hawkgirl24 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 My boyfriend of 3 and a half years and I broke up on Valentine's, and it has been a very long and bumpy road. When we broke up, he said that he just wanted to be single, as he has not been single in a long time. He said he had no desire to be with other girls, and that hooking up with others wasn't his thing (we had both lost our virginity to each other, and we're the only one eachother has been with). I just found out that less than a month after we broke up, he's been out hooking up with other girls. It is a knife in my chest, and this is the worst thing I have ever had to deal with. The break up was hard enough, but I never thought I would have to deal with knowing about this, and so soon! I have tried calling everyone to just talk about it, and get my emotions out, but no one will pick up the phone. I am miserable, and can't keep from crying. I want to get over him so badly, but it seems so impossible! It's not that I even want to be with him, it's just that I never thought he would do this to me. And I know that I shouldn't even think this, but I always thought that if he wanted to get back together, he would make it up to me, and then we would. But now that he has been with others, I can't ever see myself going back to him, even though I want to so badly! I am hurting so much right now.
mike588 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Sorry to hear your going thru so much pain....you've come to the right place. You sound young and this is just a part of life we ALL have to go thru at one or more times in our life. As difficult as this is now you WILL eventually get thru/over in time..its a learning...growing experience and you will come out stronger in the end. I know it's so easy for me to say that but I've (and others here) have been there...it's very upsetting...so painful....so hard to function but it gets better in time.
jus d'orange Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) Hi HawkGirl, I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 3 years and 8 months. She broke things off 6-7 weeks ago. She had cheated a couple times early in the relationship -- the first time before we'd had sex and the second time after. She was my first for most everything, although I'd hooked up with one girl prior. She was similar. The pain and loss I felt from her cheating and hooking up with someone else really really hurt. I remember it well, but it doesn't hurt me anymore. When she broke things off, she said to me that she "wanted to be single and explore her sexuality with others." OUCH that was hard to hear. Here was someone who I was perfectly happy with physically, and she wanted to experience other people. The thought followed me around for a few weeks. Since then, I've gotten interested in someone new. Maybe my ex has hooked up with new people, maybe she hasn't. It doesn't matter to me. It shouldn't matter to you either. I'm more interested in what I've got going on now that what she's got going on. Yes, this will hurt; it sucks to learn of something like this. However, you need to come to terms with it. Even though he said he wouldn't want to hook up with others, that's what being single entails. He has every right to. So do you. You need to realize that, since the breakup, you are both now totally single. Don't keep yourself for him. You need to let go any sense of loyalty to him and recognize he has no loyalty to you. Realize, too, that hooking up is not a big deal. In the end, I got over my ex's cheating because it was just a hookup. Deep emotional attachment is something that is much more meaningful and much more difficult to make happen in one drunken episode. If you need to talk to people, keep calling and keep posting. You'll get through this. Get the logical mind in order... the heart will follow eventually. You can do it. Edited March 11, 2012 by jus d'orange
CaliBabe Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know it is not much comfort, but we alot of us here have been there and know your pain. It is very hard losing someone you love. At this point the only thing that will really help ease the pain is time. Support from your friends and family, and trying to do things for yourself. Be strong, it is a hard journey but you will make it through.
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