starla33 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 so thinking back on the date i went on last week i'm a bit shocked and confused to be honest. I guess it takes me a few days to process and think about them. I did feel like I liked the guy and wouldn't mind seeing him again, but now thinking back: he talked about all the other girls hes gone out with from the dating site, made him sound like a serial dater, went on about how he wants something serious but is always looking for next best thing. YES this guy actually said this. I don't know if he has 0 tact or what. Other than his verbal diarrhea the date was good, but some of the stuff above is red flags to me.
Author starla33 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 Haha wow that bad that nobody even replied?
theories_galore Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Sounds like a few red flags. Nobody should be talking about other girls/exes while on a date. Sounds like buddy is insecure and is looking for validation. Give it another shot and see what happens. If it continues or you keep getting bad vibes from him, ditch 'em. You'll find better.
Author starla33 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 Sounds like a few red flags. Nobody should be talking about other girls/exes while on a date. Sounds like buddy is insecure and is looking for validation. Give it another shot and see what happens. If it continues or you keep getting bad vibes from him, ditch 'em. You'll find better. Yeah I in the middle of the date just assumed he wants to be friends or is not interested obviously since that is just not something you talk to a first date about. But later on he got touchy feely and asked me on a 2nd date. Confusing
theories_galore Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Yeah I in the middle of the date just assumed he wants to be friends or is not interested obviously since that is just not something you talk to a first date about. But later on he got touchy feely and asked me on a 2nd date. Confusing Sounds like he's just wanting to get some. He's not looking for anything more than FWB possibly. I'd trust your gut feeling you had in the middle of the date. If you decide to try it again, you need to tell him your expectations (like, if you're looking for a serious relationship or whatever it is your wanting at this point in your life). Once you lay it out there, gauge his reaction and act accordingly.
Author starla33 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 Sounds like he's just wanting to get some. He's not looking for anything more than FWB possibly. I'd trust your gut feeling you had in the middle of the date. If you decide to try it again, you need to tell him your expectations (like, if you're looking for a serious relationship or whatever it is your wanting at this point in your life). Once you lay it out there, gauge his reaction and act accordingly. Oh I did he said he is too. I mean he wasn't touchy feely in a rude overly obnoxious way. Maybe be just has 0 tact? Who knows he said he ends up friends with most of the girls he goes out with lol wonder why
FitChick Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I like hearing about someone's exes. You can learn a lot about the guy. The exception would be someone who was still fixated on his ex.
dasein Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 There's a small chance he felt insecure, that you were out of his league in some way, and his talking about other women was a feeble, misguided attempt to impress you. It's surely bad social form, but if the rest of the date went well, would give him another chance if he asks and if he repeats the behavior, then move to next.
carhill Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Are you usually sure about going out again at this point? IOW, would examining this and making a cognitive decision to go out again, if you do, be in keeping with your style of dating?
spiderowl Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 went on about how he wants something serious but is always looking for next best thing That's the big red flag! That is his dating approach. He is also consciously or unconsciously warning you that once it starts to get serious, he will be mentally opting out. The guy is telling you he hurts women! It's your choice whether you want to see him again, but he's a commitment phobe by the sound of it.
Author starla33 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 That's the big red flag! That is his dating approach. He is also consciously or unconsciously warning you that once it starts to get serious, he will be mentally opting out. The guy is telling you he hurts women! It's your choice whether you want to see him again, but he's a commitment phobe by the sound of it. He said this was after he got out of a long relationship though so I think maybe he was just having fun for a bit, who knows. I've never had anyone talk about this stuff on a first date. I did have one guy who flat out said hes looking for casual so these days seems like a lot of people are at least honest about it.
Author starla33 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 Are you usually sure about going out again at this point? IOW, would examining this and making a cognitive decision to go out again, if you do, be in keeping with your style of dating? Well no, not really. I feel like my style of dating previously was to just keep on dating till i had that insane instant spark (which I only got with players). I have changed this recently and am trying to give nice guys a chance. Or hoping they are nice away.
mortensorchid Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 At a first meeting, no one should tell things about themselves like that whether or not they meant to be funny or something. I wouldn't follow up on this one.
Author starla33 Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 At a first meeting, no one should tell things about themselves like that whether or not they meant to be funny or something. I wouldn't follow up on this one. I agree, but some people are just not good at dating right?
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