed to get confused earlier.

 

Also, that example I made is an example of how the Right throws around the phrase politically correct. Hence I made an example of Diamonds&Rust's post. I wasnt making a comparison to the main topic of the thread.

 

I thought you would have figured that out. Apparently you got confused again.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

^I was simply explaining what Diamonds&Rust was saying since you seemed to get confused.

 

Also, that example is an example of how the Right throws around the phrase politically correct. Hence I made an example of Diamonds&Rust's post. I wasnt making a comparison to the main topic of the thread.

 

I thought you would have figured that out. Apparently you got confused again.

 

At least I am honest when I don't understand someone else's post and don't try and pretend I know what they are getting at. Not everyone thinks the same way. You don't need to be pissy about it or be mean with little comments like "I thought you would have figured that out. Apparently you got confused again." What the heck is that anyway? I still don't get half of what Diamond&Rust is saying but he reminds me a lot of A O.

[kaylan]

At least I am honest when I don't understand someone else's post and don't try and pretend I know what they are getting at. Not everyone thinks the same way. You don't need to be pissy about it or be mean with little comments like "I thought you would have figured that out. Apparently you got confused again." What the heck is that anyway? I still don't get half of what Diamond&Rust is saying but he reminds me a lot of A O.

Im pissy? If anything you came off pissy in your most recent posts. Especially in the one directed at me. You started the post off by yelling your first two words, which then set the tone for your reply. Then you misinterpreted what I was trying to do with my post. That explains why I responded the way I did. My apologies I guess.

 

Who is A O btw?

[TaraMaiden]

guys, don't squabble - you're both making sense.

Focus on what matters.

we're trying to 'redirect' the OP's warped opinion here.....

 

c'mon fellas.....

[Mme. Chaucer]

I get the feeling that there is something to the OP's obsession with seeking out the tg/ tv folks on OK Cupid and getting all indignant about them.

 

 

OP, I wonder if there is something you might be interested in exploring? No shame in that, honest.

[Diamonds&Rust]

that's usually what happens when someone says they are a different height then what they are.

You're ignorant for claiming a transsexual is lying for identifying as female.

 

If someone does not specify their anatomy at birth, they are not lying to you. An incorrect height is a poor analogy because it contains false information.

The OP took it on himself to bully someone else. It's just that simple. He does not have the right to do that. No matter what he things.

I don't think I said anything to the contrary.

And seriously, stop telling me what I think and feel. It's wrong. You have no clue about my person life experiences.

Total red herring. I'm talking about the standards of behavior you're proposing as norms, not your personal life experience. If you don't want to make this about you, then don't.

The desire to know if someone is transsexual or not is to know who you are staring a relationship with . And it's no different then any other characteristic.

Backpedal; we're talking about relationships and lifestyle compatibility now?

 

A desire to know is a normal part of curiosity. A right to know is a concession to ignorance and homophobia. Huge difference. A good way to satisfy your curiosity is to respectfully ask questions.

And no one should feel ashamed of being tanssexual so it should be something they should be honest about.

Naive idealism. People have been killed for failing to disclose their status. The bottom line is that your feelings about trans people are not well-informed. Everything you say confirms this.

 

Perhaps this is how YOU would feel if you were in that situation but do not dictate to me that that is what I think. You do not get to dictate the termso f other peoples sexuality or what they would or wouldn't feel comfortable with because you simply don't know.

You're confusing observation for dictation.

 

Also, no one is forcing you to sleep with someone with whom you're not comfortable. I'm only pointing out that the perceived "right to know" is an artifact of ignorance and homophobia. I don't need to speculate about your feelings because your words are right in front of me.

[zengirl]

D&R,

 

I don't think you're wrong about the 'lying' bit or the reasons many people want to know.

 

However, do you not think that it is something you should share with a potentially serious partner -- since transgender impacts fertility (there would be none) and requires ongoing hormonal treatments generally, that alone would be a reason, not to mention it's generally a central piece of one's life; you don't change your gender without, generally, an emotional and conscious journey about who you are, which (whatever that journey was) would be something I would feel personally compelled to share with potential partners.

 

Only interjecting because I'm truly curious about your thoughts on it, from that perspective. For instance, I always shared the more important parts of myself, even if controversial (the fiance I had that died, the fact that I've been on and off anti-anxiety meds all my life, etc, being two of the more controversial) fairly early on (pre-sex). I find that important, as someone who's seeking an open, honest, monogamous relationship. Same as mentioning if you've had children or cancer or been the victim of major trauma or whatever---any major life-changing decisions or events.

 

To me, deliberately withholding those would be akin to lying, really. Granted, I wouldn't expect it in a dating profile, but I also wouldn't expect it withheld for ages. Anyway, I mostly agree with you but am just wondering the range of your thoughts on this. Is it something you think someone can, with honesty and integrity, keep from a partner they marry? Live with? Date for years? Know is looking for marriage? Suspect would reject them if they knew?

[somedude81]

This thread is ridiculous.

 

Yes the OP used the wrong word to describe a man dressing as a woman. The worst thing that can be said of him is that he's ignorant.

 

As for the meaning of the thread, a man has no business trying to pass himself off as a woman so he can try and pick up straight men.

 

That's the same thing as a woman cutting her hair short and trying to pretend that she's a man so she can pick up straight girls.

[zengirl]

This thread is ridiculous.

 

Yes the OP used the wrong word to describe a man dressing as a woman. The worst thing that can be said of him is that he's ignorant.

 

As for the meaning of the thread, a man has no business trying to pass himself off as a woman so he can try and pick up straight men.

 

That's the same thing as a woman cutting her hair short and trying to pretend that she's a man so she can pick up straight girls.

 

A transgendered person is not a 'man' passing as a 'woman' (or vice versa) in most cases. There are various stages, of course, but most are actually seeking to redefine their identities as the opposite gender, and they have a psychological journey in many cases because they feel they were born into the wrong body/gender. Think about how truly frustrating that might be---or at least try. They don't want to "fool" anyone; they just want to be who they feel they are, and the transformation requires a lot of a person, so they must feel this truly deeply.

 

You are also quite a bit ignorant on this, it seems. I don't know everything about it, mind you, but this idea that they're just "passing" is the whole crux of the OP's problem. They are actually becoming/have become another gender.

 

The idea that they're trying to "fool" anyone is absurd. They just want to be themselves in most cases, I assume.

[somedude81]

We know nothing about the person the OP was talking about other than it was a man wearing a wig, that had a profile on the woman side of OKC saying that he was interested in straight men.

 

That also means we don't know if that were TS or TG.

Edited March 14, 2012 by somedude81